Being caught in a bully’s crossfire may leave you feeling as if you have only two choices—to fight or to flee. Yet as people of faith, we have a third choice—to deal with bullies the way Jesus did. Think about it: Jesus was bullied, ridiculed, spat on, and struck down; but he didn’t fight back physically against those who bullied him. Instead, he forgave them.

Early in his ministry, Jesus taught us to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44, NRSV). Forgiveness allows us to release to God our hurt, anger, and pain. Yet, most of us find it difficult to love those who harass or intimidate us.

• Don’t keep it a secret. If you’re being bullied, tell someone. Never be embarrassed or ashamed about being bullied. Some of your favorite celebrities have been bullied and talk about it publicly to let others know they aren’t alone. There is power in numbers. Tell an adult you trust.
• Create an anti-bullying plan. Writing down a course of action you can use daily, weekly, or monthly will enable you to focus on something constructive rather than on the negative actions of a bully. For example, during Week One you might offer your bully a smile. If that goes well, then during Week Two you might comment to him or her about a school-related topic: “Oh, did you have a hard time with the algebra homework, because I sure did.”
• Talk to God about your bully. Set aside some quiet time to talk with God about your bully problem. Be honest with God, and ask for guidance in the situation.
• Put on x-ray glasses to see your bully’s true colors. When you observe your bully through x-ray glasses, not condoning the actions but trying to see what lies beneath the mean exterior, you may discover someone who is very insecure or hurting, someone who is acting out because of deep-rooted pain.
• Write a letter to your bully. Tell your bully how his or her actions make you feel. Be specific and direct. Even if you don’t send the letter, writing a letter can be therapeutic, allowing you to think through the problem and to get stuff off your chest. If you wish, share your letter with your best friend, your parents, your pastor, a teacher, or a counselor.
• Walk away. It’s not cowardly to walk away; sometimes this is the most courageous and Christ-like action you can take.
• Surround yourself with positive friends. Don’t become a loner because you are being bullied. Make new friends; go out with old friends. Spend time with the people who love you.
• Become proactive. Join an anti-bullying club. If your school doesn’t have one, take the lead and talk with your principal about starting one. Get the word out: tweet it, make Facebook posts, create an anti-bullying mural at school. Bullying must stop—and it will if we all take a stand to end it by following the way of Jesus.

DIG DEEPER

Dealing with a bully can take a toll on your self-image. Design a sign or poster that lists all of your awesomeness so you will always have a reminder of your unique qualities. For example, your list may include these traits: “Proud to Be Me, Creative, Thoughtful, Cool, Artistic, Outstanding, Unique, a Winner.” If you prefer, create a name poem by writing a list of your positive qualities, each one beginning with a different letter in your name. Hang your poster or poem in a place where you will see it every day.

The righteous will flourish like a palm tree. . . .
They will still bear fruit in old age,
they will stay fresh and green.
Psalm 92:12a, 14 (NIV)

Because our culture often glorifies youth, some of us assume that the elderly have “had their day” and are no longer productive members of society. My grandpa and countless others like him prove that idea to be false. I hope that in another 40 or 50 years I’ll be doing as much to serve the Lord as my grandpa is doing today.

REFLECT: What older person do you admire who is active and still making a difference in his or her community? What can you learn from him or her about how to age gracefully?

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.    —Hebrews 12:1–2a (NIV)

Our Heritage

My family tree is a mix of various nationalities, which makes it difficult to figure out my biological pedigree. Thankfully, I’m more concerned about my spiritual background and about learning from the Bible characters who have helped to shape the person I am today. Joseph, a teenager, was sold into slavery in Egypt; yet he and others prospered because of his faith in God. Joseph’s story reminds me that God is with us even during tough times. King Solomon used the wisdom God had granted him to teach others about God. His wise advice recorded in the Book of Proverbs is still applicable today. Paul traveled the known world to share the good news of Jesus Christ. Paul’s letters in the New Testament continue to teach us how to live a Christ-filled life. Whatever my biological background, I know who I am in Christ.

—Logan Smith, 18

Our Heroes

Joseph is my hero. After being sold into slavery, he worked diligently in Egypt, earning his rise from slave to second-in-command. Even when faced with sexual temptation, Joseph stood firm and remained faithful to God. When he was finally reunited with his brothers, who had betrayed him, Joseph did not seek revenge but instead forgave them. Astounded by his faith in God, I often ask myself, Am I a Joseph? Do I forgive others? Do I honor God above all else? Do I see my life through God’s eyes rather than my own? I pray to be more like Joseph. What Bible hero challenges you to be more faithful?

—Leah Bryan, 19

Our Role Models

It’s easy to feel as if I’m the only one struggling to follow Christ. Yet the Bible is full of stories of those who have followed Christ, even in times of adversity. Stephen sacrificed his life, refusing to deny the truth of the Gospel. Hot-headed and impetuous Peter loved Jesus enough to proclaim his love, even though it cost Peter his life. Paul, a man who persecuted Christians, was called by Christ to spread the Good News to the Gentiles. Lydia, a wealthy merchant, opened her home and her heart to those who would hear and preach the Gospel. These and other God-fearing men and women give my life perspective, my heart courage, and my soul hope.

—Danika Cooley

Our Family

If you’re like me, your eyes have glazed over while reading those long, boring genealogies in the Bible. I used to think these lists were irrelevant—until recently. The Israelites could trace their roots all the way back to Adam, reminding them of their place in God’s family. Jesus tells us in John 1:12 that through him, we too can become children of God. I now take joy in reading the ancient genealogies, because I know somewhere toward the end of the list, God has added my name to the family tree.

—Katy Steele, 21

DIG DEEPER

The List Goes On

Recently, my family started researching our genealogy. Now that I know the names of my ancestors from hundreds of years ago, I can’t help but wonder what they were like, how they lived, and what they left behind. Then my thoughts go deeper: What would my ancestors say to me if they could reach across the centuries? What could they teach me about life and faith? Soon I begin to ponder my own place in time: I wonder if my descendants will remember me, if my presence will positively influence their future?

Knowing your name is one of many in a long list may make you feel insignificant, but one life can make a difference for the generations that follow. How will your life affect future generations? What will you teach them about life and faith?

—Meagan Briggs, 24

One night, I called him. He listened. then he told me that he liked my being worried about my faith life. He believed my discontent showed that I wanted to strengthen my walk with Christ, and he felt that through our relationship we could challenge each other to grow in faith. I had thought that my confession might disappoint him; instead he offered me encouragement. He didn’t walk away from me saying, “You’re not a perfect Christian.” He reminded me that no one is perfect and showed me a glimpse of God’s love.

We all have weaknesses, but God doesn’t cast us aside or kick us out of the family. Even when we stumble, even when we disappoint, God gathers  us up in gracious love. If Art loves me despite my weaknesses, how much more does God love me!

May you know the fullness of God’s love as described in Ephesians 3:16-18.

PRAYER: Dear God, thank you for those who have shown me glimpses of your love. Help me to trust your presence and to show your love to others. Amen.

Every year thousands of American students attend school in fear. Sometimes their worst nightmares come true.

Jennifer’s Story

I’m scared. I’m lonely. I can’t feel a thing. It was supposed to be a normal day, but it ended a few hours later with me in tears as my parents picked me up from school. Reliving that day gives me chills. I can’t handle the memories. It could happen again—anywhere, at any time, to anyone. I can’t walk into school and pretend that nothing happened. The banners, the cards, and the repainted cafeteria are heartless reminders of the horror of that day. Perhaps that’s not exactly true; these reminders also show that people care about us and love us. Although bad things can and do happen, it helps me to remember that God promises never to leave or forsake us.

On February 27, 2012, there was a shooting at my school, Chardon High School. Three students were killed; two were wounded and yet survived. This tragedy has opened my eyes and has changed my life forever. I continue to live in fear, but I try to remember that God is with me—always.

—Jennifer Bushnell, 15

Allison’s Story

After the shooting at Chardon High School, I was in shock. A couple of weeks passed before it settled in that this was real. I was afraid to go to Spanish class, which is where I was when the shooting happened. I was afraid to wear the outfit I had worn that day. On St. Patrick’s Day, my neighbors had a party. I was in bed when I heard a popping noise. My sister ran into my bedroom; and we hid under my bed, crying, holding each other, and praying that the shooting would stop. Later, we discovered that the noise was fireworks exploding. A week after that, I was face-painting at a church festival, and the popping of balloons at the animal balloon station made me jump. I had difficulty holding back tears as I painted the children’s faces. A month later, I started having flashbacks. Every night, I lay in bed, tossing and turning and crying because the events of that day came flooding back whenever I closed my eyes. Although filled with fear, I knew that God was with me. Even today, I face my fear by reminding myself that God is with me, that God will cover me in love like a blanket, help me to fall asleep on those sleepless nights, and comfort me during those balloon-popping, firework-exploding moments. God is there for you too, especially in your times of greatest need. We can rely on God to be our healer and our comforter.

—Allison Kofol, 16

Juliana’s Story

When the Virginia Tech campus shooting took place six years ago, I was working at a church in Virginia. The pastor rushed into the office and asked how many of our students attended that college. Thankfully, none of our students were wounded or killed; but a few from our community were. The next night, our pastor held a service to pray for the families who had lost a loved one and to allow people to grieve in a supportive, loving environment.

This service taught me the importance of praying together through grief and pain. Communal prayer provides a healthy way to contemplate why crazy things happen, even if we don’t necessarily understand. It is frightening to think that any of us could be caught up in a horrific tragedy, but I have chosen not to dwell on this fear. Knowing that I am held in God’s hands allows me to live unafraid in this world, a place where bad things can happen for no apparent reason. God is with me at all times, and I choose to trust in God and to concentrate on the good this world has to offer.

—Juliana Jones

DIG DEEPER

Sometimes when tragedy strikes, there are no answers. As people of faith, we can trust God to be with us—and we can pray alone and together for comfort, for hope, and for the faith to keep trusting God. Pray for the families and friends of the victims of violence. Take comfort in God’s promise to be with us always in every circumstance: Psalm 118:6, Isaiah 41:10, and Hebrews 13:5b–6.

Fear tempts us to take our focus off of God and to put it on whatever circumstances threaten us. This change in focus is why God tells us to “Fear not!”

Begin with a story about fear. Read Mark 4:35–38, but do NOT read past verse 38.

When the storms of life are dark and raging, when the waves of life are hovering way over my head, when I call out for Jesus and he seems to be sleeping rather than helping me—then I am afraid.

What Fear Isn’t

Fear is not a sign of failure. It does not mean that we are weak or that we are not brave. The bravest people in the world have been afraid, but they were not overcome by fear.

What Fear Is

Fear is a feeling that makes us dread what we may encounter in the future. We may be afraid of taking a test, getting married, not getting married, being loved, not being loved, being alone. Sometimes we fear spiders, snakes, height—even fear itself.

Fear tempts us to take our focus off of God and to put it on whatever circumstances threaten us. This change in focus is why God tell us to “Fear Not!” God wants us always to look to God.

Read the story of Peter walking on the water in Matthew 14:22–36. Peter was able to walk on the water until he took his eyes off of Jesus. When Peter focused on the waves and the wind, he became afraid and began to sink. You know the feeling, don’t you? But if you know Jesus, you will not give in to fear!

How to Handle Fear

We can’t always choose the things that make us afraid, but we can choose what we do with our fear.

F - Focus on your faith, not on your fear (Colossians 3:1).

E – Enlist God’s help (Matthew 7:7).

A - Accept the peace that Jesus offers (John 14:27).

R - Rest in God. Be still and know that God is God (Psalm 46:10).

N - Nothing can separate you from God’s love (Roman 8:35–39).

O - Order your life, knowing that God is most important (Matthew 6:25–34)

T - Trust Jesus, the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).

Memorize these passages. When you are afraid, remember God’s word.

Choose Peace

When you are afraid, imagine Jesus giving you a gift. If you open it, you will find God’s gift of peace. If you choose not to open it, then fear will continue to take your focus away from Jesus. You can choose what you do with fear. Choose peace!

The Rest of the Story

We understand how the disciples felt that night in the boat on a stormy sea. They were afraid for their lives. But read Mark 4:39–41 to see what happens next. Jesus speaks and calms the seas. Jesus speaks to calm the storms in our lives too.

DIG DEEPER

Make a list of things of which you are afraid. Then read Mark 4:35–41. Imagine that your life is a small boat floating in the ocean. Imagine that the things you fear are waves ready to swamp your little boat. You turn to Jesus for help. Hear Jesus say to the waves, “Peace! Be still!” What happens? How do you feel? What do you say or do?

Mark 4:35–38

According to the American Heritage Dictionary, the word success means “the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted.” Achieving success can be easy or difficult, depending on what you desire, plan, or attempt. Getting my coffee brewed in the morning (except on the dreariest Mondays) hardly compares to the success of being admitted to Harvard or of climbing Mount Everest.

Success—But Not for Me

A few years ago, I had achieved what many people would define as success. I had graduated from college at the head of my class and attended a top-ten law school. I had built a resume full of successes that would snag a job interview. I had edited the Law Review and could write an impressive law brief. After graduation, I could go almost anywhere, so I chose a high-paying, private-practice litigation job. At age twenty-five, I was making more money than my parents’ salaries combined.

It didn’t take me long to realize that, although other people may have found benefits and joy in my chosen career path, my achievements were not success for me. No matter how hard I worked, in my heart of hearts, I did not have a burning desire for my client to recover more money from or to avoid being found liable to another lawyer’s client. These may have been my clients’ definitions of success, but they weren’t mine. It wasn’t what I desired, wanted, or yearned for and would not bring me a unique sense of achievement and wholeness.

Looking to God

I had completely missed the point. God doesn’t call us to build a resume that will meet someone else’s definition of success. God calls us to seek God’s will, to lean not on our own understanding but on God’s guidance. I had succeeded in following what I thought was expected of me, but I had forgotten to ask what God was expecting of me—what God had created me to achieve. Nothing was inherently wrong with the job, paycheck, or perfect resume except that it was wrong for me. It was not what God had planned for my life. I ended up miserable, feeling completely lost even when I appeared to have it all.

God is always there when we get confused and lose track of the path we’re supposed to be walking. Admitting that my life wasn’t perfect was not easy for me, especially since my situation looked like success to the people I knew, even to my family and close friends. I needed a full dose of feeling frail, afraid, and depressed before I recognized my weakness and stopped thinking I knew where I was going. Then I could look to God, who actually knows the path I should be taking. And I needed the courage that comes only from God to change my direction.

I took a sizeable pay cut and began a public service job in which I write and enforce environmental regulations. Each day, I use the same talents—even my law degree—to make the world a little better place. Now I see myself as successful, not by the world’s standards but in God’s eyes.

DIG DEEPER

Make a short list of careers you are considering. For each one, ask yourself: Am I considering this career because of the job’s power and prestige or because I would enjoy the work and could make a difference in the world? Read Proverbs 3:5 and Mark 1:16–20. Journal and pray about what God is calling you to do.

In high school, I didn’t think I could have a career and serve in ministry at the same time. I thought I had to choose between the two because being a professional and working for God’s kingdom weren’t necessarily compatible. My parents, both pastors, encouraged my siblings and me to put our talents to good use in careers about which we felt passionate. My sister chose psychology; my brother, music production; and I, journalism and media.

I believe that if people are well informed about what is going on in the world, they are able to make better decisions. Journalism is important because it makes information accessible to people.

Imagine how terrible I felt when I heard someone say that journalism and Christianity can’t mix and that true believers who are journalists are playing with fire because the media tend to have serious ethical problems. The last thing I wanted was to fail God, so I struggled as I tried to figure out whether a career in media was right for me.

I was thankful to learn that God is as excited about our careers as we are and that God wants us to use our careers for good. I trusted that my interest in the field of journalism was no accident. Despite my doubts, I stuck with it.

My first job after college was as an editorial assistant for a daily newspaper. I was young, excited, and overwhelmed. During the first few weeks, I received an email from my uncle, who is the executive director of a major newspaper in my native Dominican Republic. After welcoming me to the world of journalism, he said, “Make Jehovah the Lord of your vocation.” Those words forever changed how I approach my career.

Realizing that God is in control of my career not only helped to calm my nerves at the time, but has continued to guide me in making professional decisions. I am encouraged by my uncle, a man of great faith, who has had a successful career as a journalist and is respected for the way he does his job. God has surrounded me with people of faith, including an editor who is now a minister and co-workers who get together for Bible study during lunch. I have also spent some time doing public relations for The Salvation Army, a Christian organization.

Today I am using my journalism and media skills to oversee a radio and television ministry for New Day Global Missions. I also write about Christianity for various publications.

God is using my career and my background to spread God’s message of love and salvation to many people. I wish I could talk to the person who made me doubt my career choice and explain that God has been faithful in my professional life. My career hasn’t compromised my faith or led me away from God. Rather, being a journalist has allowed me to honor God through my work.

DIG DEEPER

Servants of God, working in many different fields, are using their positions and their resources to help their communities. Chefs feed the poor; accountants do free tax returns; doctors treat the uninsured. This weekend, make a list of the careers you are exploring. How can you honor God by helping others through each of them? Keep the list as you pray for God’s guidance.

“I guess God needed another soprano in the heavenly choir.” That’s the “comfort” a church member provided when my friend’s mom died. When another friend’s dad was caught having an affair, all my friend heard from the pastor was that “God moves in mysterious ways.” People of faith try to provide comfort and assurance in times of grief, but the theology behind their comments is often shortsighted.

Theodicy

Have you wondered about the seemingly contradictory statements “God is all-powerful” and “God is all-loving”? A typical thought process goes like this: If God were all-loving and all-powerful, God wouldn’t allow so much suffering in the world. If God is all-loving, God must not be all-powerful because suffering still exists. Alternately, if God is all-powerful, then God must not be as caring as we thought because a loving God would put a stop to suffering.

The fancy theological word for these arguments is theodicy, which tries to answer this question: How can evil exist in a world created and sustained by a God who is good? People have been asking this question for years. In the Book of Job, Job’s friends put forth a whole series of propositions to explain his suffering. They were wrong on every count, yet they kept trying: Had Job sinned and not yet repented? Had one of his ancestors sinned and passed down the curse to him? Had he been mistaken about where his faith lay?

Many people look for answers to the question “Why?”—even people with rock-solid faith; and often they latch on to the simplest explanations or the ones that sound best at the time. Rarely do their answers provide the comfort they seek.

Grief Can Be Helpful

The problem with jumping too quickly to answers is that we fail to give appropriate time and consideration to grief. Forcing pat answers onto other people can do spiritual damage because simple answers aren’t enough to satisfy their deepest longings.

As a result, they look elsewhere. In the best cases, they turn to friends, who may or may not offer helpful solutions, and to others in similar circumstances, which can sometimes lead to wallowing in the misery. In worse cases, they seek consolation from drugs, alcohol, sex, or other risky behaviors designed to drown the pain. People who are suffering may not be seeking answers as much as they’re looking for ways to deal with their pain.

Ministry of Presence

My friends’ experiences were particularly sad because they should have found comfort from the church. The church should be the safest harbor around—but not if we offer quick fixes or one-liners tossed off from an emotional distance. We comfort only when we enter into another person’s pain and walk through it with him or her.

When a friend is in pain, the easy response is to combat awkwardness by trying to explain the suffering. Simply being present in the pain is more helpful. Hugging, crying with another person, sitting with him or her without trying to fill the silence are ways to be present. We don’t need to be scholars to bring a ministry of presence to people who hurt; we just need to show up.

DIG DEEPER

• Make a list of five people you would feel reasonably comfortable being with in a time of crisis. Keep the list handy for when you need it.
• If everyone in your life were making the same list, your name would show up on a few of them. Think through how you can be present for other people, without having to explain their pain.
• Where are you spiritually fed? With whom can you talk about controversial topics? Find a spiritual director, accountability partner, faith friend, or covenant group that you trust. Or help to create a culture of trust in your Sunday school class or youth group. Help the church become the safe harbor Jesus meant it to be.

Jesus tackled many tough topics. On several occasions, the scribes and Pharisees tried to trick Jesus into saying something wrong so that they could take him before the governor for judgment. They were malicious, plotting against him, provoking him, and deliberately asking him questions that would trap him. Yet when they confronted him, Jesus didn’t back down.

Judgment

One time, Jesus’ conspirators brought to him an adulterous woman, who by law should have been stoned. They asked his opinion about what to do with her, hoping to bring charges against him for his response. Instead of condemning the woman, Jesus forgave her and challenged her accusers to think about their own sin (John 8:1–11).

Sin

Another night, Jesus had dinner at a Pharisee’s house. A woman arrived, washed Jesus’ feet with her tears, dried them with her hair, and anointed them with expensive oil. Some of the dinner guests became angry because Jesus didn’t stop the woman, who was a sinner; but instead of condemning her, Jesus forgave her and accepted her act of worship (Luke 7:36–50).

Authority

Another tough issue Jesus tackled was the controversy over his own identity. Believing that only God can forgive sins, the scribes challenged Jesus’ authority to heal and to forgive (Matthew 9:2–8). When Jesus was taken before the religious authorities, the high priest asked if he was God’s Son. Confronted, Jesus stood his ground. He refused to be intimidated, even when facing certain death (Matthew 26:57–68).

Pride

Although Jesus was the Son of God and was able to work miracles, he remained humble, giving all the glory to God. He made time for children when the disciples tried to keep them away (Mark 10:13–16). He mingled with crowds of people, letting them touch him and speak with him (Mark 5:24–34). Instead of entering Jerusalem on a stately horse, Jesus rode a humble donkey (Matthew 21:1–11). Even after he was condemned to death, as he hung on the cross, Jesus could have called for a host of angels to save him; but he didn’t. Instead, he claimed that he had come into the world for just this purpose (John 18:33–38, 19:8–16).

Living for God

Jesus went against the norm and lived totally for God. He healed people on the Sabbath, a day on which, according to the law, no work should be done. He ate and drank with sinners; he exposed the hearts of those who were religious but had no real relationship with God. He tackled sickness and death by healing the sick and raising the dead. Even his disciples questioned him, but Jesus’ only aim was to please God.

Facing adversaries is always a challenge. Jesus could stand with boldness and confidence because of his intimate relationship with God. Because Jesus withdrew to pray and to spend time alone in God’s presence, he was filled with the strength to face his enemies. When we deal with tough topics, we can remember Jesus’ example. By spending time with God, we too can learn to ground our thoughts and actions in firm beliefs and receive strength to speak and act boldly.

DIG DEEPER

Consider a time when you took or failed to take a stand on a tough topic. Were you trying to please God or the crowd? Meditate on Luke 12:11–12. How can these verses encourage you the next time you face a tough situation?

Recently, I have been learning to swing dance. I have found that to dance well with a partner takes a lot more than knowing the steps.

1. Don’t Anticipate

When I anticipated the next steps, most of the time I stepped on my partner’s toes, got ahead of the beat, and messed up the dance. The only expectation necessary is to know that my partner will lead me into the next step. To dance well means being present to the step at hand and not guessing what comes next.

2. Follow

I’m used to doing my own thing, in my own time and in my own way. Following on the dance floor is a challenge. My dance instructor says, “On the dance floor, the leader is always right.” Dancing doesn’t work with two leaders. To dance well, one person must lead and the other must follow so that the two become one as they move around the floor.

3. Trust

I have a tendency to look at my feet, which is a hazard when moving around the dance floor. To solve the problem, my instructor told me to dance with my eyes closed. Closing my eyes required that I trust my partner and feel the movement of the dance. To dance well with another takes trust and looking up.

4. Keep the Tension

I’m laid back; I’m not a fan of stress or tension. But in dancing, tension is necessary to be able to relax and to move with a partner. Tension in the frame, the points of contact of the arms and hands, lets me know what direction we’re about to go and when I’m about to be turned. Tension allows one person to lead and one to follow without a word being spoken. To dance well with another requires a frame, a defined space, tension, and a way of being together.

5. Take Small Steps

I have long legs. When I dance, I tend to take big steps, long strides—and before I know it, I’m completely out of sync. Small steps are best in dancing. They keep me in time, but they also slow me down. I relax, enjoy the dance, move more fluidly, and rest into the lead of my partner. To dance well with a partner is easier with smaller steps.

6. Be Ready

Toward the end of one class, my partner said to me, “Always keep your arms up, so you’re ready for the next move.” Of course, my tendency is to drop my arms as soon as one of them is released. But if I drop my arms, I’m not ready to follow whatever comes next. I’m not ready to be twirled, rocked, pulled, or pushed because my hands aren’t available. To dance well with another is to be available and ready for the next move.

My dance lessons are teaching me how to move in relationships as well as on the dance floor. What would change if you practiced these dance lessons with your parents and your friends? How would learning to dance help your relationship with God?

DIG DEEPER

Let’s take dancing a step further. As Jesus began to head toward Jerusalem for the last time, he told his disciples, “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how” (Matthew 16:24–25, The Message).

How well do you let God lead? In what ways is following difficult for you? Dancing is much easier when you have someone to show you how. In what ways does God show you how to dance with other people and with God?

The kingdom of God can be confusing. Christians pray The Lord’s Prayer, saying, “Thy kingdom come . . . on earth as it is in heaven,” as if the kingdom were not here yet. Jesus said, “The kingdom of God is among you” (Luke 17:21, NRSV). So which is it—already or not yet?

It’s both. But how is that possible? Listen to a story:

Once upon a time, a just and merciful king gave his subjects the freedom to choose. Being inherently selfish, they chose their own way, thinking they would enjoy ruling themselves. They didn’t realize, until it was too late, that their selfishness would turn the land into a war zone, pitting families and clans against one another. False kings arose. Children suffered. Death became the greatest enemy. Some people longed for the return of the true king.

The situation was so bad that the king could not appear in all his glory. He arrived in the guise of a poor man with mysterious healing powers. Rumors began to spread: The true kingdom was near, just around the corner; false rulers would soon be overthrown. The poor healer reminded the people that the battle was not political but personal: The true king wanted to reign in their hearts first; then one day the king would return to reclaim his throne. In the meantime, the king’s true followers were to live as if the kingdom had already come. They were to live as citizens of the already, not-yet kingdom.

The man was killed by the opposition, but people began to believe that death was not the end for him. If death were conquered, in time the rest of their enemies would fall. The true king was on his way! People determined to live as citizens of the kingdom, spreading the healing, righteousness, and peace of their king even as they waited for his return.

Early one morning, they heard a trumpet and their hearts gave a leap. The king was coming! All the days of waiting, battling false kings, and working to spread the good news were finally over. The kingdom was no longer “not yet”; it was finally and forever here.

The story helps us to understand how God’s kingdom is both already here and yet to come. We have heard the rumors. We have been called to live as citizens of the true king. But we are waiting for that final moment when God’s kingdom comes in all its glory. The kingdom of God is spiritual and heavenly as well as physical and earthly. But the kingdom is not yet obvious and all-pervasive in human hearts or in political systems. As Christians, we pray for the strength to live as citizens of the true king, knowing that someday the kingdom of God will reign on earth as it does in heaven.

DIG DEEPER

The story goes that when unarmed Christian civil rights activists faced off with police officers, the activists called, “Come on over to the winning side.” They knew that “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice” (Martin Luther King, Jr., quoting a nineteenth-century abolitionist). Even when all seems dark in front of you, and you feel pressure to give in to the evil systems of this world—whether racism, consumerism, or substance abuse—know that the kingdom of God is greater. Which of your friends do you need to call over to the winning side?

Before I worked in a hospital in Cambodia, I did not realize how lucky I am to receive healthcare in America. I get yearly check-ups and learn about nutrition in school. A fever means I lie in bed for a day or two, eating saltines and drinking ginger ale. When I’m really sick, five top-of-the-line hospitals are within a ten-minute drive of my house.

Over the summer, I had the opportunity to practice in Cambodia the skills I have been learning in nursing school. Working with real, live patients, I not only learned more about nursing, but I also listened to their stories. I visited a slum outside of Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia, and talked with a woman who had recently lost her three-year-old daughter to a high fever. Her neighbors told similar stories about diarrhea. My heart broke over the huge loss caused by minor illnesses. Because homes are built over sewage and the people lack access to clean water, diseases that simply run their course in America are devastating in their environment.

The biggest difference I noticed between healthcare in America and in Phnom Penh is that patients wait until they are nearly dead to seek care. Americans tend to seek healthcare at the first sign of pain or illness, and they usually get regular physicals to catch any abnormalities before they are too serious to treat. In Cambodia, however, transportation from the provinces to the hospitals is difficult to find; so people wait until it is almost too late.

At times during my trip, the problems seemed overwhelming and the situation hopeless. I had to keep reminding myself to look not at the problems of an entire country but at the small steps I was taking to make a difference and at the care the hospital was providing. Not only does Sihanouk Hospital Center for Hope offer completely free healthcare, but it also sends mobile clinics out into the villages weekly to check in and to deliver medications and food. Medical teams make home visits to patients with HIV to deliver medicine and to offer encouragement. I found inspiration in the stories of women who used to be addicted to drugs but now are clean and are able to be good mothers because of the hospital’s care. I will be able to use their stories to give hope to other patients battling addictions.

After my experiences in Cambodia, I am convinced that faith in God has little to do with the circumstances in which people live. I met many people who were barely surviving, but they had enormous faith that God would provide for them. I was honored to be God’s hands and feet during my three weeks there.

DIG DEEPER

The people of Cambodia are not the only vulnerable population in the world; unfortunately, there are many. Do not let the enormity of the problems stop you from taking the first step. God is calling you to make a difference in another person’s life. In the words of Mother Teresa, “If you can’t feed a hundred people, then feed just one.” How will you respond?

Jesus, Job, Esther, Jeremiah, Daniel—who in the Bible teaches you about inner strength?

Never Give Up

Arthur Helps, a nineteenth century writer, said, “Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts, not amid joy.” When I hear the words inner strength, I think about Jesus’ dying on the cross. He could have chosen to avoid suffering, but he didn’t. He prayed, and God gave him strength to push through the agony and pain. I also think of Job, who lost his wealth, his children, and his health but remained faithful to God. In return, God restored his fortunes twice over (Job 42:10). These stories teach me that I can survive hard times if I reach out to God in trust and pray for inner strength.

—Chelsey Smith, 16

Taking Risks

King Xerxes of Persia banished his wife, Queen Vashti, and, after a long search, chose Esther to be his new wife and queen. At the time, Esther had no idea that God would call on her to show great strength.

When the lives of all the Jewish people were at stake, Mordecai, who had raised Esther, said to her, “Who knows? Perhaps you have come to royal dignity for just such a time as this” (Esther 4:14b, NRSV). Esther made a decision to go before the king, risking her life for her people.

Esther’s story reminds me that my life has purpose too. Like Esther, we have been chosen to give glory to God in our generation.

—Brittney McCook

Facing the Lions

When my mother died of cancer, I learned to pray faithfully, as Daniel did, and to hold on to God no matter what happened. (Read Daniel 6:1–28.) Daniel’s story helped me to face the lions that threatened my everyday life. And God continues to give me strength.

—Doug Rose

Too Young?

When God called Jeremiah to be a prophet, the young man made excuses: “I can’t be a prophet. I’m terrible at public speaking. My knees knock, my voice cracks, I forget my lines, and I sweat buckets. I’m too young to be a prophet.”

God’s response? “Don’t tell me you’re too young, Jeremiah. Do you think that I am not powerful enough to still your knees and to steady your voice? Am I too weak to aid your memory and dry your brow? I will be with you, Jeremiah. You will go, and you will speak the words that I place in your mouth.” (Read Jeremiah 1:1–19.)

When God calls you to do something, do you react with wild backpedaling and excuse-making? Know that God will give you the strength to accomplish God’s purposes.

—Leah Bryan, 19

DIG DEEPER

At times, the trials of life press so hard that we find ourselves at wit’s end, unable to move, speak, or act. During those times, God steps in. The Bible says that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. The weaker we are, the more God’s strength can work in us, empowering us to endure hardship when we should be completely broken. Often, we don’t even realize that God has given us strength until we look back on a situation and wonder how we ever made it through. Yet, as we rely on God’s strength, God renews ours. God allows us to catch our breath and refreshes us, giving us a second wind so that we can keep standing, keep fighting, and keep living. When we say, “I can’t take it anymore,” God says, “OK. I’ll take it from here.” What amazing love God has for us!

—Nakia Gater

Burma was taken over by a military junta in 1962. The junta drove adults and children from their homes and villages and into forced labor. When the United States recently decided to welcome refugees from Burma, many came to Nashville—some to our church.

“The first time I went to the apartments, I could feel God’s presence as never before,” says Sarah Kessen. “Later, I realized that what I had sensed was the strength God had given these people to survive all they have been through.”

During our play times, the children don’t talk about their experiences in Burma; but they seem to gain strength from being together with people who have had similar experiences.

“Both of us are awed by the strength of the children and their families,” says Sarah Miller. “We can’t imagine growing up in villages torn apart by violence.”

During one of our visits, one of the children drew a picture with a dog in it. When we asked about the dog, she said that she had a dog when she lived in Burma, but it was shot and killed during one of the conflicts. We were sad for her; and we felt awkward, not really knowing what to say.

The children and their families fled their homes to find shelter in refugee camps and finally left their country to come to the U. S., where they were suddenly surrounded by a new language and a new culture. How comforting it must be for them to find in their new home a community of people who have gone through the same frightening experiences.

Because God gave the refugees strength when they were especially vulnerable, they are able to be open with one another now. Their need for one another allows them to form a strong, supportive community and teaches us that there is strength in vulnerability.

We feel blessed by getting to know the people of the Golden Triangle Fellowship, by witnessing the strength that helps them endure circumstances we cannot even imagine, and by sensing God’s presence in their community. We have learned from them the truth of Philippians 4:13 (NRSV): “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

DIG DEEPER

Try this activity with another person at your church or in your youth group. (Choose someone you have met but do not know well.) Sit across from each other; and for two minutes, look at each other without speaking. It sounds easy, but knowing that someone is gazing at you makes you feel vulnerable. Next, take some time to talk about the experience and to get to know each other. Now the two of you have a shared experience that gives strength to your relationship. If you do this activity with several people, you will form a community from a shared experience of vulnerability.

Our culture seems obsessed with romantic relationships. Entertainment television and magazines report on who is dating whom in Hollywood, and we find ourselves caught up in the dating lives of people we’ve never met. Romantic comedies play out a predictable plot: Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Girl can’t stand boy. Boy woos girl. Girl eventually falls for boy. Everyone is happy. Or this variation: Boy and girl have been friends forever. Girl suddenly realizes she likes boy. Girl doesn’t want to tell boy because she’s afraid romance will ruin their friendship. Boy starts dating different girl. Girl can’t take it and tells boy how she feels. Surprise! Boy admits he feels the same. Boy and girl kiss. Everyone is happy.

Friendship to Romance

With a focus on romantic relationships, our culture has mostly ignored the possibility of healthy friendships between people of the opposite sex. When a boy and a girl enjoy each other’s company, dating isn’t automatically the next best step. Sometimes allowing time and space to grow in friendship is the most beautiful and anxiety-free way to discern if the relationship should naturally grow into romance.

Learning how to be a good friend to someone of the opposite sex is important in its own right, but it can also be a solid training ground for future romantic relationships. Anyone who has dated for a long time or is married will tell you that giddy romantic feelings of new love eventually fade away. If the relationship is not built on something more solid than physical attraction and intimacy, then both people will likely become dissatisfied and unhappy.

Scripture compares the relationship between God and the church with the relationship between a groom and bride. God loves the church and all God’s children who make up the church as a groom loves and treasures his bride. But before using the analogy of a romantic relationship, Jesus calls his disciples friends (John 15:15). Friendship with God in Christ Jesus is the primary relationship upon which the love between God and the church is built.

Friendship

One of my best friends is a guy named Scott. We have so much in common; and we love spending time together, talking, watching movies, and sometimes even shopping. We are attracted to one another in many ways, and some people have asked why we’re not dating. The answer to that question is simple: As our friendship grew, we had the freedom to get to know each other and to speak frankly and honestly, without the added complexity of romantic involvement. We were not worried about how we looked to one another or about physical boundaries that have to be considered in romantic relationships. As friends, we were open to hospitality and enjoyed spending time with other people. All in all, at this point in our relationship, friendship seems to be the best fit.

 No one teaches teenagers and soon-to-be young adults how to discern what is most appropriate for the different seasons in their relationships. Does liking someone always lead to dating? Should we spend more time developing a friendship before we even think about dating? What are the benefits of being just friends? These are questions worth considering.

Christ calls his disciples friends because by walking with him in ordinary circumstances and by sharing with him the ups and downs of life, they have come to know Jesus and to be known by him.

DIG DEEPER

Get together with a group of friends, both guys and girls. Watch the movie 84 Charing Cross Road. After the movie, talk about these questions:

• What seemed unusual about the relationship between the man and the woman?
• What kept their friendship alive and thriving?
• How did their friendship open up to hospitality?
• How would their relationship have been affected if they had become romantically involved?
• If you were asked to write a screenplay about a friendship between a guy and a girl, what would be your storyline? Whom would you choose as the lead actors? How would the movie end?

Read about the demon-possessed man and the pigs in Mark 5:1–20.

Let’s review: Jesus agrees to the demons’ request, damages the local economy, and doesn’t allow a ready and willing person to follow him. Really, Jesus?

It turns out that Jesus has things already figured out. At the end of the story, the townspeople have stopped worrying about their pigs and profits and have started listening in amazement to the healed man who was proclaiming how much Jesus had done for him.

Sometimes Jesus confuses us. But hang on. (That’s faith!) He’s up to something good.

PRAYER: Jesus, when you do something we don’t understand, help us to hang on, having faith that you are working for good behind the scenes. Amen.

I have been tempted by pornography for years. I first started looking at porn when I was 10 years old. I was watching TV late one night when a commercial advertising the porn industry flashed across the screen. Immediately, I logged on to the computer and looked up the ad. As always, one thing led to another; and before I knew it, I was addicted to porn. For five and a half years, I continued to look at porn every chance I got. I would sneak a peek early in the morning or late at night, when no one else was awake. Porn was controlling my life.

Not Alone

When I went to church camp for the first time, some of the speakers talked about their addiction to porn and how God helped them to get through it. Hearing their stories made me realize that I wasn’t alone, that God could help me too. They encouraged all of us, saying we could do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). Then the camp leaders prayed for anyone who was struggling with porn or with other addictions or temptations.

Finding hope at camp, I began to develop some habits that make it easier for me to walk away from temptation. Now, whenever I have the urge to look at porn, I listen to music, read my Bible, or pray. The desire to look at pornography gradually decreases and fades away.

Hope and Strength

Sadly, temptation will never go away completely. People will always have temptation of some kind in their life. Different things tempt different people, but we are all tempted by something. Yielding to temptation doesn’t mean that we are less worthy than others or that God loves us any less. It means that we’re human and we need help to get through life. It shows that we still have some growing to do in our life and faith.

As Christians, we have hope in the promise that God is always with us, no matter what we do or in what situations we find ourselves. Even when we feel all alone in our struggles, God is right beside us, waiting for us to ask for help. We simply have to admit that we can’t do it on our own and turn to God for the help we need. Even Jesus turned to God for help and strength when he was tempted. Jesus’ example assures us that, with God’s help, we can beat temptation.

DIG DEEPER

No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (NRSV)

PRAYER: Lord, you know the temptations I am facing today; and you promise that I will not be tempted beyond what I can bear. I ask for strength to stand against temptation. You also promise to provide a way out of temptation. Please, Lord, give me the wisdom to see this way out and the courage to take it. Thank you, Lord, for being a faithful deliverer in my time of need. Teach me always to turn to you. Amen.

REACH OUT FOR HELP: If you are struggling with temptation, go first to God. Then talk with a pastor, youth pastor, family member, or trustworthy friend who will pray with you, offer wise advice, and help you stand against temptation.

I went to the store and bought myself a can of soda and some bite-sized candy. (They’re not actually long enough to be called candy bars, are they?) Then I took my purchases home and pulled up some music on my computer. As I listened to several minute-and-a-half songs, I also watched a few two-minute videos of people falling down and babies laughing. At the same time, I was constantly receiving and responding to text messages from my friends. Wow! This is the life!

Our love affair with technology and other modern-day conveniences has conditioned us to live in a snack-sized culture. We rarely even notice that our lives are being served up in snippets and tweets.

Yet, strangely enough, our snacking behavior never satisfies. Food comes in sample sizes that hook us. Then we feel bad because we eat a whole bag of snack-sized candy. We spend hours watching silly YouTube videos or short cartoons on Adult Swim, and then we wonder what we did with our day.

A snack culture takes little investment. We don’t have to invest in a show, a story, or its characters. We don’t have to invest in a musician and his or her full body of work and talent. We don’t have to invest in people and all their troubles because we can continue to call them friends on a surface level of 140 character tweets, quick photos, and status updates. No wonder we feel lonely!

An Investment in People

Luke 19:1–10 tells the story of Zacchaeus. What the story omits is how much energy Jesus pours into building a relationship with Zacchaeus and being a guest in his home. In biblical times, being a guest required preparation and participation. Even if Jesus had Twitter or Facebook, I believe he would have chosen a face-to-face encounter rather than sending Zach a message to say that his household was forgiven.

Scenes of Jesus’ stopping and taking notice of individuals appear throughout the gospels. Count the personal interactions. Do they offer a clue about what is important in the way of following Christ?

Our snack-sized culture isn’t horrible, but it does have a negative impact on us. We sit alone in our rooms with our computers and bags of candy. We aren’t satisfied with snacking, and we’re lonely all by ourselves.

Following Jesus Christ means making an investment in the people and the ministries of God. Small nibbles do little to heal the world. Leaving our cell phones at home—with our instant access to the snippets of people’s lives—and spending time with real flesh-and-blood people is one way to practice the presence of Christ in our lives. It allows us to be genuine friends and to discover the depth of friendship. We can also spend time and energy on being present to God, creating space for listening to and having our hearts changed by God.

DIG DEEPER

• Today, tomorrow, and every day from then on, make a practice of having at least one meaningful conversation with another person. Sit down with a parent or sibling and talk about your deep concerns and joys. Visit a friend at home; spend some time with him or her—without a cell phone or computer to detract from the conversation. Talk with a teacher or coach; ask about his or her goals for you, the class, or the team.
• Look up “Holy Listening” online. Practice holy listening as a way of being with your friends and family.
• Search the scriptures. Read about some of the personal interactions Jesus had with people. Imagine how much time they spent together and what they talked about. Pray for strength and wisdom to see and act on opportunities to experience the presence of Christ in your life.

The Bible presents many images of God to help us understand the various ways we relate to God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Each image reveals an idea of who God is and how we can recognize and reflect God’s presence in the world.

Here are some of my favorite images of God and ways I can “do as God does” in my own life:

• Advocate (1 John 2:1). I will pray for others.
• Comforter (John 14:26, KJV). I will encourage others.
• Creator (Ephesians 3:10). I will think creatively, dream big dreams, take risks.
• Gentle Whisper (1 Kings 19:12, NIV). I will not force anyone to accept my beliefs but will let my life be an example.
• Light (John 8:12). I will live each day so that my faith is evident.
• Love (1 John 4:8). I will let love guide my decisions.
• Potter (Isaiah 64:8). I will live so that my life may shape the lives of others in positive ways.
• Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6). I will strive to get along with everybody.
• Rock (1 Corinthians 10:4). I will stand firm when tempted.
• Servant (Isaiah 42:1). I will care for my neighbor and serve those in need.
• Vine (John 15:5). I will let my faith intertwine with all other areas of my life.

Do as God does. After all, you are his dear children.
Ephesians 5:1 (CEV)

In the beginning, God formed human beings in God’s image. Genesis 1:27 (NRSV) tells us: “So God created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

What a privilege for us to bear a resemblance to our heavenly father! God wanted to create human beings with hearts and minds like God’s, capable of thoughts and feelings like God’s. However, as I go through my everyday life, I forget that the people I meet are made by God and for God, that people are sacred because they bear the image of God.

New Reality International

My trip to Haiti with New Reality International brought to the forefront of my mind the idea that all people bear the image of God. New Reality started when my sister Laila and I talked about wanting to take seriously Jesus’ prayer: “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10b, NRSV). Our first efforts were medical trips to Guatemala. Laila and her husband Joel, who is a dentist, came back from the first trip sick with worms but filled with joy, knowing that they were doing God’s will. We continued to step out in faith whenever we saw an opportunity, and God gave us more opportunities. The earthquake in Haiti created an immediate need. We had already been to Haiti with dental teams and knew how to get into the country and to respond. Doctors from around the world wanted to volunteer and partnered with us. New Reality International has served more than 13,000 patients through dental, surgical, and general medical care.

Seeing God

On a trip shortly after the earthquake, I befriended a little boy with a big smile. He was dirt poor and limping from a recent injury. At first, I felt sorry for him; but as I spent more time with him, I saw God in this little boy. I saw God’s spirit in his loving attitude, despite his circumstances. I saw God’s grace in the way he raised his little hands to worship while enduring physical pain. I saw God’s promise in his beautiful eyes, filled with hope. I keep in my heart an image of the little boy. I learned from him that circumstances, poverty, physical disabilities, and injuries can’t put out the light of God in people.

Now as I go to the grocery store, the movies, or the park, I search for God in the faces of everyone I see. Every single person is created by God and bears the mark of God’s handiwork. Since my trip to Haiti, I’ve looked for God in all people, no matter who they are or what their circumstances might be.

I wrote the song “I See God in You” without knowing the true power of its message. Now I understand that seeing the image of God in others is at the core of being a true follower of Christ. God created each of us with care. I’m sure God is pleased when we recognize and treat one another as God’s valuable creations. God created human beings in God’s image. We have the privilege of interacting with God through everyone we meet.

DIG DEEPER

Write down the names of five people in whom you’ve seen God. Find creative ways to let them know. Consider writing a note or dedicating the song “I See God in You” to them.

Then write down the names of a few people in whom you struggle to see God. Ask God to show you how to pray for them. Know that when you love them and serve them, you are doing the same for Jesus.

I also invite you to submit photographs and stories to the blog “I See God in You” and let them be a light to others.

Read this in your room. Seriously. Go to your room, and imagine that it is half the size it is now. Then imagine trying to fit all the things you currently own into your new room. Not possible? Imagine giving away half of your things.

Next, consider fitting your half-sized room into a new house, which costs half the price of your current home. Imagine your whole family reducing excess possessions—cars, gadgets, clothing—and giving away the extra money.

Hannah Salwen and her family don’t need to imagine this scenario. In 2006, when she was fourteen years old, Hannah’s family sold their two-million-dollar mansion in Atlanta, bought a smaller home, and gave the extra money to charity.

Two Worlds Collide

The decision to start giving up their possessions didn’t just happen; it was a conscious decision. The idea started with a Mercedes and a beggar.

One day, when Hannah was riding in the car with her father and her brother, they stopped at an intersection where homeless people often asked for money. Hannah was struck by the juxtaposition of a homeless man on one side of their car and a Mercedes convertible on the other side. She could not help but think that if the guy driving the Mercedes downsized his expensive car and used the extra money to help the poor, then the man begging for money would have enough to eat. For Hannah, it was that simple.

When Hannah’s mother, Joan, challenged the family to sell their home and donate the money, Hannah realized that the stranger in the Mercedes was not the only one who could live on less; her family did not need nearly as much as they owned.

Half Means More

In the book The Power of Half, Hannah and her father Kevin, a former reporter and editor for the Wall Street Journal, tell their story. They talk about how the decision to reduce their home by half not only enabled them to help the poor but also enriched their lives.

They describe the process of purging their belongings—both the joys and hardships they encountered in giving up their things, explaining their decision to family and friends, and deciding how to give away their money. They speak of how this decision allowed them to be present through monetary gifts and personal visits to the people they felt called to serve—people in a small village in Ghana.

Besides being present to the people of Ghana, the Salwens discovered that giving up their belongings helped them to be present to one another. In a smaller space, their lives collided more often. By sharing a vision, they learned to communicate. And they discovered that with less stuff, they had fewer distractions and more time to spend with one another. “What family wouldn’t trade stuff for togetherness?” Kevin asks in the book.

For the Salwens, reducing their material wealth resulted in a much richer family life. They would never want to go back to life as it was before.

DIG DEEPER

Kevin and Hannah quote the philosopher Khalil Gibran: “You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.”

Throughout the book, Hannah suggests activities and practices that will help you to reduce the “presents” in your life and to practice presence. One idea is a gratitude letter.

Write a letter thanking someone who has been present in your life. Begin by making a list of what the letter’s recipient has given you. How many of these things and experiences have a price tag? How many are priceless?

]]> http://devozine.upperroom.org/articles/the-power-of-half/feed/ 0 http://devozine.upperroom.org/articles/loving-neighbors/ http://devozine.upperroom.org/articles/loving-neighbors/#comments Mon, 21 Jan 2013 14:26:27 +0000 Melanie http://devozine.upperroom.org/?post_type=articles&p=5306

James Barnett never imagined that he would be homeless; yet for two years, he slept on the streets with the poor—by choice. It was the only response to his faith that seemed to make sense.

“To me, the only rational response to a God who says, ‘Give up everything and follow me,’ is to give up everything and follow him,” James said.

So he did.

The Beginning

James grew up in a Christian home. Throughout high school and college, he attended church, did service work, and went on mission trips. James was a good guy and felt that he was doing what he was supposed to do to be a good Christian. After college, James found a good job with a six-figure salary. But somewhere in the mix of well-paid work and good deeds, James realized that something was missing.

The Turning Point

James called up a buddy who was taking a mission trip and asked if he could tag along. He had never left the U. S. before he set foot in Nicaragua and looked poverty in the face. In Nicaragua, James met Mrs. Ruby, a Jamaican prophetess who lived in a dump with the city’s poor. Before James left, Mrs. Ruby prayed over him, saying these words he has never forgotten: “Child, the Lord wants you to know that you haven’t been obedient.”

At first, James was angry. He was a good person. How had he not been obedient?

Mrs. Ruby spoke again. “My child,” she said calmly, “your obedience isn’t defined by what you don’t do, but by what you do for the world God loves.”

Suddenly, James began to realize the difference between admiring Christ and following him. He could admire Christ by not living a bad life, but he could follow Christ only by taking seriously Jesus’ commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31).

The Journey

Not long after he got home from Nicaragua, James quit his job and sold everything he owned. He bought a van and went out onto the streets to live among the poor. For two years, he traveled from city to city to love the people the world overlooks. Sometimes he found himself in dangerous situations; but time and time again, he felt the Lord’s voice leading him and protecting him.

A Gift

It rained the first week James spent on the streets. As he handed out ponchos to people who were wet and cold, a homeless man pointed to an alleyway and told James to follow him. Nervous, James hesitated; but he sensed a voice saying, “Go. Trust in my peace.” The man led James to a men’s restroom. They went inside and found a circle of homeless people gathered against the wall. The man turned to James. “I noticed your socks were wet,” he said reaching out toward a hand dryer. “This is how we stay warm and dry our socks. I wanted to give something to you.”

James looked at him, amazed. This was the start of the journey. James had set out to give to the poor, never realizing that the Lord would use the poor to give to him.

Clothe Your Neighbor as Yourself

When James was on the streets he gave out shirts and socks to the homeless. When he ran out of supplies, he raised money for more by designing T-shirts and selling them to his friends and family. He does the same thing today but on a bigger scale. In 2010, his organization, Clothe Your Neighbor as Yourself, became an official non-profit organization. Its mission is to take seriously Jesus’ commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” and to do something about it.

DIG DEEPER

What will you do in response to Jesus’ call to “follow me”? How will you love your neighbor? It’s simple: Go to http://cyny.storenvy.com. Buy a T-shirt. Then go to http://cyny.org/thebrigadeproject/ and designate how the proceeds from your order will be used to help someone in your local community. For example, you may choose to provide baby clothes for an impoverished new mom or interview clothes for a person who is homeless. CYNY will ship the requested clothing items to you so that you can hand deliver them to your neighbor. The goal is to equip you to help your neighbors in need while sporting a stylish T-shirt of your own.

Want to get your youth group involved with CYNY as donors or clothing distributors? Email James at info@cyny.org for details. Your group may receive a discount code when it joins the movement.

I was taught to put my best foot forward, which I still think is good advice. As the old adage goes: You never get a second chance to make a first impression. I want to be careful about the first impression I make. On the other hand, for a lot of people, image is everything. Instead of putting their best foot forward, they’re trying to put forward a foot that isn’t theirs.

Busted

Scott Thompson, former CEO of Yahoo, lied on his resume about having a degree in computer science. A competitor blew the whistle, leading to Thompson’s resignation only four months after he landed the job. Janet Cooke won a Pulitzer Prize for a Washington Post story about an eight-year-old heroin addict; she lost the prize two days later when someone discovered she had made up the story. Lieutenant Commander Richard Byrd won a medal for flying over the North Pole. Seventy years later, a historian discovered that he ran out of fuel and never made it.

Little White Lies

Most of these folks probably didn’t start out telling big lies. I would guess they began with smaller ones, like the little lies most of us tell. In a Common Sense Media poll, more than half the teenagers surveyed admitted to academic cheating that involved the Internet. More than a third admitted to using their cell phone to cheat on tests.

Penn State University researchers report that 98% of teenagers lie to their parents, either directly by making untrue statements or indirectly by avoiding issues or omitting information. Teenagers lie to avoid unfavorable consequences but also to avoid disappointing their parents. Kids care about the image their parents see.

Big Brother Watching

When Spotify integrated with Facebook, people began to spin the truth about their music tastes. In an effort to control their image, instead of simply putting their best foot forward, they were creating an artificial foot—one whose taste in music was more in vogue.

Researchers in England found that people put almost three times as much money in an honesty box when a nearby poster featured a pair of eyes rather than flowers. The sense of being watched encouraged a greater level of honesty.

Inside Out

Jesus’ harshest words were reserved for religious people who had perfected the art of putting forward the perfect image while neglecting their internal character. He calls them “hypocrites” and “whitewashed tombs” (Matthew 23:27, NIV), pointing to the disparity between what was visible to others and what was in their hearts.

Nothing is wrong with paying attention to the image we project, wanting to be well-liked or to have a good reputation. After all, “a good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold” (Proverbs 22:1, NRSV). The trick is to make sure the image we project represents who we truly are. Instead of focusing on cleaning up our image, perhaps we should ask God to help clean up our character. Then our image will fall into place.

DIG DEEPER

Matthew 23:23–33 is a series of admonitions against religious people who are more concerned about their outward appearance of righteousness than about their true character. If Jesus were talking to you, what would he criticize? What is the difference between the image you project and the real you?

Ask the Holy Spirit to remove any defect of character that stands in the way of your relationship with God. Then begin to pay attention to God’s guidance in the little decisions of daily life. Allow the Holy Spirit to bring forth the person God sees in you.

 Are you genuine, or are you a fake? Take this quiz to find out!

1. My friends’ opinions differ from mine; I . . .

            a. keep quiet.

            b. say that I agree with them.

            c. state my own opinion.

2. When I’m at a party, I . . .

            a. stay in the background.

            b. imitate other people at the party.

            c. can be myself.

3. My friends are going to see a movie I don’t want to see. I . . .

            a. tell them I have too much homework.

            b. go and hope the movie is better than I expect.

            c. go to the theater, watch a different movie, and meet them afterward.

4. Members of the yearbook committee are laying out the faculty page. They have something rude to say about most of the teachers. I . . .

            a. remember the funnier comments to tell my friends later.

            b. make up nicknames for each of the teachers.

            c. tell jokes that are funny but don’t demean anyone.

5. The popular kids at school invite me to a party at the beach; there will be drinking.  I . . .

            a. tell them I know my dad will say no.

            b. decide to go but not to drink.

            c. plan a different activity for the same night.

6. A friend has a copy of last year’s history final. He suggests that everyone study together, using the old test. It sounds like cheating to me. I . . .

            a. say that I have other plans the night they are studying.

            b. study with them; it’s the only way I’ll pass the test.

            c. tell them I’ll take my chances studying on my own.

7. People at my lunch table say that Christians are hypocrites. They ask me what I think. I . . .

            a. tell them that no one is perfect.

            b. tell them that people can believe whatever they want to believe.

            c. tell them that Christianity is about Jesus, not people. People mess up, but Jesus doesn’t.

How Did You Do?

Mostly As? You don’t exactly lie about who you are, but you aren’t true to yourself either. Remaining quiet lets others think you agree with them even when you don’t. Speak up for yourself more often.

Mostly Bs? You let others dictate what you say and do. Be the person God made you to be. You may be surprised how interested your friends will be when you express your true feelings and beliefs.

Mostly Cs? You’re confident in who you are, what you like, and what you believe. You’re not afraid to stand up for yourself. You know that your true friends will like you even if you disagree with them.

DIG DEEPER

Psalm 139:14a (NIV) says, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” What can you do that will help you become the person God created you to be? Write in your journal a list of ideas, and make a commitment to follow through on one of them in the next month.

Every day our naming of the people around us gives life and takes it away.

I can still feel the impact of a highly musical friend who one day called me “musical.” No one else had ever called me “musical.” I didn’t play an instrument. I was no soloist.

What made his comment so remarkable was that I instantly felt known and loved. Why? Because I was being named in the way that always matters most: from the inside out.

The musicality of my life, as invisible and yet fundamental as it is, has to do with my soul, not with instruments. It’s about my way of being in the world, not about playing notes. The sheer, unexpected grace of being named “musical” stunned me. My friend named me in a way that noticed and appreciated something deeply true about me, even though it is usually missed.

Being rightly named means being truly known. It changes our lives.

Embedded in our works and in our actions are the names we give to and receive from others. Nods of recognition, glances of curiosity, looks of compassion, signs of paying attention—all build us up. “Hey bud,” “good job,” “I noticed,” “thank you,” and “join us” are little names that matter. When positive words and actions combine, such naming actually makes a life.

First Names

God created by naming: “Let there by light” (Genesis 1:3a, NRSV) and “Let us make humankind in our image” (Genesis 1:26a, NRSV).

In turn, the first human beings named with unflinching instinct. Adam said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23a, NRSV).

The first job God gave us was to name the creatures around us. Naming is as primary to being made in God’s image as almost anything else we might, well, name. Naming carries with it our peculiar capacity for relationship and our potential to perceive, acknowledge, and affirm personal identity and worth. “Love” names us rightly.

Yet right from the start our capacity for rightly naming included the freedom to misname. “Did God really say . . .” are words that rename God’s intent. “This at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh” easily becomes “The woman you gave me.”

Such misnaming reveals that things have changed. When “brother” becomes a label, there’s no longer a reason to be his keeper (Genesis 4:1-16). A tower holds aspirations of a name—privileged and proud (Genesis 11:1–9). Misnaming misidentifies who we are and our relation to others. The tragic consequences are everywhere.

Misnaming

Power can be measured by our capacity to give names that stick. Middle school teaches us this, if nothing else. If we carry the wrong name given us by a powerful voice at a vulnerable moment, we can be crippled.

Every time the church gathers in worship, we gather as those bearing names not our own: “inadequate,” “rich,” “failure,” “together,” “bad parent,” “fat.” We can be deluded or oppressed by the naming and misnaming we experience and perpetrate on others.

Suffering, individually and collectively, intensifies when it’s wrongly named. Our world is wracked with injustice as we, God’s treasured creatures, misname God, misname ourselves, and misname our neighbor. This abuse of power is our undoing.

In Christ: New Names

At my church’s annual leadership retreat, I always introduce new leaders, not with a description of their activities or their work but with a more intimate and personal honoring of why I see them as treasured gifts. When I first began this practice and people came up in tears afterward to express what my comments had meant to them, it was clear that naming matters more than I could have guessed. . . . Yes, naming can give life.

Years ago in India, people in the higher castes would call dalits, or “untouchables,” derogatory names, such as “ugly,” “dung,” or “stupid,” to reinforce their inferiority. Imagine the powerful transformation when an untouchable discovered that in Jesus Christ, God came to earth as a dalit (an extraordinary shock of rightly naming God) and that God has the power to rename him or her: “chosen,” “holy,” “beloved.” *

“Behold, all things are new.” Indeed!

As Christians, ours is a vocation of naming. By God’s grace, our calling is to live into our own real names as we help others to discover theirs so that they, in turn, can live and name the people and the world around them. In this way, what has been “lost” is “found” and those who are “blind” may “see.”

When we live this way, we participate in “doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly before our God” (see Micah 6:8). What else is required by the One we name Lord?

DIG DEEPER

Think about the names you have called others. Did they give life or take it away?

Now think about the names you have been called. In what ways have they given you life? How have they crippled you? Read Micah 4:5, Philippians 2:9–10, and 1 John 3:1–3. What are God’s names for you? for the people you don’t like? What does it mean to walk in God’s name?

For Caleb Perry, the journey from tagging trains to painting for the Lord is summed up in his new alias: Jesus frees us.

Early Years

Growing up, Caleb had lots of freedom to experiment. His mom was very creative; his dad spent years in and out of jail. Although his mom raised him to go to church, Caleb was a troubled teenager. Abusing and selling drugs, he found more than his share of trouble.

The Journey

Caleb lived to hang out and party. He got into trouble at home, at school, and at work. School became drudgery, and he dropped out. His relationships suffered, including his relationship with God.

One of Caleb’s favorite illegal activities was graffiti. He and his friends successfully tagged as many trains and buildings as they could while running from the police.

Defining Moment

One night, Caleb crashed an outdoor party, where he used massive amounts of alcohol and drugs. What followed was so frightening he thought he was dying. He heard voices crying out from Hell and saw monstrous creatures reaching out to claw him. Running to escape them, he stumbled through a nearby field. Certain that death was imminent, Caleb cried out to God for help. Suddenly, he saw “a huge, glorious vision of Christ on the cross,” which afforded him a sense of “complete and instant understanding: This was why Christ died for my sins.” Standing there under the stars, Caleb begged for forgiveness. His conversion did not bring instant relief, but Caleb knew that God was with him.

Growing in Faith

After surviving the party, Caleb told his mom what had happened. Now a chaplain who had prayed for a long time that God would guide Caleb, his mom was ecstatic. His friends, however, were not so enthusiastic. They mocked him and refused to listen to his constant talk about Jesus.

Over the next few years, Caleb struggled to turn his life around. He looked for a creative outlet to express his faith.

Caleb knew that his friends loved graffiti, so why not share his faith through painting? God can speak to people in many different ways—even through graffiti. This art form has become a way for Caleb to serve and praise the Lord.

Graffiti as Art

Caleb believes that Christian graffiti, when painted legally, can carry an important message to kids growing up as he did. He encourages Christian artists to use graffiti as a means to reach people with the good news of God’s love.

Illegal graffiti is painted hurriedly in dark alleys, at three in the morning, while the artists are running from the cops. When painting is done legally, Caleb explains, graffiti artists not only get permission—they garner respect and are often referred to other people and businesses. They have time to nurture their art, without rushing; and in the daylight hours, they can admire their art as it takes shape.

Many graffiti artists scoff at legal work and feel the true art form is illegal. Caleb thinks people who paint illegally get their thrills by breaking the law. Their painting is not about art. True artists, however, want their work to be seen and admired. Illegal graffiti artists hide behind their aliases and are afraid of anyone discovering their identity. Caleb’s art has expanded to commercial businesses, residential garages, home interiors, and church buildings. Many people now recognize his alias and appreciate his creative streak.

Caleb tells other artists that his previous painting was all about him. His needs were more important than his message. Now Jesus’ message takes priority. Caleb’s faith is strong today; and he loves to proclaim God’s love. “Doing art for God gives me a nice time to be with the Lord. He speaks to me, and I get ideas about how to improve. It is my way of having some one-on-one time with Jesus,” he says.

When Caleb meets illegal graffiti artists, he asks them what they are saying with their art. He seizes every opportunity both to teach them techniques and to lead them by example. Above all, he challenges them to change their lives and their art to deliver a message of hope and truth.

Art Appreciation

Life has changed for Caleb. He completed his high school education and graduated from a technical school where he majored in graphic art. For some people, graffiti for Jesus might not seem as cool as illegal street art. Caleb stresses that his art is out there where people can see it and appreciate it. His art is getting Jesus’ message out, and his alias says it all: Jesus frees us.

DIG DEEPER

Read Philippians 2:13. How is God working through your creative streak, “enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (NRSV)?

PRAYER: God, use my creativity to proclaim the message of Jesus Christ. Amen.

]]> http://devozine.upperroom.org/articles/graffiti-art/feed/ 0 http://devozine.upperroom.org/articles/living-artistically/ http://devozine.upperroom.org/articles/living-artistically/#comments Mon, 07 Jan 2013 14:25:46 +0000 Melanie http://devozine.upperroom.org/?post_type=articles&p=5289

Because we are made in the image of God, our Creator, every one of us is creative. However, we may get lost in the mystique of art—its numerous definitions, styles, techniques, and even its perceived elitism. What about us average people? Our lives are swallowed up in the everyday, and we often only dream of expressing ourselves. Can we too be creative?

Creative expression is a perspective as well as a choice. It calls for putting aside the “if only” and choosing to focus on what is. So how do we begin to live creatively? We recognize our talents or creative urges and begin to express them in everyday situations. Find your talent or interest and put it to work:

• Music. How about singing in a church choir or a community chorus, writing a song, playing an instrument, or singing along with your favorite album?
• Food. Plan meals and cook for the family, cook your way through a cookbook, pack and deliver lunches to the local homeless shelter, take a cooking class, or learn to can fruits and vegetables.
• Gardening. Would you enjoy growing plants or flowers, tending a garden plot in your backyard, creating an herb garden, working with a local farmer, or designing a bonsai garden?
• Interior Decorating. How about designing and decorating your room with thrift-store accessories, helping friends and family choose paint colors, sewing curtains, or making or restoring a piece of furniture?
• Drama. Put your talent to work by telling Bible stories in Sunday school or VBS, volunteering at your local theatre, participating in or organizing a church drama group, putting on puppet shows for children in the local hospital, or writing and performing spoken word poetry.
• Fashion Design. Design and make your own clothes, organize a fashion show, participate in a clothing exchange, or create your wardrobe for the year using only second-hand clothes.
• Writing. Start writing by keeping a journal. Write notes, letters, poetry, stories based on the Bible, or Sunday school curriculum for your church. And of course, write for devozine!

DIG DEEPER

First Corinthians 10:31b (NIV) says, “Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” Whatever your talents or creative interests may be, the challenge is to restore creativity to everyday situations so that in all circumstances of our lives, we reflect our Creator.

Years ago, I was inspired by a young man. He never owned a car. He never went to a movie. I’m not aware that he ever went to a dance, but maybe he did. He didn’t go to college. He had close friends, but I don’t think he had a girlfriend. He worshiped God regularly but never claimed to be a Christian. So why was I inspired?

He had a magnetic personality but never used it to exploit people. He loved people and accepted them for who they were. He paid special attention to the disabled and to people who were going through tough times. He would do anything for anybody. What he said made sense, and he spoke in a way that held my attention. He followed up his words with action. He was genuine—or dinkum, as we say in Australia.

Many of the people who heard [Jesus] were amazed and asked, “How can he do all this? Where did he get such wisdom and the power to work these miracles? Isn’t he the carpenter, the son of Mary? Aren’t James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon his brothers? Don’t his sisters still live here in our town?”
Mark 6:2b–3a (CEV)

He still inspires me. His words give purpose to my life. His teachings and his life of love guide my interaction with others. I want to be more like him, so I will keep following him. His name is Jesus.

Chances are that this Christmas, one of the gifts under your tree was an MP3 player, a video game, or an iTunes gift card. Much of what we do for entertainment is related to electronic gadgetry. In fact, nearly every aspect of our lives, from homework to housekeeping, is connected in some way to digital media.

The Medium Is the Message

Have you heard the phrase “The medium is the message”? Marshall McLuhan, who coined the phrase in his book Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man, proposed that the technology we use and the way we use it changes our lives more than the content it carries. So what you’re seeing on the Internet is not influencing you nearly as much as the fact that you are using the Internet in the first place. Make sense?

My point in bringing up this idea is that technology totally affects the way we see the world, ourselves, even God. This is especially true, I think, of the telephone.

Phoning It In

In the world before the telephone, people could not speak to one another without being physically close. If they wanted to communicate with their voices, they had to get close enough so that the listener could actually hear what the speaker said. Think about how our lives changed when the telephone arrived. With the phone, we could speak to people we could not see, people who were far away.

The telephone changed our world. One of the changes was the way in which many Christians understood prayer. Because they could not see the God to whom they prayed, they began to think of prayer as a telephone call. And if prayer was like a phone call, the person praying must be speaking to a God who was far away.

The Christmas story confronts this idea head on.

Emmanuel

In the Gospel of Matthew, an angel appears to Joseph and tells him that Mary is pregnant by the power of the Holy Spirit. Joseph is to name the child Jesus, which means “God saves.” Matthew 1:22–23 (NRSV) explains: “All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: ‘Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,’ which means ‘God is with us.’”

Emmanuel as a name for Jesus highlights what God is doing at Christmas: God is coming near to us. From the covenant with Abraham to the Exodus to the Temple in Jerusalem, God had been moving toward people, inviting them into relationship. In Jesus, God takes “moving toward people” up a notch with the ultimate divine-human partnership: the Incarnation. That’s what Christmas is all about: God draws near and partners with people to heal the world. Christmas is the beginning of the fulfillment of promises made to Abraham and Israel. But we can miss the point if we think that the God we love is far away.

DIG DEEPER

This Christmas season, remember the world before the invention of the telephone. Remember and celebrate that God is with us, close enough to hear us when we pray. Then pray The Lord’s Prayer; and as you pray these words that Jesus taught us, remember that we are asking to join God in healing the world by helping to bring in God’s kingdom and to make life on earth a little closer to what it is in heaven.

A wet glob of clay becomes an intricate vase or a lovely bowl. A potter has the incredible job of transforming, of taking an ordinary substance and creating something beautiful and useful. Jeremiah 18:6b says that we are like clay in God’s hands. God shapes us and transforms us.

Centered

After preparing the clay, the potter centers it on the wheel, applying pressure to make the wobbling clay settle down. The clay is centered when it is still, resting in the potter’s hands, even as the wheel turns.

How do we become centered and still in God’s hands, even when everything around us is spinning? With school, sports, friends, and activities, we rarely slow down. Yet it is moments of quiet reflection and times of prayer that make us clay God can mold. We need times of stillness so that the Potter can center us.

Shaped

Once the clay is centered on the wheel, the potter uses a thumb or fingers to create an opening and to hollow out the base of the pot. Then, by pinching and lifting the clay, the potter gives the clay shape. Walls form, and the cylinder stretches upward.

Our lives grow and take shape as the Potter works with us. God’s hands form us through the daily challenges of life: the test we’ve been dreading all week, the friend who needs our encouragement, the sister who borrowed a favorite sweater again. We can harden our hearts in frustration, or we can let God mold us with hands of love. As we learn to look to God for grace and strength, we are stretched and shaped into the people we were created to be.

Fired

Going through fire is part of becoming. The hours of firing at high temperatures in a kiln make the piece durable. Without this step, the pot doesn’t hold water. Intense heat transforms the clay so that the pot can be used.

The heat gets turned up in our lives too. Intense pressure and difficult struggles test our faith. We are tempted to follow the crowd or to doubt God’s presence. We find ourselves in troubled relationships. Going through the fire isn’t easy. Given a choice, we would probably say, “No, thanks.” Yet just as the firing process makes the clay strong and useful, our times of testing strengthen us and prepare us for God’s purposes.

Ready

Once the potter has fired the piece, glazed it, and fired it again, the creation is ready to be used. It is beautiful and strong, a unique reflection of the potter’s creativity. As we are molded by God, lovingly stretched and shaped, strengthened by the fire of testing, and filled with God’s Spirit, we too become unique, beautiful creations, designed for good purposes.

Ordinary people in the hands of the Potter become vessels that hold the precious treasure of God’s Spirit (2 Corinthians 4:7). Amazing, isn’t it?

DIG DEEPER

Which part of the process describes your life right now? Is God asking you to be still and centered? Are you being stretched and shaped or put through the fire? Can you imagine yourself being filled with God’s Spirit and used for good purposes? Spend a few minutes writing in your journal. Then rest in the Potter’s hands, knowing that you are God’s beautiful creation.

Remember Who You Are

• Created in God’s image. Genesis 1:26–31

• Knit together by God’s hands. Psalm 139:13–18

• Nurtured by God’s love. Hosea 11:1–4

• Molded by obedience. Luke 2:21–24, 39–52

• Strengthened by the Body of Christ. Ephesians 4:1–16, 22–24
• Nourished in faith. 1 Timothy 4:6–16

The days to Christmas were winding down, and I still had not finished my father’s Christmas gift. I was almost eight. I wanted to make something grand and beautiful; and this year, I wanted to make all my gifts by myself.

I went digging in my mother’s drawer and found a pair of white pantyhose. As soon as I spied them, I knew exactly what I would make. I found other old nylons and leftover fabric. I folded each leg in half, made a few awkward stitches to keep them in place, and stuffed the upper legs. I filled the top and sewed up the waistband. To make the face, I copied the eyes, flat nose, and big teeth of my stuffed rabbit.

Then I held up my gift for inspection. Even at that point, I think I knew how ugly it was. When my brother and sister caught sight of it, they howled. They held their bellies and almost fell on the floor with laughter. Seeing the gift through their eyes, I felt shame and dismay.

Their amusement had not passed by Christmas morning, but at least they contained themselves in our parents’ presence. When I brought out my gift, I expected peels of laughter or at least a muffled chuckle. To my surprise, my father took the rabbit and expressed his appreciation with genuine love and gratitude. He didn’t gush over it in an unrealistic way or pretend it was something it wasn’t. He just thanked me and told me he would use it as a pillow on the bed to hold his hankies. My brother and sister sat quietly, their laughter stuck in their throats.

A kind of miracle took place that Christmas morning. My shame and dread washed away; I felt nothing but relief and gratitude. I knew I was blessed. My father’s love had transformed my ugly rabbit into a gift worthy of his appreciation. The way he saw it, not the way it looked, had made it beautiful.

I believe that God is like my father. God takes what we give; and with love, God turns it into something of great value and worth. I believe that what the world considers ugly is blessed and redeemed under the gracious eye of God. The rabbit I made for my father that Christmas reminds me that I am acceptable in the sight of God, that my gifts are worthy of God’s attention, and that my talents come to a good end not because of my own abilities or talents but only by the power of God’s goodness. By God’s grace and love, I can call myself a child of God and a follower of Jesus Christ.

DIG DEEPER

Reflect on this stanza from the Christmas carol “In the Bleak Midwinter”:

What can I give him, poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd, I would bring a lamb;
If I were a Wise Man, I would do my part;
Yet what I can I give him: give my heart.

What gift can you give to the Christ child this Christmas? Remember: When given in love, God takes our gifts—no matter how imperfect—and transforms them into something of worth and value.

Christina Rossetti was a nineteenth-century poet who wrote “In the Bleak Midwinter.” Unlike other Christmas carols, full of joy and celebration, this one describes a winter world that at first seems hopeless. Bitter winds, falling snow, frozen earth and water hardly provide a hospitable place for an infant Savior.

Christina struggled with hopelessness. As a teenager, she felt every emotion deeply and suffered a nervous breakdown at the age of fifteen. Her poetry reflects a sense of disconnection from the world and a longing to be reconnected.

          I have no wit, no words, no tears;

               My heart within me like a stone

          Is numb’d too much for hopes or fears;

               Look right, look left, I dwell alone.*

At the same time, Christina was a devout Christian. She believed that one day God would heal her brokenness and restore the world. Death would not have the last word.

My life is like a frozen thing,

               No bud nor greenness can I see:

          Yet rise it shall—the sap of Spring;

               O Jesus, rise in me.*

Even in the dark winter of her soul, Christina knew that Spring was coming. (Notice the capital S indicating something more than just another season.) The winter of sin, sadness, and death does not last forever. Our hope is in the promise of resurrection, that one day we will rise to new life with Jesus, never to die again.

Hope that Never Fails

We talk a lot about hope during the holidays. “I hope I get the present I’ve been wanting.” “I hope it snows on Christmas Eve.” “I hope my parents get along.” Often our hopes are disappointed. But Christian hope is quite different.

Read Romans 5:3–5. Our hope is not in transient things—weather, relationships, material objects—because they will disappoint us. Rather, our hope is grounded in God’s eternal, unfailing love, which does not disappoint.

Think of Mary, pregnant and drawing near to her delivery. Delivery, like deliverance, is a kind of salvation. Mary knew that she would be delivered, that all the hard work of pregnancy would end and a child, a new life, would come into the world. But Mary had an even greater hope based on God’s promise: “The Lord is with you” (Luke 1:28b, NRSV). No matter what happened, Mary knew God would be with her; and she put her hope in the promise of God, grounded in God’s love.

Like the promise of spring after a long, dark winter, like the promise of resurrection after death, this hope never fails. How can you put your hope in God’s unfailing love this Christmas?

DIG DEEPER

Make two lists, one of wishes, another of hopes. Make a list of what you wish for this Christmas. Do you wish for a new game system, fashionable clothes, a fight-free Christmas dinner with your family? Then make a list of what you hope—for instance: The Apostles’ Creed says that we believe in “the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting.” These statements are hopes based on God’s promises and grounded in God’s love.

As you pray during this Christmas season, focus on hopes rather than wishes. After all, hope in God’s love does not disappoint!

Last week, God gave me an idea for a song. The idea came as I was thinking about the Israelites’ marching around the walls of Jericho, singing, shouting, and making all sorts of noise to make God’s promises known. I didn’t understand why God would want me to write a song about Jericho; but as I started digging into the song, I discovered that this Bible story applied to me more than I had thought.

We are called to sing praises to God no matter what. One line of the song says, “This is the time of our Jericho,” which means that this is our chance to break down the walls that separate us from God and to be unashamed about singing our praises. I believe God is calling us to trust the promises and to find joy in lifting our voices to the Lord.

—Dale Lipscomb, 22

Finding My Way

I wrote this song during a rough patch in my life, knowing that faith in Christ was the only thing that could save me.

What are you saying?
What does this mean?
The more I keep praying,
everything becomes more obscene.

My life is a wreck;
my heart is in pieces.
I’m just a tiny speck;
I’m disappearing in the creases.

Every time that I think
we’re beginning to get close,
my heart starts to sink,
and I feel you oppose.

I don’t like this game.
The pain runs too deep.
I don’t know who to blame,
but evil starts to creep.

I feel like I’m fading
and leaving your sight.
I find myself debating,
and I have the need to fight.

I want to feel your love.
I want to have your guidance.
Please come down from above.
Please lead me to repentance.

Engulf me in your grace.
Lead me with your glory.
Please hold me in your embrace,
and know that I am sorry,
that I am sorry.

—Samantha Woodard, 17

All You Need

In August 2010, my uncle, Richard Fortner, passed away suddenly. My uncle meant the world to me, and his death was difficult for my family to bear. One evening as I was playing the guitar, the Holy Spirit inspired me. Words began to flow out of me, and I hurried to write them down. In that moment, I felt assured that God was at work to bring good out of all the pain my family was experiencing.

The song I wrote that night is called “All You Need” and is written from Jesus’ perspective. Here is an excerpt:

I am all you need, when you cannot see
the way it should be, because you belong to me
I am all you need, when you cannot find
the reason to be, but you belong to me

If you are searching for new ways to connect to Jesus or to strengthen your relationship with the Lord, write down your thoughts. You don’t have to write a song or a poem; write whatever you are feeling at the time—just be honest with yourself and with the Lord.

—Kinsey Sigman, 18

DIG DEEPER

The gift of music is one we should treasure. Music inspires us, lifting us up in times of need, comforting us in times of sorrow. Music makes us laugh. It fills us with hope and with love. Music brings together people from around the globe. The next time you hear a favorite song, thank God for music. Or try your hand at writing a new song that expresses your emotions or praise.

—Wesley Overhults

Does climbing a flight of stairs leave you panting like a dog in the summer heat? If so, it may be time for a total-body tune up.

For many busy teenagers, the demands of school, family, and other activities leave little time for staying in shape. Long hours spent sitting (think science class, video games, and the Internet) coupled with not-so-good meal choices are common reasons for feeling tired and unmotivated.

Good health requires careful planning, focused effort, and a long-term commitment. There are no shortcuts, just time-tested strategies to help you be the best God created you to be. Playing sports is no excuse to chow down on sugary foods, simply because you’ll burn it off during practice. Instead, enjoy a balanced diet of chicken, fish, lean meats, fresh fruits, and veggies. Wash down a tasty meal with a tall glass of water, since most other drinks add unnecessary calories (and a pot belly when you’re older).

If you’re wondering where ice cream, pizza, and other goodies fit into the plan, you’ll be surprised to learn that you can have your cake and eat it too—literally. Reward yourself one day a week and gobble down whatever you want. Just be sure to get back on your healthy eating schedule after your 24-hour splurge.

Four Easy Moves Three Days a Week

Keeping our bodies fit and healthy requires more than eating right. It also takes exercise. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday each week, do these four strength-building moves, completing four sets of ten repetitions for each one. Rest for no more than forty-five seconds between sets. Then add twenty minutes of bike riding, running, or swimming to train your heart and lungs. At the end of the workout, hold your favorite stretches for thirty seconds each to prevent injury and to improve flexibility.

DIG DEEPER

Here’s another way to think about healthy living: Everything in moderation, nothing in excess. It’s not a quick-fix diet and workout plan but a wholesome lifestyle recommended by doctors, scientists, and the Good Book itself: “I pray that all goes well for you. I hope that you are as strong in body, as I know you are in spirit” (3 John 1:2, CEV). What lifestyle changes are you willing to make to become the person God created you to be—healthy in mind, body and spirit?

On December 6, many countries in Europe celebrate the tradition of St. Nicholas. Every child cleans and polishes a shoe and places it outside his or her bedroom door or the front door of the house. St. Nicholas comes during the night and, if the child has been good, leaves gifts and small treats in the shoe.

Who was this St. Nicholas, who has now morphed into our modern day Santa Claus? During the third century, Nicholas was born in a Greek village to wealthy parents, who died when he was young. Nicholas took to heart Jesus’ command to the rich young ruler in Mark 10:12–25: “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor.” He dedicated his life to serving God and used his entire inheritance to help the destitute, sick, and suffering. Nicholas was named Bishop of Myra (in present-day Turkey) and was known for his generosity and his love for children. He died on December 6, 343 a.d. and was buried in his cathedral church.

“Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
Mark 10:21c (NIV)

WALK IN THE SHOES OF ST. NICHOLAS: Today is St. Nicholas Day! Think of ways to be intentional about giving away some of your stuff, giving to the poor, or being helpful to others this Christmas season. And consider starting a new tradition with your family members. Tonight or sometime before Christmas, ask each of them to place a clean shoe outside his or her bedroom door. Then fill the shoes with small gifts and treats.

We tend to take our bodies for granted. As long as they work and get us where we need to go, we’re satisfied to say, “Thanks for the ride.” But every ride needs fuel and regular maintenance. Waiting for the 100,000 mile tune-up may be too late. Physical fitness, like Christian discipleship, requires regular maintenance. Today’s work builds on yesterday’s progress. Yet many people fail to make time for regular exercise and try instead to cram in exercise on the weekends. These “weekend warriors” hobble in on Mondays after a weekend of exercising too much, too fast, or too long. Fitness is a test you can’t cram for. Christians can look at working out as a matter of stewardship, taking care of what has been entrusted to us for a lifetime. We can’t simply buff up at the last minute so that we look good for the final judgment. Our whole life will tell the story. What story is your body telling right now?

Getting Started

Maybe getting started with fitness is the hardest part, or maybe you’ve started hundreds of times and let it slide. Ask God to help. God loves all of you and created your body to carry you through everything God wants you to do. Imagine sitting beside the pool at Bethesda and hearing Jesus ask, “Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6, NIV). Answer honestly, not with what you are supposed to say but with what you are willing to do. Then decide how you will follow through. Working out doesn’t have to be drudgery. The more fun it is, the more likely you are to keep doing it. Invite people along on your fitness ride. Ask them to be your cheerleaders, or find a partner and hold each other accountable. And don’t be too hard on yourself if you slack off from time to time. When I started my business, a Christmas carol inspired the name Fit2Finish. This Christmas, allow these words to take on a special meaning for you: “Bless all the dear children in thy tender care, and fit us for heaven to live with thee there.” How does God fit us for heaven? I feel pretty sure that it’s a daily practice and that it lasts a lifetime.

DIG DEEPER

Here are some fun ways to keep your workout fresh:

• Make an exercise grab bag. List on slips of paper 5–10 different fitness practices, and draw one out each day.
• Let music inspire you. Jog through an entire song on your iPod.
• Use neighborhood intervals. Run for three mailboxes, then walk for one. Repeat several times.
• Do prayer reps. Lift concerns and joys to God with each repetition or set of calisthenics.
• Take the stairs. Run up and down the stairs at home or at school, or try taking them two at a time.
• Stretch through the commercials. Instead of fast forwarding through commercial breaks, get up and stretch.
• Play games. Shoot some hoops, play Wii Fit, start a game of pick-up football—just for fun.

Be sure to check out the Fit2Finish video created to bring faith and fitness together by combining The Lord’s Prayer with an arm and shoulder stretch. You can do this body prayer almost anywhere!

Have any of your friends ever thought about suicide? Could you help a friend who said, “I want to die?” When a teenager thinks about suicide, he or she usually turns to a friend (not family) to talk about what is going on. Though it may seem hard, you often can help.

Action Steps

Most suicidal teens do not want to die, but they do not know what else to do. You can help a friend who is contemplating suicide.

S-tay calm. Don’t panic. You can handle this!

U-nderstand him as best you can. Your friend needs your help, not your judgment. Take him seriously, even if he is trying to make a joke out of it.

I-nvolve others. Tell an adult, even if your friend begs you not to. It is better to have a friend mad at you than dead. You can also encourage her to call a local or national helpline, such as The Covenant House (1-800-999-9999) or Boys Town (1-800-448-3000).

C-are for him. Tell him how much you love him. Remind him how much God loves him.

I-nvolve yourself. Stay with her until you get help. A suicidal person should not be left alone. Be available for her, especially during the week after she first talks with you about suicide.

D-evelop options with him. Suicidal people have trouble seeing any other way of solving their problems. Help him see ways of making his life better, even if he cannot fix “the problem.”

E-courage her to talk. Listen. Ask, “How are you feeling? What are you thinking?” You can even ask, “Are you thinking about suicide?” (Just asking the question will not cause your friend to try it.)

ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS—even if you do all these things, your friend may still choose to die. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR A SUICIDAL PERSON.

Warning Signs

People who want to die may not always say, “I’m thinking about suicide.” However, they often give “hints” or clues about what they are planning. Look for some of these warning signs:

• depression
• pulling away from others
• talking less
• complaints about physical problems
• giving away prized possessions
• drastic changes in school and/or work.
• thinking and talking about death a lot
• feeling guilty or ashamed
• becoming more angry
• threatening suicide, either seriously or as a joke
• having attempted suicide before
• not being aware of what is real and what is not
• a sudden, unexplained happiness
• loss of interest in things he or she used to like
• not caring about personal appearance
• doing dangerous things
• beginning self-abuse
• drug use (either beginning or increasing use)
• change in appetitie
• change in sleep patterns

These signs can occur quickly or build up slowly. The more warning signs you see, the more quickly you need to take action.

What If I Feel Suicidal?

Maybe you’ve been thinking about suicide—maybe wondering if your problems will ever go away or if you would be better off dead.

Jesus tells us that he came to earth to give us life, abundantly! Yet, sometimes this life can be very difficult. Even in the worst of times, however, God offers hope:

H-ears: God hears your cries (Psalm 118:5-6). Yell, talk, whisper, pray to God. God is listening!

O-vercome: God will provide a way out, without suicide (1 Corinthians 10:13). Find help from family, friends, professionals, (ministers, teachers, or counselors). Try something new.

P-lan: God has a plan for your life (Philippians 1:6). God will provide what you need—trust God. God is bigger than your problems!

E-ver-present: God is with you, even when you feel like dying (Joshua 1:9). No matter what, as long as you live, God is there—right with you. Be strong!

DIG DEEPER

Read Romans 8:35, 37-39.

Paul, who wrote the book of Romans, made a list of things that make us feel bad. Jot down your own list of things that get you down. Try to include everything you can think of. Then read the passage from Romans again. Using a red marker, write “God Loves Me!” across your list.

Take a look at your list from across the room. How does it feel to know that God loves you? How can God help you with these problems?

The first time I met Daniel he was lying in my hammock, in my backyard, with my beagle snoozing on his chest. I didn’t want to interrupt their special moment, but I did want to meet the trespasser. Daniel explained that he had been sneaking into my backyard from time to time to play with Simon the Beagle. He didn’t mean any harm.

Daniel was thirteen. I told him he was welcome to visit Simon any time he liked. He took me up on the offer. From then on, whenever I was in the yard, so was Daniel. If I went for a walk with my wife, Daniel joined us. A picnic lunch in the backyard included a plate for Daniel.

I learned that school wasn’t great for Daniel and that his life was lonely. But I didn’t have all the time in the world for him. I often asked him to head home when I had to study for my seminary classes. At times, he felt like an interruption and sometimes even a nuisance. Yet I grew to love Daniel, and I think he loved me.

One afternoon, while I was working on a Bible study that I led for college students, Daniel asked what I was doing. I told him about Jesus—the first time I talked about Jesus with someone who had never heard of him. Daniel asked good questions. As we talked about Jesus, I sensed in Daniel a growing peace.

Not long afterward, late on a Saturday night, I answered a knock at my front door. There stood Daniel, wrapped in a big winter coat; his eyes said something was wrong. I invited him in, but he never left his place on the welcome mat outside my door. We talked, we prayed, and I sent him home.

Some time during the night, Daniel took his life.

When I received the news, I felt as if my life were ending too. Waves of guilt, fear, and shock covered me. For some time, I had thought that God would use me for great things. In that moment, I felt that God’s dreams for me had ended. How could I have missed the signs? What if I had not been so tired? What if I had asked more questions? What if I had walked him home? The questions suffocated my mind and heart. I didn’t sleep that night, and I drove like a zombie to my morning classes.

The darkness hovered for weeks. Weeks turned into months before I felt a little hope. I talked with others about my regret and sadness. I talked to God a lot but heard little in return. Then one afternoon, as I sat quietly to rest and to grieve, I heard God speak to my heart: “I still love you. I still want to use you.”

I’m not sure that I believed what I heard, but I clung to those words of hope.

DIG DEEPER

One year to the day after Daniel’s death, I stayed up all night for a different reason. I was awaiting my daughter’s birth. After a long night awake, I held little Mary in my arms.

The name Mary in Hebrew means “bitter.” But after Mary, the mother of Jesus, encountered God and God’s promise, she said, “From now on all generations will call me blessed” (Luke 1:48b, NRSV). God had the power to change the meaning of Mary’s name, just as God had the power to change my heart.

My daughter, born on the anniversary of his death, did not replace my young friend Daniel. I still miss him. I still grieve. Mary’s birth was, however, a reminder that after my long nights of grief, God continues to speak to me: “I still love you.”

“OK, class, define the word family.” I remember the phrase as if it were uttered yesterday rather than ten years ago in elementary school. Hmmm, how do I define family? And which family are we talking about—birth parents, adoptive parents, relatives by marriage, cousins I’ve never seen, half siblings? What about my church family? What about God my Father and Jesus my brother?

I admit that those are some pretty heavy thoughts for a ten-year-old, but I have always thought outside the box and questioned things most kids my age never even considered. You see, my beginnings weren’t like your average kid’s.

My Story

I was born to a young mom, who had already given birth three times. She was a severe drug addict and alcoholic who had no clue how to be a mom. At sixteen, she gave birth to twins. Next, she had Misty, my third oldest sister, and then Lanie, who was only eighteen months old when I was born.

My birth mom was strung out most of the time, so I was only fed, changed, and held when she remembered. When the state threatened to step in and take away her kids, she knew she had to do something. The twins had been given to a family member long ago. Misty was given to one of my birth mom’s siblings, and Lanie was shipped off to Texas to live with relatives she had never met. That left me, a sickly three-month-old whom no one wanted.

A drug buddy of my birth mom actually introduced her to the woman who would adopt me. Basically, my birth mom told her that the state was coming in and that she needed to get rid of me. This woman, the only mom I’ve ever known, offered to take me; and that evening, she and her husband began the process to adopt me. Later that week, my adoptive parents took me to the hospital and discovered that I had heart problems, growth issues, terrible diaper rash, and overall poor health. The doctor determined that my birth mother had used drugs late into her pregnancy, and he warned my new parents that I would need a lot of care.

My parents didn’t think once about the risk, the pain, and the financial issues that might arise from adopting me, but selflessly devoted their lives to caring for me. So I grew up with my adoptive parents rather than my birth parents. But there is more to my family.

Family Continues

My adoptive father had children from his first marriage, so I have half siblings. Even though they lived with their mom and I didn’t see them often, they are still my family. Some of my friends have become like family to me. I have led several of them to Christ; and though we have long since parted ways, they are still family to me because they are family to God. God is my heavenly Father and thus a part of my family, just as Jesus is my brother. I have birth siblings whom I don’t know, but they are still my family. And although I want nothing to do with my birth parents, they are still related to me by blood.

And what about my church family, the people who comfort, love, and nurture me? My church family is a part of my family. As a matter of fact, anyone who is a part of God’s family is a part of my family too. That includes you!

So how would I define family? For me, family is beyond definition. Family is the sum of all its parts, no matter how big or small, no matter how close or far away.

DIG DEEPER

Think about Rebecca’s amazing story. How do you define family? Grab a pen and paper, and write down the people you include in your family. Pray for each person in the days to come, and pray that your family might reflect God’s love for all people.

—Tom Arthur

EXPAND YOUR DEFINITION: As an MK (missionary kid), I live 8000 kilometers from my cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Even in this digital age, that’s pretty far away. Yet I’m surrounded by “family”—close friends with whom I can talk at any time and my church. As the body of Christ, the members of my church are my grandmas and gramps, aunties and uncles, and cousins. It’s like going to a family reunion every Sunday! In God’s family, I am a sister, niece, daughter, and granddaughter to every Christian on the planet. You’re a part of my family too!

—Beth Hobbs, 16

A friend of mine has a great sense of humor. Unfortunately, the way she uses it turns off a lot of people. It’s not that she isn’t funny (she actually is), but her humor usually comes across as negative and sarcastic. She will criticize anything to get a laugh, and she uses humor to ridicule things other people value.

Kind words bring life,
but cruel words crush your spirit.
Proverbs 15:4 (GNT)

It was easy to laugh at her sarcastic twists and taunts until recently, when she used them on me. She criticized something I was extremely proud of; and suddenly, her sarcasm wasn’t funny anymore. Even worse, she wasn’t able to turn around what she had said, even when she knew I was hurt. Negativity has become such a habit for her that she’s forgotten how to be positive. She made me realize that a negative attitude can take over your whole personality if you let it. Hopefully, this applies to positive attitudes as well.

Has Your Personality become Totally Attitude? Do you . . .

> bristle when your mom asks you to take out the trash?

> triumph before you score the winning shot?

> strut into the cafeteria?

> drown in despair when you don’t make the top grade?

> always see the glass as half-empty?

If these are rare occurrences, fine. If not, your attitude may be in charge. If you’re headed for a total personality take-over, grab control. Instead, make a habit of displaying one of the positive qualities listed in Galatians 5:22–23.

I have a pretty serious emotional poker face. It’s hard to tell what I’m feeling from my expression. This poker face helps me pretend that my feathers don’t get ruffled when someone criticizes me; but if I’m really honest, I have to admit that I don’t receive negative feedback any better than anyone else. When someone says I’m not doing a good job, when I get a bad grade, or when I receive an angry email, I get tense and anxious. My stomach ties up in knots; my heartbeat accelerates. I dwell on that negative feedback all day, even though it may have come among a sea of positive comments.

The only time I am able to avoid all this craziness is when I ask for feedback. Ask for feedback? Yep. When I ask someone to critique me or my work, something different happens. I’m less defensive and anxious; I open up and choose to receive the feedback. After all, I asked for it.

I recently read that psychological research has shown a similar response to be true for most people: When we ask for feedback, we receive negative feedback much better than if we didn’t ask for it. I’ve also found that when I ask for constructive criticism, people are more likely to give it to me in a kind, gentle, and loving way. My occasional requests for feedback provide a healthy release valve for any frustration they may feel toward me, so their feelings don’t build up inside and come out in one big blast of negativity. Asking for feedback not only helps me to be more open to receiving criticism; it also helps the other person to offer praise or criticism in healthier ways.

The Humility of Feedback

I think asking for feedback is actually an extension of the Christian virtue of humility. Paul says, “As God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience” (Colossians 3:12, NRSV). Humility is an attitude that admits the truth: “I don’t have it all together. I don’t have all the answers. I need you to help me be the person God wants me to be.” When you ask for someone to give you feedback, you’re practicing humility.

So how does this work? Here are some habits I’ve adopted to help me ask for feedback. At least once a month, I ask my wife how I’m doing as her husband. I regularly ask my colleagues how well I’m doing my job. I invite friends and teachers to look over my work and to tell me if they see anything that can be improved. To help me grow personally and professionally, I seek out mentors who are older than I am and who have more life experience and professional expertise than I do. I meet every other week with a small group of men who ask how I am doing in my walk with Christ. Every day I sit in prayer and ask God for this same kind of feedback. Then I listen. When I get an answer, I ask God to help me live it out.

DIG DEEPER

Whom do you need to ask for feedback—a friend? your girlfriend or boyfriend? a parent? a teacher? your pastor? Set up a time this week to sit down with one person and ask, “How can I be a better friend, son or daughter, student, Christian?” Then listen. If you receive wise advice, say, “Thanks, I’ll give it a try.” Then try it. Ask God for help.

Aaron Cross, a recent college graduate, talks honestly about the frustrations of looking for a job in these tough economic times.

His story is an all too common one for young people (and for people of all ages) these days. Discover how his faith helps him to face the times of hopelessness.

REMEMBERING THAT GOD IS FAITHFUL
I love the story of Abraham and Isaac (Genesis 22:1–14). Just when Abraham and Sarah finally had their long awaited son, Isaac, God told Abraham to climb a mountain and to kill Isaac as a sacrifice. This command was so unimaginable that Abraham probably thought he had heard it wrong. Maybe he asked, “You want me to do what?”

At the last moment, just as Abraham was raising the knife to kill his son, God provided a different sacrifice: a ram caught in the bushes.

Sometimes our lives seem hopeless. Family members lose jobs. We move to a new house or a new city to look for a new start. We wonder if God is ever coming to our rescue.

In hard times, we may struggle to remember that God is always faithful. God’s plans may be different from ours. Like Abraham, we may not understand what God is asking of us. But in our most desperate moments, let’s hold on to our faith, remembering that God is with us and will provide exactly what we need.

—Erin Burke, 24

BEING CONTENT, DEPENDING ON GOD, SHARING WITH OTHERS
The faltering economy has affected the way we live. On my block, many houses are vacant; and struggling families share their homes with others. For the first time in my life, I am going without some of the things I consider needs.

God may be using the economy to change my heart. I am learning to be content in all circumstances. I am depending on God for my true needs and letting go of my wants. I am learning to manage more carefully the resources God has given me and to share what I have. All around us, families who have never been in need are waking up to empty pantries and wearing worn-out shoes. The economic crisis is an opportunity for us to share the love of Christ and everything that God has given us.

—Danika Cooley

FOCUSING ON TRUE WEALTH
I take comfort in the ways I am truly wealthy. I have a lot of good friends. I have parents who love me. I have a college education that has broadened my view of the world and my place in it. I have a job that pays moderately well, and I have hobbies that I pursue passionately. Most of all, I have the love of Jesus Christ and the promise of salvation. I have the security of knowing that Jesus loves me despite my flaws and that he will always be there for me when I need comfort and guidance. Money cannot buy the things that are truly important in life.

—Wesley Overhults

CHERISHING THE GIFT MONEY CANNOT BUY
The economic crisis has affected my family in many ways; but because of several chronic health problems, having health insurance that covers our medical expenses is critical. To provide the best possible life for his family, my father has changed jobs three times. The financial burden and the stress of the last few years has made it difficult to be happy around my house.

What carries my family through this struggle is remembering that as Christians, we put our faith in God, not money. Trusting in God to provide remains my family’s biggest source of strength and gives us peace that cannot be bought. Our faith puts money in perspective by reminding us that the greatest gift we will ever receive is free.

—Samuel Rogers, 18

I’ve tried all kinds of things to calm her down. I play music, sit with her in the bathtub, let her hide under the bed. I’ve even built elaborate blanket forts where she could retreat and feel safe. Nothing works. I’m left with a shaky mess of a dog at my feet, begging me to make it stop and to make her feel safe again.

Mila is inconsolable. I’m equal parts heartbroken and frustrated. I wish she could understand that she’s safe and that I would never let anything bad happen to her. I wish she could reason that since she was safe in every other storm, she’ll be safe in this one. Yet no matter how many storms she gets through safely, she freaks out during the next one.

Mila’s fear of storms is a lot like my fear. I’m brave during thunderstorms; but dealing with other issues in my life, I turn into a shaky mess of a human being. I can’t be consoled when I’m afraid about the future. No blanket fort will stop my worrying about money when the rent is due and my bank account is looking grim. How frustrated must God be? As I look up with big, worried eyes and ask God to make everything OK, God must look back at me with heartbroken frustration—the same feelings I have for Mila on a stormy night.

Reason should work the same way for me too. Sure, the future is uncertain and scary; but if I look to the past and to all the times God has brought me through difficult situations, I should see that I’m going to be fine this time as well. But relying solely on faith isn’t easy. Doubt creeps in, preying on my insecurities; and before I know it, I’m hiding under the bed, paws over my eyes, waiting for the storm to pass.

When I feel the first hint of fear, I try to head it off by meditating on Isaiah 41:10 (NIV): “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

God, who loves us, watches over us and protects us. Sure, life is hard, unpredictable, unpleasant, and down-right scary at times. But instead of shouting, “God, why won’t you fix this? Why won’t you make this pass?” we need to press into the Lord. We need to acknowledge that God is ultimately in control and to trust that God will bring us through—just as God has kept us safe in the past.

DIG DEEPER

Make a list of situations in which you were scared. Then write about how each of those situations was resolved. How did God bring you through? Are you stronger because of what you went through? What did you learn? The next time you are afraid, revisit these thoughts.

Be sure to listen to CLOSER by Philmont!

New town, new home, new school, new friends, new impressions—Must. Fit. In.

I made fun of him. I called him biting names. Why? I didn’t even know him. I hardly knew who he was. He didn’t hurt me. Honestly, we’d never even spoken. I wanted to look cool. He was quiet, an easy target; so I bullied him.

I was eight years old and in the fourth grade. I knew better. With the first words of my rant, I felt guilty; but I couldn’t stop myself. Stopping would show vulnerability. I would look weak, as if I had a conscience—neither of which would impress my fellow fourth-graders.

I was disciplined at home and at school, including a trip to the principal’s office where I sat face-to-face with my victim and was expected to apologize formally. (Believe me, I was humiliated.)

I made no progress up the social ladder. I later learned that the friends I so desperately hoped to impress had tattled, recounting the story to a teacher in spot-on detail. Nothing positive resulted from my actions. I was simply a bully.

Why did I act with such harsh disrespect? Sure, I wanted to fit in. I wanted to look cool. But at the heart of my behavior was deep fear and insecurity. I was afraid other people would think I embodied the traits I yelled at the quiet boy. I cast onto him, a complete stranger, the characteristics I found unfavorable in myself; and then I criticized him. By deflecting the attention onto him, I thought other people would no longer see me as the person I didn’t want to be.

In fact, I ended up feeling worse about myself. Years later, I still feel deep remorse for my shameful behavior.

Call a Halt to Bullying

With the Internet and social networking, bullying is growing at an unprecedented rate. People of all ages can more easily bully and be bullied simply because they can remain anonymous, hiding behind a computer screen and a keyboard.

However, with God’s love and fulfillment, we can help put a stop to bullying. We are imperfect human beings. We all have fears that play with our confidence and judgment. But God tells us that we are God’s children. In God, we are made whole. All of our insecurities and fears are to be cast at the Lord’s feet.

The next time you find yourself tempted to bully, ask yourself, Why? What fear or insecurity in me makes me feel the need to bully? Pray for God’s love to inhabit that critical place within. Then choose to love instead of spreading hate and hurt.

The next time you are bullied, take a deep breath and ask God to forgive the bully and to transform his or her hate into love. Do not strike back in anger. Instead, feel God’s unending love and let it envelop you and protect you. Let God help you find the strength and support you need to stand up against bullying.

Learn from my mistakes. Don’t feel worse about yourself as a result of bullying.

The crusade against bullying must start somewhere. Use God’s love to fight this infectious behavior.

DIG DEEPER

Think of times when you’ve bullied. Were you acting out of fear? How could you have turned the bullying into an act of love? Pray for the love of God to fill your heart and guide your actions.

It all started during an assembly at school when the issue of homelessness caught my attention. Soon, in an attempt to raise money for and awareness of the homeless, I had committed to spend 100 nights—from September 15 to December 24—sleeping on the roof of our church parsonage.

After the dates were set, I sent a letter to all the members of the church, asking them to pledge money for each night I slept on the roof. By September 15, my tent was ready and I was excited to begin. I kept these items in my tent: a lantern, an eggshell mat, a couple of Calvin and Hobbes books, a Bible, and 260 pounds of sand bags to keep the tent from blowing off the roof. To get to my tent, I had to climb out of a study window; but once on the roof, I had a bird’s-eye view of the Minneapolis skyline.

I loved it outside; the weather was perfect—for a while. In October it began to get pretty cold, so I added a few more sleeping bags and a hot water bottle for my feet. Then November brought snow. I had to dash from the window to my frost-covered tent, but I stayed outside on those Minnesota winter nights; and many people doubled their pledges for every night the temperature dipped below zero. I did survive 100 nights; but on a few of those nights, shivering in my sleeping bag, I wondered why I was outside in a tent in –15 degree weather when a warm, empty bed waited inside.

Before roof-sleeping, I did not understand what it meant to be a homeless person. I can’t say I fully understand now. Yes, I was cold and I slept outside; but I had a home and a bed to return to. And yet, this experience of being homeless changed me. My tent became a symbol to me and to others that there are homeless people who live among us, forgotten and neglected.

Wealth and Poverty

After the 100 nights, I spent a semester in Paraguay as an exchange student. I lived with a Paraguayan family and went to a Paraguayan school. I witnessed more poverty than I had ever seen before. Out of the fifty students in my classroom, perhaps three could afford to buy textbooks. On my way to school, I saw five-year-old children selling bananas on the bus and mothers, with babies in their arms, cleaning windshields at busy intersections. Cardboard villages spread out just beyond the capitol building. Rich and poor lived side by side.

The same is true in American cities. How can we walk city streets without seeing the injustice—without taking action to change the situation? Many of us believe that homeless people are responsible for their homelessness, that they are lazy drug addicts who never made an effort to get an education or to find a job. However, in Minnesota, forty-one percent of homeless adults are fully employed but cannot find affordable housing. Our false stereotypes help us to excuse our negligence.

As I write, it is September 15—a year later—and I am wishing I were in my tent again. I am glad that I took up the challenge. Hopefully, I raised the awareness of poverty and homelessness in Minneapolis. Now I have to figure out what is next for me.

DIG DEEPER

And what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?
Micah 6:8b (NRSV)

REFLECT: How are you being challenged “to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God”?

Be Honest with Yourself and Others

I used to lie to make myself look cool. But I realized that the friends I was trying so hard to impress weren’t good friends at all. We gossiped all the time and were mean to one another. I knew I had to be honest with these friends, so I told them that our relationships were leading me away from God. Breaking away from that group and finding new Christian friends has been a good decision!

—Holly Cannon, 16

Be careful whom you imitate

Although I’m from the South, I don’t have a strong southern accent. Yet after spending a week with my friends at camp, I always come back with a heavier twang. When we spend time with other people, we inevitably start acting like they do—in speech, manner, or action. Ephesians 5:1 tells us to be imitators of God instead.

—Mary Lynn Johnson, 19

Listen to those who know you well

After starting a new job, I met someone who shared my interest in movies and music. We quickly became friends, although she was quite the party girl. Hanging out with her, my lifestyle began to change. When my supervisor noticed the change in me, she pulled me aside and said, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you who you are.” After that conversation, I began to surround myself with new friends who have helped me to become more like Christ.

—Amy Wickland

Be willing to say NO in love

Sometimes we feel that to love people means to give them whatever they want, even if their demands are unreasonable, hurtful, or selfish. But real love isn’t stupid, and it doesn’t feed sin or selfishness. Sometimes love means saying no. Sometimes it means looking past people’s demands and seeing their real need, even if they need to be told no.

—Rachel Starr Thomson

Handle all relationships with prayer

When I first noticed that my friend’s attitude was negatively affecting mine, I began to pray about what I should do. My answer was to take a breather. When I took some time off, I saw my attitude change. She’s still my friend, but I’ve learned that all relationships need to be handled with prayer.

—Sierra Klotz, 16

DIG DEEPER

A famous football coach once said that the young people under his supervision would be changed only by the books they read, the movies they watched, and the people with whom they associated. Certainly, we are a glorious combination of DNA, the things we experience, and the attitudes we choose; but how many of us have seriously considered who or what influences us and how we influence other people? With what do we feed our minds? Who are our friends? I believe our pipeline of influence has a lot to do with what flows out of our hearts and lives. Junk In, Junk Out!

—Von Mitchell

Senior year has been full of changes. I have faced college applications and decisions, rounds of lasts (such as the last dance recital), and thoughts of leaving my family and friends. My last year in high school has been tough, but it has also opened my eyes. Now that I’m a senior, my group of friends is pretty set. I know who is going to be there for me.

Senior year has been full of trials. Recently, my grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I am facing his death, and I’m trying to keep my feelings in balance while I cope with my busy schedule. I have been increasingly dependent on my friends to help me get through this time; and in recent weeks, their care for me has been exceptional. The night I learned my grandfather’s diagnosis, my future roommate, Sandy, called me and immediately sent a care package. Though she lives in a different city, she came through for me when I needed her most.

My core group of eight friends have been with me through other difficult times as well. I know that they genuinely care about me and about what is going on in my life. Our friendship has not been selfish or based on false pretenses. We are straightforward with one another. We give to one another without expecting anything in return.

These friends have taught me the difference between true friends and wannabe friends. True friends are there for me in every situation. Wannabe friends remain by my side only when life is easy and fun. Wannabe friends don’t stick around when times get tough and I need someone to lean on. True friends keep me away from wannabe friends.

Due to my stressful situation, I have been increasingly selfish lately. I firmly believe that God has given me a great group of friends as a reminder that God will never give me a load heavier than I can carry and that I don’t have to carry it alone. I have felt God’s presence in my friends. I see God’s work in their talents, personalities, and abilities. Each one of them brings perspective to my life and joy that is unmatched.

I am thankful for the challenges of my senior year. My relationships have been tested and have proven to be strong. God has led me through difficult times and has given me all that I need: my parents, my brother, and my true friends.

DIG DEEPER

Look over the last year and the challenges you have faced. Then think about your friends. Who are the friends that stayed with you when times got rough? Who left when you needed them most? The friends who stayed with you are there for a reason. Thank God for your true friends.

Anyone can complain about issues related to family, friends, or country; but words alone accomplish very little. For our voices to make an impact, we must act. This is where I fall short. I often talk rather than get out and make a difference.

We can give many excuses for not acting: we have too little time, the task is too daunting, we don’t know what to do, we don’t believe that our actions will make a difference. However, none of these excuses is good enough. As Christians, it is important for us to voice our opinions and to act on them—a combination of speaking and doing. Maybe we can’t change the world, but we can change the way people think. If we are brave, we can start a revolution for change.

PRAYER:

It is God who is at work in you, enabling you both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Philippians 2:13 (NRSV)

God, grant me courage to speak up.
Let my deeds be a lamp,
reflecting the light of your will.
May my life make a difference
to better your world.
Always let me remember
it is you whom I serve.

About Honesty

Teenagers feel as if all young people are painted in a negative light because of the poor choices a few of them make. Reanna said, “One person does something bad, and a whole new policy or rule is made for everyone.” She went on to say, “Teens have been known to lie, so adults assume all teens lie.” Jacob gave an example: One time he didn’t realize he had homework to do; and when he explained the situation, his teacher thought he was lying to cover up. “It makes you feel inferior and dumb.”

Teens feel that they aren’t being taken seriously in their families either. Aiden said, “I was watching TV, and my mom turned on the news.” He felt his preferences weren’t taken into account. Julia said that teenagers are often “joking around, so even when they are serious, adults think they’re joking.” Jacob understands this because he has trouble taking his younger brother seriously. “My bro does things in a funny or silly tone even though he’s serious. I’ve lost a lot of trust in him.” The theme of lying crept back into the conversation as Noah said, “My mom, dad, and brother think I’m lying even when I’m not; it makes me angry.”

About Family

But the teens at FYBY also pointed out a lot of positive things that they experience in their families. Jacob said, “In general, your parents understand you better than other people. You can tell your parents things, and they know when you’re telling the truth.” Devon appreciates his mom’s straightforward approach: “One time she said, ‘In four weeks I want this grade improved.’ That’s all she said—and I did it.”

Advice for Teens

The teens also offered some helpful tips for their peers who want to be taken seriously by adults.

• Build a track record of doing a great job. Gaelen described the first time he played drums in the church band. He felt as if the adults in the band expected him to make a lot of mistakes. “This made me really want to prove them wrong—and I knew that I could. When I played well, they all saw that they were wrong about me.”
• Be patient. Reanna described how she worked her way up to a position of responsibility and authority at her dance studio. At first she wasn’t taken seriously; but “now I’m an assistant, and soon I’ll have my own class.”
• Treat adults as you want to be treated. Reanna said, “To get respect you have to give respect.” She added, “You can’t make judgments against teachers or adults.” Along the same lines, Noah explained that you need to be the kind of person who can be taken seriously: “Be more truthful, and do what you’re supposed to do. And if you don’t, admit it rather than lie.”
• Ultimately, trust God. Jacob commented that only “God can change the way someone sees me. Society is sinful, and we can’t change it overnight. Only God can. Pray to gainrespect.”

DIG DEEPER

Arrange to meet with an adult you trust to talk about what you can do to be taken more seriously. Consider using these questions to guide your conversation:

• Are there things I’m doing that keep adults from taking me seriously?
• Are there things I already do that help adults take me seriously?
• When and how do you experience my giving you respect?
• What can I do differently so that my voice is heard and respected?

My first Sunday-night worship service in college, the chorus of the last song hit me so hard that I started bawling.

Jesus paid it all; all to him I owe.
Sin had left a crimson stain;
he washed it white as snow.

The Crimson Stain


I was twelve years old when, with my two best friends, I entered into the dark world of self-injury, suicide attempts, anti-depressants, and late-night phone calls. Without even realizing it, I turned to cutting to solve my problems. I had never been happy; I never knew what I was doing or even why I was around. I had no friends and no one to turn to. I was upset all the time and couldn’t explain why. When I started cutting, it was just a silly habit I could stop at the drop of a hat; but it turned into an addiction faster than I realized possible.

For seven years, I was stuck in the world of cutting. I tried to hide it. I tried to pretend that I was happy and that nothing was wrong. Honestly, I couldn’t explain why I was sad; I just was. I couldn’t pinpoint anything that had happened to make me sad; I just was. Cutting helped at first. I was able to take my emotional pain and emptiness and turn it into physical pain. This was my world. While I didn’t thrive, I survived; and for seven years, surviving was enough.



Turning to God

After that first Sunday night worship service, I realized my eyes had been closed to the truth. I began meeting with a chaplain on campus, desiring to turn my life over to God. I was exhausted from constantly fighting for survival and needed someone to fight for me.

With his help, I realized that life was so much more than the dull ache in my chest. But change hasn’t come overnight. Almost eight months later, there are still nights when I sit up shaking, wondering if the battle is worth fighting. Some days, I pay attention to nothing but my own misery. It isn’t easy for me to smile. Yet I’ve learned some important lessons, thanks to the prophet Jeremiah and to Jon Foreman, the lead singer of Switchfoot.

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) says, “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” I claim that verse with all my heart, every day of my life. I’m learning to look for the little things and to find the moments when it’s obvious that God is working in my life.

In the song “Your Love Is Strong” on his solo EP, Jon Foreman names two things God says to us: “You are strong” and “I love you.”

Fighting self-injury and depression as a teen is difficult; fighting it as a Christian teen is downright terrifying. I knew in my head that God loved me and believed I was worth loving; but I couldn’t convince myself that I was worth anything to anyone, especially to God. Most nights I didn’t want to breathe. But I would listen to “Your Love Is Strong,” and gradually I began to trust that God’s love for me was real.

TWLOHA

With the help of a good friend, I was introduced to the group To Write Love On Her Arms (www.twloha.com), a non-profit organization dedicated to the prevention and awareness of self-injury and suicide. Through TWLOHA, I met other people who are struggling and many who have overcome the addiction. I no longer feel as isolated, and knowing I am not alone has made the battle easier. I may still struggle every day of my life—sometimes I wonder if I will ever be free; but I have rediscovered a passionate relationship with God, and I am slowly learning to love myself. With the help of some amazing people and an amazing God, I now know that I will beat this.

DIG DEEPER

When you’re sad, what gives you hope? Who or what helps you to find comfort in God’s love?

PRAY: God, write your love all over our lives so that we may find comfort and strength to live free, always rejoicing in your holy name. Amen.

If a friend is cutting, check out the article “How Can I Help a Friend Who Cuts?”

Believe me, I’ve had my share of problems. For many years, I ignored them, trying to be strong; but I have learned that ignoring a problem often makes it worse.

In sixth grade, I was the new kid at school, and I was bullied to the point of physical violence. Kids circled me and took turns hitting me, punching me, kicking me, and spitting on me. But the chants as I walked down the hall were the cruelest: “Kill yourself.” “Suicide.” “You don’t deserve to live.” They voiced the thoughts I was already having.

I felt that if I told my parents, I would be putting an extra burden on them or admitting that I had failed. Instead, I covered my bruises and tried to ignore my feelings. I turned my back on God. The pain slowly turned to a numb feeling, which was even scarier. I was devoid of emotion, as if I were watching a movie about my life, totally detached from the world around me.

Then I learned about self-injury. I asked a friend how he was dealing with hardship in his life. He rolled up his sleeves and showed me the scars crisscrossing his arms. As I stared in shock, he described his feelings of numbness, just like mine, and said that cutting reminded him that if he could bleed, he must still be alive.

The first time I tried cutting myself, it hurt so bad I got sick from the pain; but later, I tried again. That time cutting sent a rush of energy to my chest; I knew that I was still breathing and able to feel. Once-a-week cutting turned into several times a week and eventually became a daily ritual. It was a way to purge my body of the disgust I felt about myself and to punish myself for being a failure.

For me, self-injury (SI) was like riding a roller coaster—anticipation, pain, giddiness, then the inevitable letdown. SI is also an addiction; after I’d done it for a while, I realized I couldn’t stop.

Recovery

After months of cutting, I let a girl at school see my scars. She told a teacher, and my parents were notified. I came home to find my mom pacing the floor. She freaked out and called the mental hospital. I talked to a woman from the hospital, who said I was in average mental health and advised my mom to get me into counseling. She did, but I continued to cut whenever I could get away with it. I cut my upper arms and thighs where Mom wouldn’t see the scars. Then Mom began homeschooling me. Seventh grade passed; eighth grade passed. My only friend and I grew apart, which sent me into depression and more self-injury.

The summer before ninth grade, I went to a Christian camp. The thought of going scared me. I would be away from my parents in a strange place with unfamiliar kids and no access to my SI tools. Yet, during that week, I accepted Christ as my Savior. The counselors explained that in God’s eyes I was beautiful. When I hurt myself, I was hurting God. They helped me to see that God had never turned away from me but was waiting for me to walk back into God’s loving arms. They assured me that the only person who needed to bleed for me was Jesus. I talked to kids who had been involved in SI and realized that I wasn’t alone, that I didn’t have to deal with the pain all by myself.

With God’s help, I have been SI free for six years. And someday, I hope to start a program in my community so that those who struggle with bullying and SI do not have to face their pain alone.

DIG DEEPER

If you’re cutting and think you’re completely alone in the world, know that you don’t have to face the pain on your own. Believe that God is always there for you, waiting for you to ask for help. Remember that Jesus bled so you don’t have to. And be sure to ask for help.

“Will you take me skydiving?” Katie asked.

“Sure,” I said, “when you turn eighteen.” My words spewed out before my mind had time to think.

It’s sad to admit that, as a twenty-five-year-old youth minister, I was still succumbing to the equivalent of a double-dog dare. You see, my friend Steve was an avid skydiver. As a youth leader at a nearby church, he took all of the graduating seniors skydiving—which they thought was the coolest thing.

So when fourteen-year-old Katie asked if I would take her skydiving when she graduated, I figured it was safe to say, “Sure.” Frankly, I thought she would forget.

She didn’t.

Four years later, she reminded me of my promise. And I spent the three months before her graduation praying that something would happen to thwart our plans—and allow me to save face.

In Tandem

The first time you jump out of a plane, you do a tandem jump, which means you are hooked together with an experienced skydiver who carries a parachute big enough to hold both of you. The tandem master makes sure that no matter how bad you freak out as you are screaming straight down toward the earth, the parachute will open safely and you will both glide into a gentle landing.

In fact, the only reason I kept my promise to Katie was that I realized the guy strapped to me had as much to lose as I did. My parachute was his parachute, so he would do everything in his power to make sure it opened. I put my life in his hands, allowed myself to be tossed out of an airplane at almost 15,000 feet, and fell straight down at more than 150 miles per hour.

To date, this has been the single most heart-pounding, blood-pumping, adrenaline-rushing experience of my life. What began in fear, doubt, struggle, and ultimately surrender grew into a thriving passion. I love skydiving!

Today, Katie and I enjoy reminiscing about the first time we jumped out of an airplane—remembering the knots in our stomachs and our nervous laughter as we suited up, even though we pretended to be unafraid. We watch the videos and recall how exhilarating it was to freefall from almost three miles up.

Tandem Master

There’s an even greater experience—one for which I would trade all of my skydiving adventures—and that is my relationship with Jesus. God connects to us like a tandem master, linked to us forever through Jesus Christ. By choosing to walk among us in human form, God seemed to say, “I have as much to lose here as you do, and I’m not going to let you go.” Now that is an extreme promise!

Don’t be afraid! I am with you.
Isaiah 43:5a (CEV)

God was willing to make that kind of leap for us, and I am honored that God continues to let me come along for the ride. And oh, what a ride it is!

DIG DEEPER

We need to keep in mind that extreme experiences are extreme. Being extreme means being involved in dangerous or even life-threatening activities. It involves pushing the limits of what we normally can achieve. It is drastic, severe, high-intensity; but is it good?

Some people are involved in extreme behaviors that have no redemptive value. What are some of these behaviors? Why are we sometimes drawn to them?

Other extreme activities, behaviors, or beliefs offer hope, faith, or fullness of life. What are they? What draws us to them?

In what ways did Jesus reject extreme behavior? In what ways was Jesus extreme?

God’s love for us is ridiculously extreme. Think of ways to show others God’s extreme love.

There is little time for unbridled creativity, play just for fun (away from the computer), and learning for the enjoyment of deeper understanding and the pursuit of knowledge.” *

These words from an e-newsletter struck a chord in me. Teens need this kind of freedom, but finding it and incorporating it into our lives isn’t easy. The past two or three years of my life I have pursued the elusive shadow of freedom, and the quest is far from over. Plenty more adventures, challenges, lessons, and tears are headed my way; and I relish the idea of meeting them. After all, isn’t freedom something worth chasing after?

Hey Teacher, Leave Those Kids Alone!

A big struggle for freedom in my life has been about school. When I was a sophomore, the school I attended was extremely rigorous. I felt as if my nose were constantly to the grindstone. I can’t remember a night when I didn’t have lots of home-work. By the middle of my sophomore year, I longed to be free from the stress and the homework that consumed my life.

During that time, I read a book that advocated dropping out of school or home schooling and learning from books, life, and the big wide world. I wondered, Why should I sit in a classroom and learn from a textbook when a whole world is out there awaiting me? Suffice it to say, classes became a major bore. I suggested the idea of educating myself, but my mom disliked it from the start. I knew that plan wasn’t going to fly anyway. On to Plan B: Finding a school that would nurture me and set me free from confining academic rigor. I auditioned on my guitar for the local arts school, and I got in. I was thrilled! It was a compromise; but I realized that I will have to make trade-offs in life, and I won’t always get the chance to bargain for my freedom.

Free to Be Unique

Another area of my life that makes me feel free is the clothes I wear. I’m a sedate, soft-spoken person; and clothes are like an art form that helps me express myself creatively, interestingly, “weirdly.”

Freedom from “Stuff”

I read the book Way to Live and became very interested in a chapter entitled “Stuff.” I realized that I had entirely too many possessions, things that other people needed more than I did. I began the process of evacuating stuff from my room—old clothes that no longer fit, books, and videotapes. When I loaded them onto a Goodwill truck, it felt great to be free of their material weight.

The Ultimate Freedom

For me, the ultimate freedom—which no one can take away—is freedom in God. Through Christ, we can be liberated from all the desires of the world—even the desire for stuff, prestige, or social acceptance. We can find freedom in servitude to God and to the people around us. I know, servitude and freedom sound contradictory; but when you offer yourself as a servant to others—by obeying your parents with a cheerful heart (which I’m sure you do all the time!) or by helping out at church—God blesses you. And that’s an uplifting experience!

DIG DEEPER

God made you the way you are, so embrace the beauty that was created within you. Paint a picture, run around outside with your friends, say a prayer of thanks, or help someone in need. Be glad; enjoy the life you have been given; and know that you are unchained, ultimately, in God’s love and unfailing mercy. Be free!

People-pleasing can put a lot of pressure on you. It can even make you sick!

Check out these “21 Tips to Stop Being a People-Pleaser.” Pick a few to practice this week, and get a little stress relief.

Sometimes Beckah Shae was dressed head-to-toe in bold yellow, red, and purple, sporting the full urban Cross Colours gear and jamming to hip hop. At other times, she was listening to Kurt Cobain and donning thrift-store plaid flannel shirts, torn jeans, and combat boots. On other days, she dressed in bright club wear, short skirts, and platform shoes to take on the rave scene. But Beckah wasn’t simply being her own creative, bold person.

After her parents’ divorce, Beckah’s mom remarried three times and kept Beckah moving from rental homes to trailer parks to shelters. Beckah got used to putting on a new self. She became a chameleon, reflecting whatever environment she entered, listening to whatever music was popular, and doing whatever her new friends were doing.

“I was so used to it, I think I didn’t realize that I was conforming and had no idea who I was,” said Beckah, now a Christian pop artist.

Conformity eventually led to fake IDs, raves, wild road trips to Tijuana and Vegas, hanging with California gangs, and experimenting with drugs. When she got a big break and went to record a demo in Los Angeles, Beckah wanted to conform to society’s ideal of a pop artist.

“I tried every way to fit the mold—starving myself, working out until two in the morning,” said Beckah. “Silly, ridiculous things . . . I was really so unhappy with myself.”

When her music career failed to take off, Beckah found herself living in Las Vegas and, for the first time, “hungry for God.” Visiting a church in Vegas, she met a woman who suggested she move to Nashville to pursue her music career. Beckah headed across the country, certain that God was calling her to something new.

“When I first moved, I was so excited,” said Beckah, who found a church home as soon as she landed in Nashville. “I was just thrilled to be a part of a church.”

“Honoring [Christ] with faith and obedience” became Beckah’s joy. She was becoming a new woman and wanted to join the church. However, during the final phase of the church’s membership process, a meeting with the pastor, she was met with a cold handshake and words of judgment. Being denied church membership, Beckah felt the props being ripped away and her life falling into turmoil once again.

“I believe what happened in that meeting was so horrible and so wonderful for me,” said Beckah. “I went home and felt like I was lying in my Daddy’s arms. I cried out to God, ‘Please reveal to me what’s going on! Why is [the pastor] saying these things?’”

That’s when she heard God’s gentle voice saying, “I know you. Let me show you who you are.”

All of her life, even in the church, Beckah had based her identity on what her environment told her to be. But in that moment, Beckah discovered that the real depth of who she is lies in who God created her to be.

“When you see yourself the way God sees you, that’s when you find your freedom.”

DIG DEEPER

Shortly after moving to Nashville, Beckah got married. She is now a confident and self-assured mother of two and a successful Dove Award-nominated recording artist. Having found her identity in God, Beckah hopes her music will help others to learn the truth about who they are.

“You’ll never be able to please everybody,” Beckah says. “Find out what pleases God and what God wants for you.”

PRAYER: God, let me see myself as you see me. Reveal to me the person you have created me to be so that I may please you. Amen.

Listen to “GOLD” by Beckah Shae.

I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul.
Jeremiah 32:41 (NIV)

Only one thing sustained me. I reminded myself: God put me here for a reason. I may not know what God wants me to accomplish, but this is part of God’s plan for my life.

I’ve grown, changed, met new people, and had experiences that I wouldn’t have had in New York. Even the negative experiences have taught me something about myself and my faith. Six years later, I’m even more sure that my moving to Oregon was part of God’s plan for me.

—Autumn Cutting, 17

The Realization

Just when I’m finally setting down roots,
God comes and transfers me
to another pot of people.
“Why must I go through this pain?” I ask,
only to realize
that sometimes we must be moved
in order to grow.

—Sarah Cannon, 17

Days before the start of my senior year in high school, I learned that what I thought was important to my identity—concert choir, drama club, track team, youth group, church praise team—could be taken away in a blink.

I remember it vividly. My sister and I had just returned from youth group when Dad called us into the living room. The unmistakable seriousness of his tone was frightening. For my entire life, Dad had been the pastor of our church; but I sensed that was about to change. Dad began to fight back tears as he and Mom attempted to explain the details of a difficult situation at church. When they finished, my father spoke the words I feared: We are moving. I was devastated. I was a week away from starting my senior year of high school, and everything I knew was about to be stripped away.

Five days later, I was sitting in a new school, hundreds of miles from home. I felt bitter at my parents and God. I didn’t understand how they could let this happen. Deep down, I knew something bigger was being fashioned in my life and the life of my family; but I didn’t want to see it. I wanted to be angry. I hated my new school and made no effort to make friends.

Two months after we moved, I had a huge argument with my parents. I told them that they had ruined my life. It was the biggest, loudest fight I remember ever having with my family. After the storm had calmed a bit, Mom said with a trembling voice these words I have never forgotten: “Son, I am sorry that we’ve hurt you. I wish more than anything that we could have prevented this. But now you have two choices. You can continue to be angry and bitter. Or you can hold your head high, accept your circumstances, and make the best of this situation.”

Later that night, when I was alone, I made a decision and I prayed: “God, I’m hurt. I miss the way things were. I don’t know why this had to happen, and I don’t understand what you’re trying to do; but I trust you. I’m going to do my best.”

I began to let go of the bitterness. I stopped resenting my parents. I started opening up to relationships at school. I began performing at school and playing in the chapel band. I got the lead in the school play. I was even voted winter homecoming king. Amazing blessings made my senior year exciting and memorable. It was as if God were saying, “Caleb, trust me. I know exactly what I’m doing.”

I learned that God’s plan is always better than mine. Change hurts, but the growth I experience because of change makes me stronger and more reliant on God. I learned that my identity isn’t found in the place I live or in the social groups to which I belong; my identity is in God and the work God has begun in me. God has a perfect plan for all of us and will be faithful to see it completed.

DIG DEEPER

These four steps will help you through a difficult transition:

1. Accept that you can’t change what’s already happened. You can change your attitude.
2. Realize that God’s plans are always better than yours.
3. Know that you are not alone. Feeling sorry for yourself is easy if you’re the only person in the world who has ever gone through hard times, but that simply is not the case.
4. Remember that it’s not about you. God wants to use you, but your personal comfort is not the issue. You’re an important piece of God’s greater plan.

Take time to listen to “Outta My Mind” by Anthem Lights. “The lyrics of this song always remind me to think outside my own little world and to focus on what God is doing. If we forget about our problems and realize that God wants us to be part of a bigger plan, our pain and struggles can help other people and glorify God.” —Caleb

When the disciples asked Jesus for a Prayer 101 course, he taught them what we now call “The Lord’s Prayer.”

Have you ever wondered, How should I pray? Jesus’ disciples wondered too—so much so that when Jesus returned from praying one day, one of the disciples said, “We want to know how to pray. Please teach us.” And Jesus did.

The words Jesus spoke are known by many as “The Lord’s Prayer.” This prayer is recorded twice in scripture: Matthew 6:9–13 and Luke 11:2–4. The words of The Lord’s Prayer that you learned may be slightly different from those other people learned and may be a bit different than the words recorded in either of the gospels. Jesus was not concerned about the precise wording of the prayer. Jesus was offering us examples and suggesting that when we come before God, the content of our hearts and minds should include humbleness, praise, thankfulness, petition, and confession.

Read The Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6:9–13 or Luke 11:2–4. Then read the ecumenical version printed below in bold and reflect on the meaning of Jesus’ words as you read the contemporary prayer that follows each section.

Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.

Father, you live in heaven, and we live on earth. You’re the Creator,
and we are the creation. Your name is holy, and we will honor you.

Your kingdom come,
your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

Your timing is perfect; and we desire your will and your ways to be realized in our lives,
not just someday in heaven but today on earth.

Give us today our daily bread.

God, you provided bread for the Israelites when they were wandering in the desert.
Please meet our basic needs, as we trust you to provide for us each day.

Forgive us our sins
as we forgive those who sin against us.

You know we struggle with sin. We are imperfect, and we need your strength.
Forgive us as we strive to forgive those who commit acts of sin against us.

Save us from the time of trial
and deliver us from evil.

When difficult situations come up and we are lured away from what is right,
protect our minds, hearts, and bodies so that we don’t give in but walk away from temptation,
holding tightly to the truth.

For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours
now and for ever. Amen.

We know that all things are in your control and within your power,
and so we offer you praise, O God. Amen.

—Kate Elise Gutierrez, 24

DIG DEEPER

I used to believe that prayer was a time to close my eyes and to ask God to give me what I wanted. My prayers were only about me and the people I loved. As I learned The Lord’s Prayer, God transformed prayer into a time when I humbled myself, acknowledging God’s will over mine. I began to understand prayer as a time to forget about my wants and to consider the needs of others and of the community of faith. Read The Lord’s Prayer again and notice how many times you say the words your, our, we, and us. Ask God to transform your prayer life.

—Dale Lipscomb, 20

Can I Trust God?

Lately I have wondered: Are we alone in the universe? What is our purpose here? Why am I doing all this schoolwork? I’ve also wondered about salvation: Are we destined from birth to go to heaven, or do we have to make a decision to become a Christian?

Proverbs 3:5 (NIV) says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” When I begin to wonder, I turn to God in prayer. Sometimes God has a way of showing me the answers. Other times God lets me know that I simply need to trust that God is working for good in all situations.

—John Storer, 19

Can I Be Content?

My family and I were watching Animal Planet, when my dad said, “Have you noticed that nothing in nature ever clashes? Everything goes together.”

When I look at pictures of rainforests or oceans, the different colors, patterns, and textures amaze me. Yet nothing ever seems out of place. The fashion police don’t say that nature would look slimmer if the fruit bats were on a different tree. No matter how many eyes or legs an animal may have, it seems to fit perfectly in its environment.

I wonder: If I let myself be content with where God places me, would I be like the animals in the rainforest or in the ocean? Would I be at peace in my environment, fulfilling my purpose in the world as no one else can?

—Nan Johnson, 21

Can I Wait for Answers?

When I ask God questions, sometimes I find answers quickly; other times I have to wait or to dig deeper. For some questions, I may never have answers on this side of heaven. First Corinthians 13:12b (GNT) says, “What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete—as complete as God’s knowledge of me.” God knows everything. If we will know as we are known, then we’ll understand much more in heaven than on earth!

It’s important to me that Jesus asked questions. Luke 2:41–47 says that as a youth, Jesus sat in the temple listening to the teachers and asking questions. I wonder if Jesus found answers?

At least he taught us how to search for answers—by asking God for guidance, turning to God’s word, seeking counsel, and being patient. When I ask God to direct me, God often reveals answers with gradual, subtle hints. I have learned to trust that God will give me understanding in God’s own way and in God’s own time.

—Bethany Abrams, 19

DIG DEEPER

We get caught up in wondering about all the bad that happens. Why didn’t God heal a loved one? How could God allow an earthquake to kill thousands of people?

What if we spent time wondering about good things? Read Psalm 8:3–4. What if we wondered about God’s marvelous creation and about God’s choosing us and loving us as God’s children? What if we wondered about Jesus’ coming to earth, not only to die for our sins but also to live among us and to show us the way to a genuine relationship with God?

Next time you begin to ask, “Why, God?” remember all the good things God has given us and let yourself be filled with wonder.

—Rachel Spoelman, 19

I pray the Lord my goals to keep.

A lot of goals, a lot to do,

’cause I can’t skip the homework due.

I must say YES when youth group calls.

I won’t miss band or basketball.

Don’t let me die before I wake;

tomorrow has too much at stake.

May angels guard me through the night

and wake me with the morning light,

so I can tackle a new day

without exhaustion in the way.

And if the twinkling time should come,

I pray the Lord I’ve got things done!

Amen.

“Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest.”
Matthew 11:28 (GNT)

PRAY: Ask God to help you slow down and enjoy life.

Have you ever stopped to think about the questions God asks? For many years I missed them somehow—perhaps because I thought of the Bible as a book of answers. Then one day, it was as if God said, “Trevor, rather than always asking questions of me, why not listen to the questions I have for you?”

There are things God wants to talk about with you. Take a moment to reflect on three of the questions God asks the people of God. Listen to them as if they were being addressed to you personally. Then respond to them from your heart, and you will find yourself being drawn into a closer relationship with God.

Where Are You?

The first question comes from Genesis. Adam and Eve are in the garden and have disobeyed God by eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Their closeness with God and with each other is instantly destroyed, and Adam and Eve hide. Then the Lord God calls out to them, “Where are you?” (Genesis 3:1–9)

Where are you? To answer God’s question, begin by telling God what is going on in your life at the moment. Share with God your joys, your sorrows, your shame, and your fears. Yes, God knows these things already; but this conversation is not about giving new information to God. Instead, it is about coming out of hiding and learning to speak openly with God. When you do, you will begin to experience the closeness that honest conversation can bring to your relationship with God.

What Are You Looking For?

Jesus asked this question right at the beginning of his ministry. John the Baptist was talking with two of his disciples when Jesus walked by. John pointed toward him and called out, “Look, here is the Lamb of God!” Intrigued by this description of a passing stranger, the two disciples started to follow Jesus. Suddenly he turned around and asked them, “What are you looking for?” (John 1:35–38)

What are you looking for? A good way to begin answering this question is to reflect on your deepest desires. What do you want most? What are you looking for at this time in your life? What kind of person do you want to become? Tell God what you long for, and ask God to help you sift through your desires so that you may turn away from the ones that are destructive and follow those that reflect God’s heart.

Why Are You Weeping?

The third question comes from the story of Jesus’ resurrection. Mary Magdalene was standing outside the tomb, weeping because Jesus’ body, which she had come to anoint, was gone. Imagine for a moment the depth of her anguish and confusion. Not only had her Lord and friend been crucified, but apparently someone had stolen his body. Suddenly the question was asked, first by some angels, then by the risen Christ: “Mary, why are you crying?” (John 20:11–15)

Why are you crying? Hear this question being asked by someone who loves you and calls you by name. As you think about the pain and sorrow in your life, know that you are not alone. As your answer begins to take shape in your heart, share it with the risen Lord. Maybe your pain is locked up so deeply that you don’t know how to express it. You feel sad but don’t know why. Know that Jesus hears the prayers of your heart, even when you have no words. Perhaps this is also a good time to seek help from an adult you trust.

I hope that reflecting on God’s questions will inspire you to explore the many other questions God asks in scripture. If you do, I promise they will lead you into a whole new conversational relationship and a deeper intimacy with God.

DIG DEEPER

As I wrestle with questions God asks, my faith comes alive. God’s questions ask me to look deeply and honestly into my heart. They challenge my relationships. They focus my attention on the suffering in the world. Somehow they get inside me, with a power to change me from the inside out. I invite you to reflect this week on the questions asked in these scripture passages: 1 Kings 19:9–13, Job 38:1–7, Mark 8:27–30.

The solid metal door of the jail cell opened briefly and slammed shut. This was not my first time in jail. Only eighteen years old, I had tried to quit drinking and drugging numerous times. I had lost every last bit of hope. The cold concrete bench seemed a fitting end for my miserable life.

How It All Began

Growing up, I had caring parents, two younger sisters, and everything I needed tucked inside a cozy home. On the outside, my life looked spectacular. On the inside, I was shy and afraid. In a room of friends, I still felt alone. Something was missing from my life—as if there were a hole in my soul.

The hole was filled the first time I smoked marijuana. My fears seemed to vanish; my friends and I laughed; and for the first time, I felt good. I felt OK being me.

At first, the payoffs for using drugs were wonderful and the consequences were minimal. I felt that nothing bad could happen to me. I thought I could quit whenever I wanted. Gradually, the payoffs became smaller and the consequences greater. Still, getting high was the only thing that made me feel comfortable in my own skin.

Consequences

Within three years, I flunked out of public school, completed a two-month wilderness camp for teenage addicts, attended and was expelled from a boarding school, got kicked out of a treatment center, and got in trouble with the law. After every incident, I thought the next time would be different. In retrospect, I was doing the same thing over and over again and, for some reason, expecting different results.

Eventually, drinking and smoking weed weren’t exciting enough. I began to smoke, snort, eat, drink, and drop anything that would keep me from being sober. I stole, lied, and hurt people to support my habit. Getting high was my around-the-clock goal. I was a drug addict and didn’t even know it.

One night, I was snorting cocaine in a little room in the projects. I sat on a bare mattress on the floor. An outside street lamp provided the only light. I felt utterly disgusted with myself. How did my life get to this point? Everything was falling apart.

I knew it was true, but I didn’t know how to stop it.

On June 27, 1999, I passed out while driving my car and hit a telephone pole. I regained consciousness in the wreckage with my airbag deflating and glass all over me. I limped out of my crumpled car. An hour later, I was in jail. I assumed my life was over, and I experienced hopelessness I had never imagined. In that moment, a prayer started within me: “God, I hope you’re up there; and if you can help me, I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

Recovery

God answers prayers. Upon leaving jail, I entered another treatment center and was finally ready to listen. I did whatever they told me to do. A man named Rick taught me how to pray on my knees in the morning and at night. After treatment, I got involved with a Twelve Step program that changed my life; and today I am blessed to help other men recover from alcoholism and drug addiction.

It has not been easy. Early on, sobriety was extremely difficult. I counted the minutes and hours, trying not to drink or use drugs. I prayed continuously and tried to put one foot in front of the other, slowly moving in the right direction. When I entered college, I found that my experience could help others. After graduation, life led me into youth ministry; and I will enter Duke Divinity School this fall. Eight years later, I am still sober. And I still pray on my knees morning and night.

DIG DEEPER

Addictive behavior “feeds” on the garbage in our lives. One way to fight addiction is to “take out the trash.”

• Resentment is old anger. Do you still think about that friend who betrayed you or the parent who doesn’t understand? Write about the people who have hurt you. Pray for them, and ask God to help you forgive them.
• Fear is like corrosion that eats away at our lives. Write about your fears. Pray, asking God to take away your fears and to help you trust in God.
• Making amends, or putting things right, is a courageous activity that offers us freedom. Who are the people you have harmed? To whom do you need to say “I’m sorry”? Ask God to help you make amends.

Dominic played that role to the hilt. He was living an iconic high-school version of the American Dream, but his dream turned dangerous. “I was experimenting with drugs and alcohol and was in bad relationships with girls,” he says. “There’s something about everybody looking at you as The Dude; you tell yourself, Hey, you’re in control, you call the shots, it’s all about you. That was kind of the beginning of my rebellion.”

Dominic began to emerge from his self-centered self-deceptive nightmare when he was arrested for stealing. “I had become a kleptomaniac in junior high and high school. I would steal stuff just for fun. I would have two bucks for a bag of potato chips, but instead—well, it was just the thrill. I got addicted to stealing.”

Addiction can be particularly deceptive when you’re The Dude. In a video store, he forgot to pull off the tag on one of the videos he was stealing. As he left the store, the security buzzer went off. Lyrics from “American Dream,” the title song on his latest reggae-pop hip-hop album, reflect that episode:

I was never told that the high life
Would demand my soul such a high price

A month after his arrest, he decided that being The Dude was not his dream anymore. He left that dangerous life behind. He left The Dude behind. He decided to follow Jesus.

In his new life, Dominic gave Coach another laugh: Dominic quit the football team to pursue a singing career. If his story were featured on a certain musical TV show, the football hero would also be the glee club star; but that’s not how this story plays out.

Dominic learned quickly that his new Christian life had its own risks. First, of course, he lost the status that came from being The Dude. Then he had to figure out how to pursue singing when, out of eight siblings, he was apparently the only one in his family gifted with tone-deafness. The first days of his new life were lonely ones. He didn’t know any other Christians his age.

But something seemed right about this new life. Miraculously and inexplicably, he did learn to sing. Dominic has also learned that no life is safe. In fact, for Dominic, the so-called American Dream is really about pursuing a false sense of safety, “to set up our lives so that we are comfortable.” Dominic wants to inspire folks to a different kind of life. Again from the song “American Dream”:

What about a dream where the Kingdom comes
Peace on the earth and his will be done
What about a dream where the people fight
Not for fortune and fame but for saving lives

What about a life of loving God and loving neighbors? To paraphrase a line from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe: Of course that life isn’t safe, but it’s good.

DIG DEEPER

Read Genesis 12:1–3. If God wanted to bless the world through you, where would God send you? What would God ask you to do? What is the difference between the American Dream and God’s dream for you? How can you hear God’s dream for you? What is your next step toward living God’s dream for you? What are the risks? What might be the rewards?

1 John 4:7-12 tells us that friends are gifts of God.

Do you have trouble relaxing? Let Emily Hoffman and Rachel Spoelman encourage you to give it a try!

Get Away

To relax, I go to the park and swing. The swings are my get-away, where I unwind from a hard day. When I sit in a swing and push off, my worries and fears seem to melt away.

Then Jesus said, “Let’s go to a place where we can be alone and get some rest.”
Mark 6:31b (CEV)

Swinging gives me time to be alone and to think. I can sort through my day and calmly put things in perspective. Then I love to pray, asking God to give me patience and strength to get through the next day.

If you need some time alone, why not go to the park and swing? I highly recommend it!

—Emily Hoffman

THINK ABOUT IT: My mom has always said, “Time with God is not wasted time. It is the best-spent time in your day. There’s no need to rush because if you learn to put God first and to spend time with God, you’ll always have time for the other things you need to do.”

—Rachel Spoelman

Until now, I had always read this in other translations as “You hypocrites!” I would never call my self a hypocrite; but yes, I do pretend. I pretend that I’m not hurt when I am, I pretend that I’m not diappointed when I’m crushed. I pretend that things don’t matter when they do. I pretend a lot.

The heart is deceitful above all thing.
Jeremiah 17:9a (NIV)

But pretending makes me unreal, dishonest, a liar—not the person God wants me to be. Now I am learning to be honest with myself and with others. I am learning to acknowledge the hurt and the disappointment that I’ve tried so hard to cover up. I am learning to forgive others—and myself.

I am also learning to be honest with God, to admit my mistakes and to ask for forgiveness. Through the practice of forgiveness, I can let go of the hurts and disappointments instead of burying them deep within or covering them up with a happy face. I don’t have to be a pretender—a hypocrite. I can be real; I can be the person that God created me to be.

SAY A PRAYER: Ask God to help you to be honest about your feelings with yourself, with others, and with God.

Since it’s National Simplify Your Life Week, check out teen author Emma Sleeth’s ideas for living simply. If you need extra encouragement, Emma suggests that starting with little things can make a big difference: “The more you simplify your life, the easier it gets. Simplicity is self-perpetuating because the more you do without, the more you realize you don’t need.” You can do it! Read on . . .

Emma Sleeth on Living Simply

Caring for and perserving the environment had always been a big thing for Emma Sleeth and her family; but when they became Christians, they decided to simplify their lives as well.

They moved to Vermont and then to New Hampshire, to a smaller house with no computers, no TV, and fewer possessions. They built the house themselves with a conscious effort to live more simply and to avoid harming the environment.

Recently, the family moved to Kentucky so that Emma and her brother could attend Asbury College without the energy-consuming travel back and forth to New England. Now these siblings walk to school every day, and the Sleeths are walking to the store, riding bikes, and doing all they can to be good stewards of the planet.

Learning to Live Simply

The struggles of living simply were different for each member of her family. Emma’s dad decided to give up the money and prestige that came with being a doctor. Emma struggled to live by God’s standards and her own standards instead of by the world’s definitions of success. Emma sometimes finds it hard to explain to other teenagers why she’s not on Facebook or why she doesn’t IM or check her email compulsively. Even she admits that technology has its allure. “I see a TV and think, ‘Oooh, look at all those images,’” she says with a laugh.

“The more you simplify your life, the easier it gets,” Emma explains. “Simplicity is self-perpetuating because the more you do without, the more you realize you don’t need.” Living simply becomes easier, Emma says, because you have so much less to worry about.

It has also brought her family closer together. “We don’t have barriers in our family. We’re a lot more focused on one another than on outside things and materialism.”

Little Changes

Not sure you’re ready to live simply? Emma says, “Start with the little things.”

• Walk or ride a bike. Both options are good exercise, emit no noxious fumes, and offer time to enjoy God’s creation and to greet neighbors along the way. If you can’t ride or walk where you need to go, carpool, take public transportation, or do your errands all in one trip.
• Take the stairs. Running an elevator takes a lot of energy. By climbing stairs, you get some exercise and save energy at the same time!
• Wash dishes by hand. OK, it’s not fun; but it’s better for the environment—and it’s a great time to reflect on your day!
• Hang up clothes to dry. They will last longer. Besides, five pounds of greenhouse gas are released into the atmosphere with every load you put in the dryer.
• Downsize your house, car, clothes, and other possessions. Making and maintaining all that stuff uses resources and energy (including yours!)—and who really needs fifty T-shirts anyway?

Emma offers more ideas about living in ways that protect the environment in her new book It’s Easy Being Green: One Student’s Guide to Serving God and Saving the Planet. Her father, J. Michael Sleeth, has also expressed his passion for the environment in the book Serve God, Save the Planet: A Christian Call to Action.

DIG DEEPER

“Everything we do affects people somewhere else,” says Emma. “Everything is connected.” Think about how living simply is a way of loving not only the earth but also our neighbors around the world. How does having less give more to others? How would having less stuff free you to invest yourself in relationships with others and with God?

Hypocrite is not a word we like to hear, especially when it’s aimed at us; but it hasn’t always been a negative term. The word hypocrisy traces its roots form ancient Greek hupokrisis, which referered to acting a theatrical part. It was a term from the stage. Professional actors engaged in hupokrisis. They put on another face, if you will. Their goal was to be such a good hypocrite, to be so convincing that their real identity disappeared for a while. Whey the play was over, they took off their pretend face and became themselves again.

Totally Convincing

Actors today do the same thing. Some are more convincing than others, but the great actors are able to set aside their own personality and take on the personality of the character they are portraying. For example, for the movie Miss Potter, which tells the story of British author Beatrix Potter (of Peter Rabbit fame), the Texan-born actress Renée Zellweger perfected a British accent. If she didn’t get it right, British moviegoers would have spotted the fake. What’s interesting is that Renée didn’t just speak with a British accent when the camera was rolling. She used the accent the entire time she was on set. In order to play Miss Potter convincingly, she practiced the role even when the audience wasn’t watching.

Her approach made for good acting. But what if she had never dropped the accent, even when the filming was over? What if she had come home and spoken to her family and friends with a British accent? Everyone would have begun to worry whether she could distinguish her real personality from the character she was playing.

Becoming the Part

In fact, many actors struggle to separate themselves from the parts they play. The same may be true for us in life and faith. We know we shouldn’t be hypocritical, acting one way in one setting and a completely different way in another. What we often don’t realize is that eventually we become what we pretend to be.

When we pretend to be something we’re not, over time we lose sight of our real self. This can be good and bad. On the negative side, we can become so involved in bad friendships or destructive behaviors that eventually we can no longer see the person God originally created us to be. Our true face is eventually lost. On the positive side, once we have committed our lives to Christ, the old sinful self is precisely the face we want to lose. The Apostle Paul writes, “As many of you as were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.” The longer we practice the new role God gives us in Jesus Christ, the more like Jesus we become. Eventually, that new role becomes our true identity. Our old self has been transformed.

You can only act a part for so long before the role takes over your life. The question is this: Will it be a role that helps you become more like Jesus or one that distorts your true self?

DIG DEEPER

As you get dressed in the morning, consider your clothing as part of the role you play. What does your clothing say about the person you want to be? Is the person you dress the real you, or are you playacting? What, if anything, does your clothing indicate about your faith? If you wanted to be more like Jesus today, what would you wear?

Sara didn’t see the ball roar into the strike zone, nor did she see it fire off her bat. But she felt it; and when she did, Sara knew the ball was gone. A senior at Western Oregon University, playing for the school’s first trip to the playoffs, Sara Tucholsky hit the first homerun of her softball career. She took off around the bases as the shot cleared the centerfield wall. As she rounded first, she overstepped the bag and turned to go back for fear of being called out. That’s when her knee gave way, and Sara crumpled to the ground.

Mallory, who was playing first base for the opposing team, Central Washington University, didn’t see Sara fall. She was focused on the ball and on winning her school’s first trip to the playoffs. When she turned around, Mallory Holtman noticed Sara lying in a heap, crying in pain. She also saw the coaches and umpires trying to decide what to do. Replacing Sara with a pinch runner would reduce her homerun to a single, and allowing Sara’s team to carry her off the field would constitute an automatic out. No one was sure what to do—until Mallory had an idea.

Asking a Simple Question

After she fell, Sara could think of nothing but the pain in her leg. She wasn’t sure what the CWU first baseman and shortstop wanted as they approached. They introduced themselves and asked, “Can we carry you?” Sara nodded, “Yes.”

So Mallory and her teammate Liz Wallace cradled Sara in a fireman’s carry, and the three players went slowly around the horn. Mallory and Liz stopped to let Sara touch each bag. The girls giggled as they made their collective homerun march, wondering what they must look like from the bleachers.

With Sara finally across home plate and back with her team, the cheering crowd quieted and the game resumed. “It didn’t register with me until I reached the dugout,” said Sara; but she knew that what had happened was amazing.

Without knowing it, Mallory, her school’s career homerun leader, had helped Sara keep the one and only homerun of her career. This experience drove home for Sara the importance of the “little things you can do for others without knowing what kind of impact they will have.”

Looking Beyond the Scoreboard

Mallory’s idea to carry Sara came naturally. Her philosophy is “when someone’s down, you help them up.” Even though the homerun could affect the outcome of the game and her team’s trip to the playoffs, she approached the umpires and coaches with her plan. When they agreed, she asked Sara’s permission.

“Walking slowly around those bases, we felt like we were in a bubble; we started laughing,” Mallory says.

Their laughter, however, wasn’t audible above the cheers. By now, the game was about much more than the final score, which was yet to be determined.

The homerun trot occurred in the top of the second inning. After nine, Mallory’s Central Washington Wildcats had lost 2–4. Sara’s homerun wasn’t the decisive blow, but it made a difference.

“Twenty years down the road, you won’t remember the scores; but you will remember the relationships. They go way beyond winning,” Mallory says. “There are things a lot bigger than scores.”

Changing the Game

When it happened, Sara and Mallory didn’t see what the big deal was about. Sara had been coached to be a good player and also a good person; Mallory maintains that she only wanted to do the right thing. That’s probably how, at the top of the second inning on a sunny day in April, Sara and Mallory unintentionally changed the perception of how you play the game—for all those who were watching and for hundreds more who would hear their story.

DIG DEEPER

How do you play the game? Sara says that players should never do anything out of character and should stay true to who they are both on and off the field. Mallory believes that actions in a game go way beyond the field. The next time you’re playing sports, before the first pitch or the opening kickoff, say a prayer that your actions during the game will reflect your true character and the true spirit of God’s love.

I was born a daddy’s girl. Fond memories from my early childhood include the times Dad and I spent together after I should have been asleep. Mom would get me settled for the night; then Dad would come home to rescue me from bed-time. We would watch TV, chat about the things four-year-old girls and their dads chat about, and eat bananas. Bananas taste especially delicious as a late night snack!

I don’t remember much about the day my father left. I know some furniture left with him. I know that my Mom and I were sad. My younger brother cried too, though he wasn’t old enough to understand.

My parents spent the next seven years sorting out their relationship and our lives before the divorce was final. Even now, they are loving, caring, wonderful parents; and they’re friends, presenting a united front for my brother and me.

But this story isn’t about my parents. It’s about how I dealt with being caught in the middle. When my parents separated, my heart felt like it separated too—split right down the middle—and I was left to put the pieces back together. No one could sort it out for me. I had to decide whom to love, whom to blame, and where to find God in this difficult chapter of my life.

I didn’t talk things out; I figured them out in my head. If I had known then what I know now, I would have told my thoughts and feelings to a trustworthy adult. Having the perspective of someone older and wiser, who cared about me, would have been a blessing. But I tried to make sense of my parents’ divorce all by myself, in my own mind.

Some days I blamed myself for their breakup. I thought that if I hadn’t come along, they would have stayed together. I’ve come to realize that this is a lie. God does not waver when it comes to the plans for each of God’s children. Scripture makes it clear how valuable and precious each of us is to God and how wonderful God’s plans are for us. But at the time, I didn’t quite trust God, so I didn’t ask for God’s help. I took matters into my own hands.

I may have been born a daddy’s girl; but during my early teenage years, I built a wall between my dad and me. Maybe I longed for him to be a part of my everyday life and couldn’t deal with the reality that he wasn’t coming home. Maybe I was frustrated and confused because I had never talked with him about the situation. Perhaps being a teenager made my relationship with my parents even more complicated. I’m guessing the combination of all these factors helped to fortify the wall between us.

Dad wasn’t the only one who received the “wall treatment.” I protected my heart from my mother too. I did not always respect her authority; I liked to think I was in charge of my own life. In my mind, my parents’ divorce gave me the right to make my own decisions. If they couldn’t figure out their own lives, how could they possibly know what was best for me?

Only when another authority took hold of my life did my attitude toward my parents change. God knew everything about me and loved me more deeply than I could comprehend. I realized that God had cried with me, my brother, and my parents during the divorce. God knew how much I missed my father and longed to fill that empty place in my heart. As I learned to trust God’s authority, honoring and respecting my parents came more naturally.

The God of the universe, our loving heavenly Father, heals the broken places in our hearts. God longs to meet us where we are, to cry with us when we cry, to hold tightly to our hands when we find ourselves caught in the middle. Let God be there for you today.

DIG DEEPER

Look through Psalms, Isaiah, Jeremiah, and Job for an example of someone who cries out to God about being caught in the middle. Write one of these passages in your journal, and add it to your prayers. Ask God to help you when you feel caught in the middle, or pray that you may be a comfort and an encourager to a friend who is caught in the middle.

Today’s devo talks about being caught in the middle of your parents’ divorce, a tumultuous experience that can be magnified if one or both parents is an alcoholic.

Learn more about the disease of alcoholism, how it can affect families, and why dealing with an alcoholic parent might leave you feeling angry, frustrated, disappointed, sad, embarrassed, worried, lonely, or helpless. Also find out what you can do to protect yourself and to help break the cycle.

If you are not facing these issues in your family life, give thanks — and pray for your friends who are.

Giving from Our Blessings

The school was large, comprised of four schoolhouses, four dormitories, and assorted other buildings, such as outhouses and offices. In nearly every classroom, water damage had peeled the paint off the walls. Ceilings were warped and caving in. Graffiti scarred every wall. The windows were jagged edges of broken glass.

Upper Umvoti Combined School had nothing we consider basic: no cafeteria, nurse’s office, flush toilets, toilet paper, sinks, heating systems, lockers. Many of the classrooms had no desks, so students wrote on the floor. Dirt courtyards lined the open spaces between the rooms, and trash was scattered everywhere. All grades, one to twelve, were in the same school; so two hundred students, or “learners” as South Africans say, were crammed into that small, dingy, dangerous space. For days, we scrubbed, painted, tore down ceilings, put in windows, and installed lighting systems.

Giving In Return

Every day while we worked, the students worked with us. And while they worked, they sang. Every single one of them sang—even those who could barely hold a note. They sang power. They sang life. They sang defiant joy that looks around and says, “Yes, this may be where I live, but my heart lives here too.” In the midst of poverty and despair, they sang hope. Compared to them, we don’t sing at all. When they caught us looking at them, though, they stopped singing and laughed. And we saw that they were just like us.

The moment that moved us most was when the students of Upper Umvoti Combined School decided to serve us. We were painting one of the classrooms when the students, singers, workers—the people we had come to help—served us tea. They brought us water, tea, and muffins on clean plates; and we were humbled by their hospitality, especially since they didn’t have clean plates for the students’ meals each day. In the midst of everything they lacked, they were serving us tea.

DIG DEEPER

Out of our blessings, we gave a lot to Upper Umvoti Combined School, cleaning up, building, and repairing. The students also found ways to give back by working with us and serving us tea. Think of how much you have been given. Consider giving back by giving to someone else. They sing in South Africa for a reason; they sing for hope. In what ways can you give others something to hope for, something to sing about?

When I was a high school freshman, I learned Newton’s laws of motion. Newton’s first law states that an object in motion stays in motion until something makes it stop and that an object at rest stays at rest unless something makes it move.

I wasn’t all that good at science, but I believe Newton’s law tends to hold true for human beings as well as objects. When I have lots I need to do, I work like a horse to get it all done, sometimes to the detriment of my health and my relationships. But when I don’t have much to do, I often neglect the little that needs to get done.

I’ve seen my children help a neighbor move, study for AP tests, work toward Tae Kwon Do belt advancement, help wash the dinner dishes, and knock out a research paper all in the same day—without stopping until we make them go to bed. I’ve seen the same kids do nothing more in a day than click the remote, go to the bathroom, and refill their soft drink cups. If we ask them to do a chore, you’d think we were asking them to move a mountain.

Newton’s law isn’t the only one at work in the world. God provides a rhythm that we are meant to follow. We’re not made to work all of the time, but we’re not made to sit around playing video games for days on end either.

A good friend of mine warns those of us with workaholic tendencies that the command to honor the Sabbath is “only two away from murder in the Big Ten.” He believes God is serious about our taking time to rest.

On the other hand, many people forget the first part of the commandment: “Six days you shall labor and do all your work” (Exodus 20:9, NRSV). Most of us whine about going to work or to school five days a week. The people who first heard God’s commands probably worked every day from sun up to sundown. The truth is that God wants us to work hard.

The admonition to honor the Sabbath, while partly about resting from work, is also about recognizing God’s importance in our lives. If our day of rest is full of nothing but movies and video games, we often don’t end the day rested; so we’re not rejuvenated and ready to get back to work. The difference comes from engaging in activities that give life and renewal rather than those that simply encourage laziness.

I love a good movie, and I enjoy video games. If I let myself, I’ll spend hours engrossed in them and not get the rest I need. When I honor the Sabbath, I spend time in truly restful endeavors: napping, walking alone, cuddling with my wife or kids. I can tell that I have truly honored the Sabbath when I end the day not only grateful for God’s blessings but also invigorated and ready for work.

DIG DEEPER

Make a list of activities that make you feel better after you’ve done them. What else could you add to the list? How about reading a novel, rappelling down a cliff face, learning to water ski, or taking a four-hour nap in the middle of the day? Make a point of trying out different ways to honor the Sabbath.

Think about sabbath activities you do during the rest of the week. Are you missing opportunities to be more effective in your work or better prepared for work in the future? Pick one or two ways to change your leisure activities so that you can serve God more fully.

You know it’s time for a lazy day when . . .

1. Someone asks what you like to do with your free time; and you laugh sarcastically and answer, “What free time?”
2. Your friends nickname you “fuddy-duddy,” “killjoy,” or “party pooper.”
3. You fall asleep at your computer while doing your homework.
4. You envy people who tell stories about how they have fun.
5. You write two pages before you finish your “To-do” list.
6. You are up and going as soon as the alarm goes off in the morning–and sometimes before it goes off.
7. You do any of the above, and it’s a Saturday.
8. You are driving, and you try to get stopped by the red lights so you can close your eyes for one minute.
9. Your fishing pole is dusty.
10. Your friends tell stories about all the parties, movies, trips, and adventures you have missed.
11. You carry a calendar, student planner, or palm pilot–everywhere.
12. You do any of the above, and it’s a Sunday.
13. You hear fireworks going off, but you’re too busy studying to watch them.
14. Your friends begin to ask, “What are working on now?” instead of “Would you like to hang out with us for a while?”
15. There is a permanent dent in your thumb where you hold a pencil.
16. You stop paying attention to the weather outside because you never get to go out.
17. You do any of the above, and it’s a holiday.
18. You are becoming the teacher’s favorite student.
19. You read an article about “workaholics,” and it sounds all too familiar.
20. Your English teacher asks you to write an essay about what you did on vacation, and you have to make up a fantasy trip.

DIG DEEPER

READ Genesis 2:1–3.

PRAY: Dear Lord, my life is hectic. Help me not to become so overwhelmed with work that I forget to play, so preoccupied with what I have to do that I forget what I want to do, and so exhausted by meeting the demands of others that I have no time to satisfy the needs of my own spirit. Let me stop and relax with you, so that my spirit is refreshed and I receive your gifts of happiness and peace. Amen.

“Forgive and forget.” From our earliest years, we hear these words. Mom says them when we come home crying after being made fun of at school. The babysitter says them after our sibling destroys our fort made of blocks. I’m sorry to say this advice is false, misleading, and unachievable. The brain is a memory machine. To purposefully forget is impossible. To forgive, however, is possible—and not only possible but necessary. I highly recommend trying it.

In the Bible

Forgiveness is one of the key principles of Christianity. By sacrificing his life, Jesus graced us with eternal forgiveness. His crucifixion and resurrection redeemed humanity from any and all earthly sins. And as children of God, made in God’s image, we are given the capacity to forgive others and ourselves.

The Bible provides us with many examples of forgiveness. My favorite is the parable of the prodigal son. An estranged son returns home to find that his father’s forgiveness and love overshadow any transgressions the boy had committed.

Those we love frequently hurt us, intentionally and unintentionally. The harm they do may take the shape of major offenses like lying or cheating, or it may be as simple as a sarcastic comment gone wrong. And whether or not we want to acknowledge it, we too are guilty of hurting the people we love. After all, we are human.

How to Forgive

We often fail to acknowledge that forgiveness is not about the other person as much as ourselves. When we are hurt, we carry an emotional burden as a result of the pain; but God asks us to release that burden. When we forgive, we consciously recognize the offense and release the other person from our anger or retaliation. Even more important, we free ourselves from the power of the negative feelings associated with the wrongdoing, releasing them to God, who wants to carry them for us.

As a child, I was frequently made fun of for enjoying the theater. Instead of playing sports, hunting, or doing what many people classified as natural activities for boys, I preferred singing, dancing, and rehearsing for the next community theater production. For many years, I harbored deep negative feelings toward people who laughed at me because of my passion, and I desperately tried to forget their offenses against me.

Not long ago, I realized that no matter how hard I tried, I would never forget the people who laughed. I couldn’t forget their biting words. But I could forgive. I asked God to take my burden and to help me release the damaging feelings so that I could forgive the people who had hurt me. God granted me freedom of the heart and mind.

God wants to absorb our suffering. In return, God gives us freedom. Experience God’s freedom. Forgive.

DIG DEEPER

Think of a situation in which someone you love hurt you. What emotions do you feel as a result of the offense? Make a list. Then, in prayer, go down your list and ask God to release you from the bond of each of your feelings. Conclude your prayer by asking God to help you forgive.

What’s it like to be a professional athlete at the age of 20? What are the ups and downs of the tour?
“I’m having pretty much the time of my life.” It’s great to do something I love for a living. Also, I get to travel; I see countries I wouldn’t see otherwise. The ups are playing well, moving up in the rankings, and getting good exposure. One of the downs is that a good run can change pretty quickly, and sometimes it’s a challenge to keep my losses in perspective.

When did you decide to become a professional tennis player?
By the time I was 15, I knew I wanted to give tennis a shot. I had a gift for the game. I’d won nationals for my age group; and when I started playing inter­national events, I did well. My family supported me and encouraged me to do my best. I wanted to see how good I could get.

How do you deal with the stress of the tour? find time for family and friends? make time for God?
It’s important to have a set playing schedule so that I don’t get too tired, mentally or physically. It definitely helps to have interests outside of tennis, but it’s tough being on the road so much. Keeping in touch with my family isn’t that difficult, thanks to cell phones. Friendships are a challenge though. I didn’t form a lot of close friendships at home because I was always traveling, so most of my friends are other tennis players. Making time for God is an even bigger challenge. Because the tour schedule is so demanding, I am rarely able to go to church while I’m on the road; but I try to be a moral person and stay in contact with God through my everyday life.

You must have a lot of determination. What drives you to do your best?
“For any athlete to be good at his or her sport, he or she must have desire and motivation; that’s what fuels the passion. If you don’t have passion and motivation, it doesn’t matter how talented you are; . . . you’re not going to do your best.” I’m a very competitive person, wanting to win at everything. I don’t like to lose. Whatever you do, “you’ve got to have a winning philosophy.”

How do you prepare mentally for a match? What keeps you focused on the court?

I think the biggest thing is sticking to a routine with which you feel comfortable, but there is a fine line between routine and superstition. I think I have a little bit of both. Before a match, I play out points in my head and try to get into a focused state of mind. At other times, I put on my ipod and listen to tunes.

It can be hard to keep your focus when you’re way up because you don’t have to play as hard. But I normally don’t have that I problem; I try to beat my opponent by as much as I can. If I’m down, the main thing that keeps me focused is not wanting to lose.

What advice would you give to young people who are struggling to follow their dreams?
Take care of things you can control. With motivation, desire, and hard work, the results will come. You have to be able to handle losing because it’s going to happen. Don’t doubt yourself but learn from your losses. Never lose confidence.

Dig Deeper
Read 2 Timothy 1:7. Brian says, “If you don’t have passion and motivation; . . . you’re not going to do your best.” How passionate and motivated are you about your faith? How can you develop a “winning philosophy” about the way you live out your faith? How have you learned to handle setbacks or failure without losing confidence?

Talking to Your Parents about Sex

Once upon a time you could tell your parents anything. Now, there may be some things you don’t want to tell them or some feelings you just can’t express. Would it surprise you to learn that your parents may feel the same way?

When their children become teenagers, many parents find it harder to express their affection. So often their words come out as a plan for how you should be better. Sometimes they seem downright angry. Long stretches of time pass in which you and your parents say nothing of substance to each other. You may as well be living on different planets.

I know how it is. I’m on my fourth teenager. Why can’t I say what my heart really feels? Why is conversation so awkward for all of us?

1. I love you so much it takes my breath away. I know I can’t run over and pick you up any more. I can’t blow on your tummy or talk to you in public with a silly voice. But my heart still overflows with boundless love for you. Sometimes I sneak a peek at you when you’re sleeping and remember that you’re still my little one and always will be. No matter what comes out of my mouth when we fight, the truth is that I love you more than my own life.

2. I know that I have messed you up. I haven’t always been fair. I have had expectations that were too high and too low. Some days I came too close, and others I stayed away too long. I didn’t always listen well. You got the best of me — and the worst of me. I live with the pain of knowing I have made your life harder. I hope you’ll be able to forgive me.

3. When you talk to me, it makes my heart sing. When you were little, you talked to me all the time. I took for granted that you’d always talk to me. Now when you don’t, I miss you. So I ask a ton of questions, enough to make you so irritated you clam up. What I want to say is that your words are precious to me. You give me joy when you talk a little bit about your life, your joys, your concerns, your plans, and your dreams.

4. Your words have a lot of power. One word of gratitude will get me through a month of silence. If I never feel appreciated by you, I feel diminished. But when you say, “Thanks,” my whole life is better. I don’t expect a letter every day telling me what a great parent I am; but if you notice that I pick up after you or cook a meal for you, give you a ride when I’m busy or give you money when I’m broke, that bit of thanks does me a world of good.

5. All this God stuff is true. You know what a poor Christian I am. You could prove in court that I’m a hypocrite. But I have come to know that Jesus is the meaning of life. The secret of joy is in the presence of Jesus, and our deepest comfort in times of trouble is his peace. Underneath all the day-to-day jostling of our lives, my deepest desire is that you will know Christ and find joy in your life.

Dig Deeper

If this article came to you as a letter from your parents, how would you feel? How would you respond? Write down five things you wish you could say to your parents. Consider showing them this article and your response.

When I was a kid, I didn’t always like what my parents said, but I assumed it was law. As I grew older, I rebelled against some of the rules but still thought of my parents as lawgivers. Once I became a parent, I realized that parents make up a lot of the rules as they go along. Most of us have very little idea what we’re doing.

Don’t get me wrong. We do the best we can with the information we have—which is where you come in. Teenagers who keep their parents informed about what’s going on in their lives—key decisions, important relationships, emotional highs and lows—will find their parents much more interested in negotiating boundaries.

Studies show that parents and kids of all ages communicate less than they did when your parents and grandparents were growing up. On top of that, parent-child communication decreases as children become teenagers and again as teenagers become young adults.

God does not want a communication void between parents and children. One of the Ten Commandments is “Honor your father and your mother.” God wants children to honor their parents. Even though I’m a grown man with five children of my own (one of whom is old enough to have kids of his own), God still expects me to honor my parents.

You can help reverse the trend toward non-communication in your family. Parents distance themselves from teenage children either because they sense their kids don’t want them around or because they feel unqualified to deal with a teenager’s issues. You can help by avoiding actions, words, and attitudes that suggest you don’t want them around. Your parents are only human, and they can only take so much attitude before they start distancing themselves from you—if not physically, at least emotionally.

You can also reduce their feelings of parental inadequacy by inviting them into some of your decision-making. The truth is that most parents want to be involved in their kids’ lives. When you ask them to help you make better decisions, you honor them. They won’t have all the answers you need, and part of your job as an adolescent is to begin to find additional counsel. But the mistake most young people make is to seek advice only from friends (who are also trying to navigate adolescent waters, which makes most of them bad advice-givers) rather than from trusted adults and, yes, even parents.

Actually, teenagers have way more power in their relationships with parents than they might think. Most parents want to have quality relationships with their teenage children. When teenagers make an effort to keep lines of communication open and when they ask for advice (and not only for money, car keys, or a later curfew), their parents are delighted to walk alongside them through the turbulent years of adolescence. Besides that, parents who feel connected to their teenage kids are more likely to lighten up on the rules and to allow more freedom.

DIG DEEPER

Make a list. What do you wish your parents would do differently? Make a second list. What do your parents wish you would do differently? Take the first list and put it in a sealed envelope. Then pray every morning and night, asking God to help you become the person described on the second list. After sixty days, pull out the first list. In most cases, the degree to which your parents have changed or are willing to change will be directly proportional to how much you have been willing to change.

Our high school mini-mester was coming up, and I had prayed a lot about where to go. (Mini-mester is short for “ministry semester,” a week off from school in which each student serves the Lord by serving others.) Last year, I traveled to the Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico to work on service projects. I had watched the video about serving in El Salvador but decided not to go there because the project involved evangelism. This year I felt God saying, “That’s where you need to go. Get out of your comfort zone.”

Getting Started

Before leaving, we talked and prayed about how we would offer the message of Christ to these people. The day after we arrived in El Salvador, sixteen students and two adults went out in pairs with a translator. My partner and I went into a village and took turns presenting the gospel. We explained the Romans Road to salvation and invited people to a movie, the Jesus film, which would play that evening.

Going up to a stranger and talking about God isn’t easy. The first time we approached someone, I was so nervous that I couldn’t think of anything to say. I let my partner take over.

Hearing my partner’s conversation encouraged me, and I spoke to the next person we met. Getting through that first time gave me courage to continue. We talked to people of all ages, to parents and older teens in the villages and to younger kids in the schools.

Gaining Confidence

A woman named Michelle, who lived in one of the villages, agreed with us at first; but then she said, “I’m good enough. I’m a good person.” Then we showed her Ephesians 2:8–9 (NIV): “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast.” Her face lit up as she began to understand that salvation was a gift of God that comes through faith and that there was nothing she could do to earn it.

I know a little Spanish (my grandparents are from Cuba), so I didn’t always have to use a translator when I worked with the little children. When we went to schools, we took colorful bracelets to explain the steps of salvation; and we told the students, “Salvation is a free gift. God gives us salvation just as I’m giving you this free gift.” One little girl talked to me for a while. Later that night in the village, she told me that she had shared with her parents what she had learned from me at school. How encouraging!

Knowing that I couldn’t witness on my own, I prayed throughout the trip that God would give me the strength and courage to talk to people about Jesus. God answered my prayers. On the last day, I talked to a whole class of fifth graders by myself for forty-five minutes.

I’m no longer afraid to bring up the gospel in conversations, and I’ve seen how God can use me if I’m willing to step out of my comfort zone. Many of the people I talked with prayed to receive Christ. At the end of the trip, our group counted 1,160 professions of faith.

DIG DEEPER

Our verse for this year’s mini-mester was: “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation” (Mark 16:15, NIV). I plan to keep on doing that—right here at home. Join me in talking about God’s gift of salvation and in helping others to know and follow Christ. You may be nervous about talking to someone about Jesus; but after the first few times, it gets easier. And I promise that God will give you the strength you need.

It’s true! This fact doesn’t get as much press, but guys suffer from abusive relationships too.

Abuse can be physical, emotional, verbal, or sexual. It can happen in a dating relationship, in a friendship, or in your family. The abuser may be a stranger, an acquaintance, a bully, a friend, or someone you love.

Find out if your relationships are healthy, or if they are showing signs of abuse.

Explore the various kinds of abuse, why it happens, and how it can affect you.

Most important, if you are being abused, talk to an adult you trust and ask them for help.

For more information or resources, check out these websites and hotlines.

A guy I dated was abusive, although I didn’t realize it at the time. He never raised a hand to me. All the abuse was emotional and verbal, yet the scars were just as deep. For years afterward, I feared people who were aggressive. Sometimes I overreacted when a guy, in all innocence, did something that reminded me of the previous relationship. At other times, I surrounded myself with guys who were laid-back and passive. I was bored, but at least they were safe.

Then God brought a different man into my life. He had a strong personality; but he was patient with me and gentle, and I slowly realized he wasn’t going to hurt me. I started to understand that God was using this relationship to break down my fears. Not all extroverted and aggressive people are bad. I needed to be able to tell the difference and to recognize abusive behavior.

Now that I am healing, I am learning more about this form of abuse. Most people recognize hitting and sexual assault as abuse. But emotional abuse usually starts subtly and gets worse as time passes.

What are the signs?

• Control or Manipulation. I pay attention if a guy is trying to get me to do what he wants or to keep me from doing what I want. My ex initially got his way by claiming that he was protecting me, but he was checking up on me throughout the day to see where I was or what I was doing. Later, he became jealous if I spent time or energy on anyone or anything besides him. Control is an early warning sign of abusive behavior; so in a new relationship, I see how a guy reacts when something upsets his plans.
• Criticism or Blame. Does your date ridicule your hobbies, beliefs, family, friends, choices, talents? An abusive guy gets upset if things aren’t done his way; my ways are never good enough. He criticizes in public, spreads rumors, or tells disparaging jokes about women. He also may continually bring up my past mistakes or blame me for his bad behavior.
• Threats or Intimidation. When I did something he didn’t like, my ex threatened to leave me. If I considered breaking up, he talked about suicide. Some guys will also threaten your family members or friends. Other forms of intimidation may include driving recklessly, destroying possessions, or name-calling.
• Taking No Responsibility. No matter what he did wrong, my ex always had an excuse. Sometimes, the reason was circumstances. Sometimes, it was me. Sometimes, he offered no explanation at all.
• No Respect of Boundaries. When I said something was off-limits physically, he kept trying. When I needed to get off the phone or to stop instant messaging so I could sleep, he started a new conversation. Abusive people tend to disrespect boundaries in all areas of a relationship.
• Isolation. How does a guy handle relationships with his friends and mine? Abusive people tend to isolate their significant other, so I find out how willing he is to meet my family and friends.

I don’t need to be paranoid. Sometimes a good guy will slip up and make a mistake. With a lot of time and hard work, I am starting to see the difference between people who are abusive and those who are honest but occasionally miss the mark.

DIG DEEPER

Make your own list. What scars do you bear from an abusive relationship—with a guy or girl? How do they make you more willing to accept abuse or to abuse other people? to distrust other people? Read Philippians 4:8–9. Pray for God’s peace and guidance in all your relationships.

Educate Yourself. Become familiar with this list of abusive behaviors to watch for in your relationships.

Pentecost is no different. Except that in Pentecost I feel the most out of my comfort zone. It is the season where it seems like everything in my spiritual life is up for grabs, though not in the joyful, miraculous, second-chance-at-life way of Easter as when the stone is rolled away from the empty tomb. Rather, in a more wild, willful, unruly way as the Spirit is set loose in the world. And, as I read and reflect on the texts of the Pentecost season, I often feel like the faithful thing for me to do is simply buckle my seatbelt, hold on tight, and try my best to enjoy the ride, which, when fueled by the Spirit, can be like a ride on a roller coaster: amazing and thrilling, but also terrifying and unsettling. Both kinds of rides have ended with my breathless promises to never do them again.

And yet because I believe that God is a God of order and not chaos I have come to appreciate a method to the Spirit’s madness. This playful, wild Holy Spirit is a God who unsettles us, teaches us, reminds us of the ways of God we so often forget, One who calls us to take holy risks and go out on limbs trusting God even when the limbs look too short from a distance. And this wild Spirit of unfamiliar invites us to practice certain disciplines during Pentecost, disciplines that will most likely be different for each of us because we serve a God who knows each one of us uniquely and intimately. The disciplines might be cultivating listening and discernment, learning new ways of praying, or even very tangible new ways of engaging in daily life—serving and seeing in ways that take us out of our comfort zone. I feel specifically called to pray differently.

Now, I am fairly direct and honest in my communication with God. That is to say, I talk back a lot. Remember the nagging woman and the judge parable in the Gospel of Luke (18:1–80)? Well, I am not the judge. I am very forthcoming with my thoughts, my desires, my confessions, and my emotions. I figure God can take it. But for me, Pentecost is one of the few times during the church year when I feel led to practice being less-specific with my prayers—a bit more quiet and attentive in our ongoing conversation—giving the Spirit room to search my heart and to intercede as the Spirit sees fit. This also opens me up to listen for and follow God’s guidance in ways that I may not have come up with on my own. It is a time when I try to keep my expectations of God wide-open in a “go ahead and do your thing God” sort of way.

Pentecost is a season where I imagine God inviting me to build my faith muscles, to believe in power and possibility that is beyond me, beyond my wildest dreams and my most fervent prayers. Pentecost is also the season in which I am strangely and uncharacteristically reminded that this whole “God breaking forth in the world” thing is not just about me. What God is doing in the world, in our little and big communities, is big and bold and life-altering. What God is doing draws all of us in and affects all of us. What God is doing through the power of the Holy Spirit invites us to consider how all of us communicate and live with God and by extension, with one another.

I hope each of us can figure out a fraction of how this wild Holy Spirit might want to lead, teach, and roughhouse with us this particular Pentecost season. And I hope we give the Spirit room to do exactly that.

Learn how Moses held on through a long battle in Exodus 17:8–13.

Sometimes life’s battles carry on for so long that our souls grow weary and we long to give up. But as soon as we give up, we will lose the battle. Seeking help from Christian friends can give us the extra push we need to keep going. When we work together, trusting God and giving one another strength, the victory is ours!

JOURNAL: Who are the Aarons and Hurs in your life? Write about a difficult time when these friends gave you the strength to press on.

The phone rang. Had I known this call would change my life, I would have run a little faster to answer it. On the line was a girl I had never met. Her name was Darchelle. Since our parents knew each other and we were around the same age, she thought that we should be friends.

As we became closer, I realized how special she was and how much I needed a friend like her. We swapped stories about being preachers’ kids. We found a sense of sisterhood in being the only girls among a brood of brothers. We laughed and even prayed together. Darchelle showed me God’s grace.

The Pain of Disease

Darchelle suffered from a painful and life-threatening disease called sickle cell anemia. It deprived her body of oxygen-rich blood and caused episodes of extremely painful circulation in her chest, joints, arms, and legs. Sometimes the crises were unbearable; and she would end up in the hospital for days, weeks, and even months.

Sickle cell caused emotional pain as well. Darchelle’s self-image suffered as she lost her hair and her eyes turned yellow from jaundice. At times, she needed a cane to stand and to walk. People didn’t understand, and their stares and careless remarks hurt her deeply. Darchelle endured the ache of disappointment. The unpredictable nature of her disease disrupted her daily plans and canceled her dreams for the future. Day after day, year after year, she missed out as life passed her by.

Inner Strength

Darchelle learned to cope with her discomfort and frustration. She had bad days, but she never complained about the way life had turned out for her. She lived one day at a time, cherishing each moment she had been given. Nurses poked IV needles into her veins; but God was at work too, pumping supernatural doses of strength, peace, and joy into her spirit. Second Corinthians 12:9a (NIV) says it best: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Instead of moping around, Darchelle became the perfect hostess. From her sick bed, she served drinks, music, good conversation, laughter, and encouraging words. Evident in her life were the words of Isaiah 12:2a (NIV):

Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song.

The Ministry of Suffering

Although Darchelle has gone home to be with the Lord, her life has left in my heart a portrait of God’s grace. Even though she was in agony, as God’s ambassador, she smiled and was kind to others. She celebrated life, even when she had no apparent reason to rejoice. Darchelle used her disease as a stage on which to spotlight God’s power and all-sufficient grace. I’m forever grateful that God loaned her to this world, even for just a little while.

DIG DEEPER

Think about this lesson Darchelle taught me: sickness, hardship, and discomfort may be blessings in disguise. In them, we see our limitations and come to lean more fully on God’s grace. Let Isaiah 40:27–31 and 2 Corinthians 12:9–10 speak to your heart today.

I often wonder what my life would be like without my disability. I would be able to tie my shoes, and I would be able to run. A myriad of tasks would be simpler. Sometimes I wish my life were different, but then I would be a completely different person. I was born with cerebral palsy, a condition that makes it difficult for me to walk and to perform tasks requiring fine motor skills. Cerebral palsy has dictated everything I have ever done or ever will do. On the other hand, I don’t know how to live without it; I can’t look back at what I have lost.

I used to hate the word disability. I didn’t want people to apply the term to me, but I got upset when they didn’t. I thought I had to prove myself and that asking for help was a sign of weakness. I was miserable and angry. I never felt as if I belonged. I thought that people did things for me because they felt sorry for me. The idea that they could like me for who I am was incomprehensible. Finally, I realized that I had two choices: I could cry about something I was powerless to change, or I could learn to deal with it.

I am not completely OK with my disability. I am frustrated by having to improvise to do simple tasks. I wonder what I did to deserve this. I can’t comprehend that I am not a mistake. I wonder why God allowed me to be this way. I cannot walk without crutches, but still “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14a, NIV).

I recently finished treatment for malignant melanoma, the most severe form of skin cancer. I had two surgeries to remove the tumor on the back of my arm because the cancer had reached such an advanced stage. I was unable to move; and in ten days, I had lost over half of my mobility. For the next eighteen months, I was on medication, hoping that all the cancer was gone and would not return. I had to learn to walk again, and I could do nothing without assistance. Looking back, I am thankful for the experience. Being completely helpless, along with the bilious side effects of the treatment and the uncertainty of my fate, taught me that I can no longer take my life or my limited mobility for granted.

In the way I live, I try to show that my disability does not define who I am; my scars are only on the outside. Some things I will never be able to do, but my life is not tragic. I have learned to change my perspective and to focus instead on what I can do. I no longer think that God is cruel. I definitely would not have asked to have cerebral palsy; but through it all, God has been with me, shaping me into the person I am.

DIG DEEPER

Read Exodus 4:11 and John 9:1–3. Think of all that God has given you. Focus on what you normally take for granted—your ability to walk, to see, to speak—and give God thanks. Encourage people you know who have a disability. Pray for them and remember that they too are made in God’s image.

While at college, I got into some pretty big arguments with my dad. I was growing up, and becoming an adult changed the way I related to Dad. In my head, I had an image of who Dad should be; and he didn’t measure up.

Things got so bad that I decided to seek help at the student counseling center. Every week for a year, I talked to a counselor about how things were going with Dad. The counseling paid off, not because Dad changed but because I changed. I came to see that what was wrong with our relationship wasn’t Dad; the problem was my expectations about who Dad should be. I was so busy measuring Dad by my expectations that I had no time or energy for a relationship with the man Dad actually was.

As I let go of my expectations, my relationship with Dad improved significantly. I began to notice things about Dad that I liked. I noticed the ways he communicated his love to me. One example: I had wondered why Dad never called me. If I wanted to talk, I had to call him. What I hadn’t noticed was that Dad sent me cards on every holiday. He not only sent me cards, he made them personal. He crossed out words and wrote in his own. He drew pictures all over them. He highlighted words and always included a brief note. He often sent money. When I quit measuring Dad by my expectations, I noticed all kinds of things I had failed to see before.

Toward the end of the year, my counselor suggested that Dad join us a couple of times over a weekend. I wasn’t sure, but I trusted my counselor and invited Dad. I was surprised when he agreed to come. I was even more surprised by how well the weekend went.

Change and Transition

Change happens all the time, but transition only happens some of the time. Transition is the process of changing our expectations to fit changing circumstances and situations. That weekend was a transition point for me. I was able to move from an old set of expectations, which were causing me a lot of trouble, to a new set of expectations that let me have a real relationship with my dad.

That weekend was also a transition in the rest of my relationships. When I became aware that my expectations of Dad were unrealistic, I realized that my expectations of other people might be unrealistic too. Learning to love my dad for who he was helped me learn to love others as well. Now that’s a big transition!

DIG DEEPER

The disciples’ expectations of Jesus—who he was and what he was about—were often wrong. Look up Matthew 16:13–24, Luke 18:15–17, John 4:1–42, and Acts 15:1–21. Then write about how the disciples had to take a second look at their expectations.

For whom do you hold unrealistic expectations? What steps can you take to begin to love this person for who he or she is?

The word viral has long been used to describe infectious diseases. More recently, the term has been associated with computer viruses. Now viral is also used to describe the successful spread of videos or images online. Videos that have gone viral include five seconds of drama with a hamster, cute babies laughing, cats with attitude, music videos, clever cartoons, even a rant from someone’s bedroom.

What Makes a Creative Piece Go Viral?

Unilever hit the viral charts with “The Dove Evolution,” a video that features a woman being made up, styled, photographed, and “retouched” for an advertising campaign. The film got people talking about ways the media make us feel about our bodies.

Cadbury went viral with a video clip of a man in a gorilla suit, playing the drums to Phil Collins’ hit “In the Air Tonight.” Why the excitement? The video was pure entertainment, a gift from the chocolate manufacturer. (Of course, they failed to get permission to use the song, so the original video is no longer available online. )

“The Digital Story of the Nativity,” put together by an advertising agency in Portugal, tells the story of Jesus’ birth using social media, web, and mobile technologies. The video is meaningful, funny, and clever, offering a contemporary way to experience the Christmas story. The video spread quickly through blogs and has been shown in churches around the world.

Tips for Creating a Video

• Spend some time thinking through the concept for your video. Do you want to promote something or someone? Do you want to relay a message? Do you want to inspire action? Do you want to bless people with a gift? Is your idea fresh and to the point?
• What format will you choose for the video? Will you do on-the-street interviews? Will you go with a scripted drama, a personal revelation, a confession, or a rant? Do you want to try stop-motion animation? an animated text? a stunt? a music video?
• Recruit a team. Look for people with abilities in scriptwriting (deciding who says what), art direction (thinking carefully about setting, props, costumes), directing (helping actors do their best), filming (getting the angles and lighting right), sound design, mixing, editing, visual effects, and music.
• Keep it short. Most viral videos are between 15 and 60 seconds long.

Ethical Considerations

As far as possible, make sure your material is original. Use original music or music in the public domain. Respect the privacy of others by getting their permission before including them in your video. Avoid inciting hate, distrust, or suspicion.

Seeding a Video

Getting your material out there is an art form in itself. Encourage your friends to help you spread the word. Get help from people who have large online audiences.

DIG DEEPER

Take the challenge! Use your passion, your creativity, your faith to create a short video with a message. Share it with your friends, your family, your youth group, and your church family.

Better yet, before August 15, 2012, enter your video in devozine’s “Go Viral” Video Challenge and spread your message to young people and adults around the world. To get started, visit www.devozine.org today!

While I was growing up, Dad had an old Canon AE1 camera with all kinds of interchangeable lenses and flashes. He would take the camera to sporting events and, with a huge zoom lens, would snap incredible action shots that made you feel as if you were right in the middle of the game. It was an awesome camera, and I loved the pictures Dad created.

Following in my dad’s footsteps, I decided to take a photography class while I was in college. My dad loaned me his AE1. I loved the class so much that I took every other photography class my school offered. The creativity fostered in those classes kept me sane throughout college.

Another creative outlet I had in college was leading a boys club in the projects on the south side of Chicago. I needed to be creative to organize a bunch of college students to go down to the projects each week and to come up with something to do with the kids once we got there.

I got to know quite well a couple of the young men at the boys club, and I decided to mix up my two creative outlets. One day, I brought my camera to the projects with me, and I gave the boys a chance to take pictures of their lives from their perspective. On another day, I invited my young friends to come to my college portrait studio to take portraits of each other. When we were done, we developed and printed the film, a side of photography the boys had never experienced. Those two days were eye-opening for all of us, and we produced a lot of creative images.

The Creativity Circle

As I think back on this creative act, I see a kind of completed circle. My dad gave me the chance to be creative by showing me the fun in taking pictures and by lending me his camera. I passed that joy on to other children and loaned them my dad’s camera (supervised, of course) so that they could learn how to create images.

Actually, the circle is even larger. In the beginning was God’s creative act (Genesis 1–2). God enjoyed creating. At the end of each creative day, God stepped back to survey the work and declared, “It’s good!” Then God created humanity in God’s image and declared, “Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Part of what it means to be made in the image of God is receiving this gift of creativity and the joy that comes from creating.

God gave my dad the desire to create. My dad gave me the desire to create. I passed on the desire to two boys. I like to think that our shared creativity helped open their eyes to something beyond the projects. I hope it gave them a chance to see that they could be creative too. Most of all, I hope it gave them a little insight into the joy our Creator felt in creating each one of us.

DIG DEEPER

What do you like to create—pictures, videos, drawings, food, scrapbooks, websites, plays, songs, gardens? Think of two or three younger kids to whom you can pass on your knowledge, love, and joy of creating. Offer to spend a day teaching and mentoring them in creativity. You’ll live out the image of God in you by sharing creation with someone else.

Bullies: Some live in your neighborhood, some go to your school, some go to your church. Bullies have always been a part of my life.

In the second grade, a girl pushed me as I stood in line. “Hey!” I said, “You pushed me.”

 She screamed, “I didn’t push you!” Then she bit me.

The teacher asked the class if anyone had seen her bite me, but everyone denied it.

In the seventh grade, a kid shoved me across the hall because he said I was in his way. Another year, a guy called me names and picked on me every day, taunting me and spitting at me.

In grade school, I made it through the torment with prayer and steadfast belief; but now the pain was growing worse. I was pushed to the brink; I couldn’t take it anymore.

CHANGE

In 2006, my youth director encouraged me to go to our Youth Annual Conference (YAC). A bit skeptical, I thought, Sure, another place for kids to torture me! But I went anyway. That week, I met people who were nice to me; and I began to feel better about myself.

While I was at YAC, I heard about the Conference Council on Youth Ministries (CCYM), a group of United Methodist Youth from all over South Carolina who serve by helping other young people. I wanted to be part of that group; so although I was a bit reluctant, I decided to apply. I was so excited when I was selected!

About a week later, the CCYM went to Lake Junaluska, North Carolina. I met a girl named Gabriella Garrison, and we clicked because we had the same last name. She was kind to me and helped me to see a new side of myself. She encouraged me to pray in front of people; and when I did, my shell cracked open.

STANDING UP TO BULLYING

Once I was happier with myself and able to find strength in myself as well as in God, I realized that I could stop the bullying. I didn’t have to resort to violence, but I didn’t have to back down either. One day at school, a kid kicked my seat and shot spit balls at me. I just looked up and said, “Dear Lord, forgive him; he doesn’t know what he’s doing.” He thought I was weird, but he left me alone. From then on, God has protected me from harm.

DIG DEEPER

If you’re being bullied, maybe you too need to be bullied to the brink in order to stand up for yourself. And at the brink, may you find:

B-ravery to stand up and be strong.

R-ighteousness, which connects you to God’s strength and power.

I-ndependence built on belief in yourself and the courage to move on.

N-ever-ending belief in God, who will be with you when bullies come.

K-indness not only to friends but also to enemies and bullies. Now that I’m happier with myself and stronger in my faith, I’d like to thank the bullies who pushed me to the brink!

TIPS FOR DEALING WITH BULLIES

> Confront a bully or talk to his or her parents.

> Pray for bullies, for they may not know what they’re doing. Often they are acting out because of some pain in their own lives.

> Talk to an adult or an authority figure and ask for help.

TAB Member John Garrison, 16, of Greer, South Carolina, has published a book of poetry entitled Reflections of a Teenage Soul and is working on his autobiography, Unspoken Word: The Story of John Garrison.

Reading the Bible and praying the Bible are two very different undertakings. To pray the Bible is to apply listening and silence to the Word of God in order to hear God speak. This prayer method known as lectio divina, “divine reading” or the sacred reading of scripture, is being practiced by more and more young people and youth groups today as they seek to listen to God.

It All Started with Saint Benedict

Sometime after 500 c.e. an Italian we now know as Saint Benedict gathered a group of ordinary people into a community, which would be called a monastery. . . . To guide his community, Benedict wrote a rule, a set of guidelines for the common life and spiritual practice of the members. The purpose of the Rule was to help create a “school for the service of the Lord,” a place where people could come and learn how to be with Jesus.

One of the three primary tools of this school was reading; the other two were liturgical prayer and work. Yet this was not the kind of reading we know today. Rather, Benedict prescribed lectio divina, sacred reading, a prayer practice designed to cultivate contemplative listening. For it was through such listening that the monks could become aware of the presence of the Holy Spirit in their hearts and minds.

This process of reading takes seriously the notion that the Bible is the living Word of God. Through the Bible, God can actually speak to the reader directly, now, in real time. What is required in order to hear God’s voice is a practice that teaches the believer how to “incline the ear of your heart.” In order to do this Benedict wanted the monks to ruminate on — literally to “chew” or “digest” — the Word of God, much as a cow would chew its cud. This practice became a staple of monastic life for fifteen hundred years and is handed to us as a gift from the distant past.

The Practice of Lectio Divina

Lectio divina, as a formal prayer practice, consists of four steps or phases. These steps are not mechanical activities you must perform correctly in a certain order to “get it right.” Sacred reading is a living conversation between you and God. In the same way that conversation with another person has rhythms, ebbs, and flows, so too does sacred reading. A rich, lively conversation encompasses times of listening and times of responding, times of speech and times of silence.

Use the outline below in your personal quiet time to practice listening to God.

DIG DEEPER

What if your prayer doesn’t follow the outline? What if you hear nothing? You may feel frustrated and angry because all you thought about during your prayer time was being at the mall or blowing the big game or something else seemingly unrelated to God. In a society that places ultimate value on “getting things done,” the experience of “nothing happening” can be maddening. However, from Benedict’s perspective, such “failure” is a normal part of our fallen human condition. If encountering God’s Word were easy, there would be no need to practice prayer! Prayer is not a product; it is a relationship. Even if you did not experience the wonderful event you imagined, God knows your intention. You wanted to spend time with Jesus, and in some way, you did. So express your frustration to God; ask for help and for the strength to try again. God does not require that we be successful, just faithful.

Individual Lectio Divina

PHASE 1, Lectio (reading/listening)

• Choose a passage of scripture. Although any passage will do, a psalm, a story about Jesus, or one of the poetic passages from a prophet works very well. For example, try Mark 1:14–20 or Isaiah 40:1–5.
• Read the passage to yourself twice. Don’t be caught by the literal meaning of the scripture. Rather, listen for the word or phrase that catches your attention.
• Silently focus on that word or phrase. Repeat it a few times. Allow it to sift through your heart and mind.

PHASE 2, Meditatio (pondering)

• As you continue to focus on your word or phrase, pay attention to the thoughts and feelings it evokes.
• What images, what thoughts, what memories come to mind?
• Continue to ask God to speak to you through this word, and listen for the reply.

PHASE 3, Oratio (responding)

• At some point you may find yourself wanting to reply to God. What desires has your prayer awakened in you?
• Maybe you have found an area of your life that needs some work.
• Maybe you are grateful for something and you wish to express that gratitude.
• Maybe you feel called to a new course of action in your life.
• Whatever you sense, do not rush the prayer. Continue to wait and listen as God forms your prayer and desire in your heart. Speak your prayer of desire, longing, or action to God. Continue to listen in the silence.

PHASE 4, Contemplatio (resting)

• In this final phase of the prayer, the conversation with God draws to a close. Having heard a word from God and having expressed your response to that word, you now allow yourself to rest in the silence.
• Allow your mind to settle.
• When you feel that the prayer has come to an end, express your gratitude to God. This can be as simple as saying “Thank you” or “Amen.”

OR try Lectio Online.

—This article is adapted from Creating a Life with God: The Call of Ancient Prayer Practices. © 2003 Daniel Wolpert. All Rights Reserved. Used by permission of Upper Room Books.

—If you want to try this prayer practice with a group of friends or with your youth group, use the outline for “LECTIO in a Group” on pages 176–177 of  Creating a Life with God. (To order, call 1-800-972-0433 or visit www.upperroom.org/bookstore)

When I was twelve, my most prized possession was my baseball card collection. I spent hours poring over the cards, memorizing the statistics on the back of them, and looking up their worth in baseball card magazines.

One card I wanted was not in my collection: a 1989 Upper Deck Ken Griffey, Jr. rookie card. Being the first card from his first year made it quite valuable. Though I had never seen it, except in a magazine, I loved that card—and I wanted it.

From time to time, Nathan and I got together to trade baseball cards. Nathan was 15 and the coolest guy on earth. He had an incredible baseball card collection, which he kept in a three-ring binder with protective sleeves. One day, I was flipping through his collection when I saw it.

With trembling voice, I said, “You have a Ken Griffey, Jr. 1989 Upper Deck rookie card?”

“Yeah, it’s my best card.”

“Well, of course it’s your best card,” I said. “It’s the best card in the whole wide world!” I wasn’t very cool.

I offered a trade. I put all of my favorite cards on the trading block for that one card. Nathan refused. I could have put my whole collection out there, but it would not have equaled the value of that one card.

I realized that because I had nothing to trade for the card, nothing to equal its value, my only hope was to receive it as a gift. I asked my family to get me the card for Christmas; but it was valuable, rare, and not-for-sale in the local store.

On Christmas Eve, my extended family came over to exchange gifts. We were eating, playing, and being a family when I heard someone pulling into our driveway. I ran out to welcome Nathan. With a strange look on his face, he handed me a white envelope. Inside was the 1989 Upper Deck Ken Griffey, Jr. rookie card.

I couldn’t believe it. The expression on his face showed he couldn’t believe it either. I hugged him. Now please understand, Nathan and I didn’t hug. He was 15, rode a 4-wheeler, and worked with livestock. Nathan just stood there with his arms outstretched while I hugged him. We never talked about it again; we didn’t know how. But I have never forgotten that extravagant gift.

GOD’S EXTRAVAGANCE

Ex • trav′ • a • gant  (adj): going beyond what is deserved or justifiable

The resurrection of Jesus was an extravagant gift of life. Make no mistake—it was not a fair exchange. God saw the plight of God’s people, their brokenness, their hopelessness; and God gave them the one thing they needed: Jesus.

We can give our gold, frankincense, and myrrh. We can dress up and go to worship on Easter Sunday. We can offer ourselves in service to the poor. We can give a number of beautiful gifts to God, and we can be sure they bring joy to God’s heart. But the gift of Jesus, God’s son, is a no-trade-possible gift. All we can do is receive the gift and then latch on to the giver in some attempt to say thank you.

DIG DEEPER

Read John 20:1–18. As you celebrate the resurrection of Jesus, the culmination of God’s extravagant gift for the world, consider what God is calling you to do. In response to God’s gift of Jesus, how can you give yourself to God? How can you give extravagantly to show another person God’s love?

Bethany Hamilton was surfing on Halloween morning, 2003, when a fourteen-foot tiger shark bit off her left arm. Her best friend’s father helped her paddle to shore, and she was rushed to the hospital. The loss of her arm was devastating, and many thought she had lost her future as a surfer.

But Bethany never gave up. Eager to be home and to begin her life again, she stayed in the hospital for only a week. Never doubting that God would use the shark attack for his glory, Bethany and her family found peace in knowing that God had plans for her, to give her “hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV).

Finding Her Way Back

Bethany may have lost an arm, but she knew she was whole in Jesus. Rather than dwelling on what she had lost, she focused on all she had found—joy, love, courage, and a plan for her life. She found joy in God, who had protected her despite what could have been a fatal shark attack. She found joy in her reformed body and her life. Only months after the attack, she found the courage to get back on the surfboard, to face reporters, and to tell the world that God hadn’t made a mistake. She found love from family and friends, who prayed for her and encouraged her, and from strangers, who sent her notes and organized fundraisers to help with hospital costs. She found a renewed understanding of God’s love for her and of her love for God. Bethany also found that God has a big plan for her life. “Looking back on the shark attack, I realize that God was watching out for me and keeping me calm. He kept me alive that day because he had plans for me.”

Telling Her Story

Bethany is now 17 and lives with her family on Kauai, Hawaii. Since the attack she has been on Today, 20/20, and Inside Edition. She has visited the Crystal Cathedral and has talked with evangelist Billy Graham. On every show, she talks about Jesus. “Jesus has given me lots of places to talk about him, so I know God is working through all this,” she says. “Jesus means everything to me. I never want to hide God.”

Bethany’s life has been crammed with excitement in the three-and-a-half years since the attack. She’s been featured on billboards and posters for The Foundation for a Better Life. Her poster says, “Me, quit? Never!” She’s gone to Thailand with World Vision to encourage children after the tsunami. She’s had two books published—Soul Surfer and Devotions for the Soul Surfer—as well as a line of Soul Surfer books that includes novels, a Bible, a devotional, and a question/answer about her life and faith. She received the “Comeback of the Year” award at the 2004 ESPY Awards. Bethany has also continued to compete and won the 2005 NSSA National Surfing Competition just nineteen months after losing her arm. She turned pro on July 1, 2007, and has plans to compete in England, Australia, South Africa, and Brazil. A documentary, Heart of a Soul Surfer, tells Bethany’s story; and a full-length feature film is scheduled to be in theaters this fall.

Despite all the TV appearances, books, surfing trophies, and travel, Bethany is a normal teenager. She’s doing homework, hanging out with friends, going to church, thinking about college, and following God: “If I hadn’t lost one arm I wouldn’t be sharing God’s love and message the way I can now. God put me on this earth to serve him, and I know that having one arm is the way he uses me. I’m so thankful that I can still surf and do everything I love, including telling others about Jesus.”

DIG DEEPER

When you have been devastated by pain, injury, or loss, who or what has given you joy, love, courage, and hope for the future?

PRAY: God, make us whole again so that we may serve you and spread your love. Amen.

Learn more about Bethany, her books, and her recently-released movie Soul Surfer at bethanyhamilton.com.

When I was two, my parents discovered that I had a profound hearing loss. But instead of looking at the size of the problem and asking, “Why Vicki? Why our child?” they asked, “How big is our Lord?”

Challenges

Every day was a challenge. I was frustrated with the obstacles I faced. I didn’t understand why I had to learn to read lips and to speak. I would throw a tantrum or shout, “I don’t want to!” But my mom, always the patient teacher, would say, “I know you can.” My mother’s voice became a constant echo in my mind, “I know you can. I know you can,” until eventually I began to say it myself: “I know I can.”

In high school, my biggest challenge was being in large groups. Everyone spoke at the same time, and I couldn’t follow the conversation. I felt left out, but I made the best of the situation; I learned to ask questions. I still have moments when I feel left out. I can’t speak on the phone, listen to the radio, or go to the movies. But I have adapted, using text messaging and email, reading the newspaper, and renting DVDs with subtitles.

All of us have survival instincts that give us the ability to adapt. Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, we can learn to make the best of our circumstances and to overcome the obstacles in our path.

Opportunities

When I was in my final year of high school, people said that I would be like Esther, using my beauty to save a nation. When I heard about the Miss Deaf South Africa pageant, I realized that Esther had won the Queen of Persia pageant. Taking that as a sign, I entered the pageant—and won.

As Miss Deaf South Africa, I stepped into a more public arena, with many opportunities to tell my story and to encourage others. As a motivational speaker, I often address the young people of South Africa. With primary school children, I talk about how I struggled with drama and ballet. I tell high school kids how I came to the Lord after a shooting accident that left me wounded yet grateful to be alive, instilling in me a deep desire to make something of my life.

Even as I participate in beauty pageants, I try to remember that we should not measure ourselves against other people. We each have our own path to walk. We try to develop the gifts and talents God has given us and to make the most of our decisions and circumstances. Rather than asking, “Why me?” we can ask “Why not me?” and seek to become the best people we can be.

DIG DEEPER

As a child, I knew that God had a purpose for my life, but I didn’t know what it was. As I grew older, I realized that life is not about what I want and what I need. Whenever people tell me that I have changed their lives or that they needed to hear my story, I know I’m on the right track.

Having a positive attitude is a choice, and it requires practice. We don’t have to complain or wallow in self-pity and bitterness. We are alive, and our disabilities or difficult circumstances are nothing compared to the gift of life. Let’s embrace life, choosing to be courageous, to ask questions, to be curious about everything. Believe me, feeling angry about your situation is a waste of time. Instead, we can choose to make something of our lives. By discovering our talents and gifts and focusing on them, we can become the people God intended us to be. Instead of asking, “Why me?” we can say, “How big is our God!”—for God truly is bigger than any of the problems we face.

When Athem Lights was recording “I Wanna Know You Like That,” I was thinking of a dear friend of mine. Her story inspires me to deepen my reliance on Jesus. Katie Searfoss has a faith that makes me say, “God, I want to know you like that.”

When Katie was a freshman in high school, she started having intense pain in her back. For two years, she met with urologists, rheumatologists, orthopedic doctors, physical therapists, and chiropractors. She had MRIs, CAT scans, and electric stimulation. Two years later, on her seventeenth birthday, Katie was told that she was not leaving Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia until the doctors figured out what was wrong.

She was diagnosed with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. RSD is a chronic progressive neurological condition that affects skin, muscles, joints, and bones. It is characterized by varying degrees of burning pain, swelling, and extreme sensitivity to touch. RSD cannot be cured overnight, with a pill, or with surgery. Katie’s brain was telling her body to feel pain when it should not, so her brain had to be retrained. The rehab process can help patients cope with the pain, but it does not guarantee that the pain will cease.

What touched my heart was that Katie never let the illness keep her from serving others. She was in the children’s wing of the church, teaching and loving kids, even though hugging them caused her physical pain. The pain would not stop her from showing God’s love. When I began recording and touring with Anthem Lights, she asked how she could pray for me. How could she be concerned for me when she was living with unbelievable pain? Her selflessness has rocked my world and challenged me to examine my own heart.

I asked Katie how RSD has changed her relationship with God. This is what she said:

“I’m extremely close to God. RSD has made me surrender my life to him. Of course, that is easier to say than to do, and in no way have I mastered it.

“Many people assume that I would be angry with God for ‘giving’ me this pain. I’m not angry. God loves me so much that he walks alongside me through the pain; instead of taking it away, God allows me to learn what I can from it. And in doing so, God gives me the opportunity to see the beauty that comes from this storm. That is radical love.

“I’m a bit of a control freak; I like to know what’s going to happen next. With RSD, there’s none of that. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. Will my pain spike? go away completely? remain the same? I don’t know. I don’t know where I’m going to be in thirty years. I don’t know what I can do with my life. I need to surrender my life, my plans, my RSD to God and follow his plan for my life. That’s not easy. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. God’s plans are far greater than mine.”

DIG DEEPER

Think of the people who inspire you most. Tell their stories. (Post them as Creative Work on this site — with a photo!) Thank these people for living their faith in a way that has influenced your life and caused your relationship with God to grow deeper.

Listen to “I Wanna Know You Like That” by Anthem Lights. Who has a faith that makes you want to know God more deeply?

Did you know that on the first Palm Sunday, two processions came into Jerusalem? From the east, Jesus rode a donkey down the Mount of Olives, cheered on by an excited crowd waving palm branches. From the west, Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor, entered Jerusalem, leading heavily armed foot soldiers and mounted cavalry. Imagine this scene for a moment.

The two processions are symbols for two radically different ways we can live our lives today. On the one hand is Pilate, whose way of life is defined by violence, force, and superiority. On the other hand is Jesus, whose way of life is one of non-violence, gentleness, and vulnerable love. One of the most critical decisions we make is to choose between these two ways of living. We face the choice every day, in almost every area of our lives and our relationships. Think about the contrast. There are

>  two ways to have a conversation, the way of Pilate or the way of Jesus;
>  two ways to resolve conflict, the way of Pilate or the way of Jesus;
>  two ways to relate to our families, the way of Pilate or the way of Jesus;
>  two ways to lead people, the way of Pilate or the way of Jesus;
>  two ways to treat people you don’t like, the way of Pilate or the way of Jesus;
>  two ways to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, the way of Pilate or the way of Jesus;
>  two ways to drive your car, the way of Pilate or the way of Jesus.

I must be honest. Choosing the way of Jesus isn’t easy. His way is radically different from the way our culture usually operates. Each day we are surrounded by loud voices and powerful images that urge us to live Pilate’s way. We are encouraged to get our own way, to be in control, to show other people who is in charge. Tragically, those who follow Christ hardly notice that society’s way of living is at odds with the way Jesus calls us to follow.

How sad it is when Christians betray the gospel by going along with the way of Pilate. We say that we believe in Jesus, but we do not follow him. Perhaps we can understand why people look at Christians and see no reason to believe in Christ. Our lives are not radically different from the lives of those who do not confess Christ.

The time has come for the emergence of a new generation of radical Christ-followers, young people who are seeking each day to live the Jesus way, the way of non-violence, gentleness, and vulnerable love. Are you willing to become a part of the Jesus revolution? Make no mistake: Following Jesus requires courage. But, as we step into the procession, we hear the good news: The one who rode into Jerusalem from the east will step out of the gospels and into our lives as a living, active, empowering presence.

DIG DEEPER

Think about what following Jesus means in your everyday life. What’s different about you because you are a Christian? How do non-violence, gentleness, and vulnerable love play out in your relationships at school? at home? in your community? Begin to think twice before you act. Are you following the way of Jesus?

>> To learn more about the two processions and about the ways Pontius Pilate and Jesus entered the city of Jerusalem that first Palm Sunday, check out the book The Last Week by Marcus Borg.

I sat on a bench inside the home made of mud and sticks. Rain fell steadily on the thatched roof. We had finished our chai tea, a staple of Kenyan hospitality, and prepared for the little speeches that are customary before visitors depart. Mostly the adults talked, but some of the younger kids and a classy-but-quiet high school girl gave it a try. My friend Linda, who is a missionary, whispered to me that in rural Kenya, learning to speak in this type of setting is part of growing up.

Finally, it was my turn. Sammary, the Kenyan ministry partner, translated my English into Kipsigese while I tried to communicate what was pounding in my heart. I thanked these beautiful women for showing me what family and hospitality were supposed to be, and I promised to tell others of their example.



Uncommon Hospitality

Earlier that day, when Joyce, her baby, Linda, Sammary, and I first arrived at this family’s home, I had watched as Joyce’s mother-in-law reached for her grandson and as Joyce’s arms were filled with another of the family’s babies. The women held the babies up to each other, smiling as the older one reached out for the younger one.

Such smiles and embraces are familiar to families around the world; but this scene was profound because, under the circumstances of our visit, it is not a common one in Kenya. Joyce is HIV-positive. In Kenya, the social stigma around HIV and AIDS is so severe that many Kenyans are afraid to be tested. They don’t want to be shunned by their families and friends if they prove to be infected. This is part of the reason the AIDS pandemic in Africa has been so hard to check. It is almost taboo to talk about the disease.

The Prodigal Returns

Joyce’s story contains elements of the prodigal son’s story (see Luke 15:11–32). She was married and had a son with her husband before he died. After his death, she embraced a lifestyle of drinking and sexual promiscuity. She had four more sons. When two of the men Joyce had slept with died from AIDS, she knew she might be infected; but she was afraid to be tested.

Over the years, loving Christians crossed Joyce’s path; and finally, she invited Jesus into her life. After some early struggles, she gave up drinking and the relationships that had dragged her down; and she embraced a path toward life. She started taking antiretroviral medications to slow the progress of the HIV and is growing stronger physically. She has also found people who help her grow stronger spiritually by praying and reading scripture with her.

Now Joyce says, “I’m very happy because God is protecting me in a lot of ways. . . . God is our provider.”



A New Home

Currently, Joyce’s two oldest sons live with relatives because she is not able to provide for them. Her prayer is that she will be able to move to a home where all her sons can live with her, where she can teach them the word of God and train them in the right way.

Joyce’s once-sad eyes were clear, and her smile was radiant during our visit to see her late husband’s family. We went to see the property they are giving Joyce as an inheritance from her husband. The local church and the missionaries are working with the family to build a house for Joyce and her sons. There she will be able to grow food and have a cow for milk, and she will live in the midst of a family who loves her.

Only the women and children were home when we visited. Their smiles were as radiant as Joyce’s. When we asked how many of them were Christians, all of the adult women in the room raised their hands. This is the source of love that has prompted them to act against cultural norms to welcome Joyce back into the family.

DIG DEEPER

One of Joyce’s favorite Bible verses is John 14:1: “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me” (NIV). How can this verse help you to love people who have been shunned by others? What does it teach you about God that can help when others reject you?

Pray for Joyce and for people around the world who are living with HIV/AIDS. Pray that those who are afraid they may have the disease will find the courage to be tested, that medical care will be available to those who are sick, and that God will provide loving people to help them embrace life.

“Maybe he’s an angel. Maybe God sent him to remind us to be thankful for what we have.”

Catherine and I had forgotten our money and were trying to weasel some out of our friends: “Feed the poor! We’re starving! Can you spare any change?” We giggled as we pleaded.

“Yeah, right. Like anyone in a prep-school uniform would be starving!” Maggie said sarcastically. We all laughed hysterically. Catherine and I borrowed money and sat in a corner booth to eat our sandwiches.

We noticed the old man sitting in front of the restaurant, but none of us glanced a second time. Men were always sitting on the sidewalk.

“So, have you girls been bad? Is that why you’re sitting in the corner?”

We were startled to see the old man leaning on the wall beside us. His eyes rested wistfully on our half-eaten sandwiches. We glanced nervously at each other and laughed politely.

“Would any of you girls have a little extra money? I’m awfully hungry.”

“Um, no. We’re sorry,” Mollie said quietly.

Then we watched as the man stumbled out to the sidewalk and sat down, his chest heaving from the effort.

“Maybe I could give him half of my sandwich,” Maggie said.

We all nodded. “He does look hungry.”

Maggie got up and went outside. She handed him the sandwich and raced back inside. We peered through the window to see his reaction.

The man’s face brightened. He put his hands together and humbly prayed. Then he nibbled at the sandwich, savoring each bite as though he hadn’t eaten in days. Maybe he hadn’t.

“I feel bad. Here I was, griping that I was starving.” I looked apologetically at the old man.

“Maybe he’s an angel.” Startled, we stared at Mollie. “Maybe God sent him to remind us to be thankful for what we have.”

“I have more money. I think I’ll buy him another sandwich,” Maggie said; and she went to stand in line.

The man staggered to his feet; we all ran outside. “Wait!” we shouted. “Don’t go. We were about to buy you another sandwich.”

“Oh, no; don’t do that. If you have three dollars, that’s all I need,” the man said.

Maggie reached into her pocket. “I have only two dollars,” she said, offering him the crumpled bills.

“That’s OK. I just asked for the money so that in the morning I could go somewhere for breakfast and coffee to warm me up.” He smiled. I liked his smile. “But if this is all you have, I don’t want to take it.”

“Take the money—please,” Maggie said.

He smiled and graciously took the two dollars.

“What’s your name?” she asked curiously.

“Ed. My name is Ed. I’m not a bad person. I love Jesus and have faith in him, even though my life is so hard. Seventeen years ago I was in the army and got my leg shot up. Now I have a horrible limp and have to use a cane. Last night, some kids stole my cane and my new bag.” His blue eyes were sad. “But I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I will remember you girls. The Bible says to feed the poor, and you’ve done that.” He paused. “And I will be your angel and go with you always.” My breath choked in my throat. Perhaps he was an angel!

We watched Ed as he hobbled down the sidewalk—our crippled angel Ed, who had given us so much. We had given him half a sandwich and two bucks. He had given us a whole new perspective on life.

DIG DEEPER

Read Matthew 5:5. Who are the meek? In what ways are they blessed? When has God worked through another person to make you more humble?

When I was growing up, most adults who talked to me about Christianity focused on the behaviors I should avoid or adopt: Don’t engage in premarital sex; set aside some quiet time with God each day—and so forth. Nothing is inherently wrong with these admonitions, but living as a disciple of Jesus Christ is more than following a simple to-do or not-to-do list. As human beings created in the image of God, our primary task is to grow more and more like Christ in every way. But wedges often get in the way.

Driving Wedges

Almost every wedge between us and other people stems from an overactive focus on our own desires: I really want to be a part of the “in crowd,” so I’ll join in the popular kids’ taunts as they pick on the “loser” or the outcast. I want to win the affections of this girl, so I’ll do and say things that may not be honorable or true in order to build up my own image and to put down the competition. In every case, our desires drive wedges between others and ourselves.

The same is true in our relationship with God. I worry more about being accepted by the guys in the locker room than in God’s eyes; so instead of following my commitment to be a virgin, I try to prove that I’m “a man” by sleeping with as many girls as I can and bragging about my sexual exploits. I know that stealing is wrong, but I justify sharing copyrighted music and videos with my friends. In every case, our desires drive wedges between God and ourselves.

Wedge-Busting

Human beings, and teenagers in particular, are prone to focus a lot of energy on themselves. Most of us think about ourselves way more than we think about anyone else, including God. And that self-centeredness is the root cause of every wedge—between God and us, between others and us.

In fact, we create most of the wedges in our lives. The steady hum of our own wants and desires drowns out the still, small voice of God, as well as the cries of those around us. The main thing that separates us from God is our own ego—our desire to act in our own self-interest. Scripture counters our selfishness, using rather destructive imagery to describe our need to “die to ourselves” and to be “crucified with Christ.” We are called to put Christ’s desires above our own, thus chipping away at the wedges that separate us from God and others. Wedge-busting is a lifelong process, but the more we rid ourselves of selfishness and self-centeredness, the more we will be open to communion with God and with humanity.

DIG DEEPER

Self-help gurus often say something like this: “If you show me your checkbook and your calendar, I will tell you what your priorities are.” If you use a calendar and keep track of your expenditures, take a few minutes to browse through those records. (If not, jot down how you spent most of your discretionary time and money over the past two months.) Then reflect on these questions: How much time or money was invested into your relationship with God or service to others? How much was spent to satiate your own desires? Does examining the use of your time or money reveal a wedge that is blocking your relationship with God or others? If so, what small changes can you make over the next few months to chip away at this wedge? Every couple of months, revisit these questions and check your progress.

Eli Baier stands six-foot-four and has the wingspan of a condor. He is the second-oldest child in a family where love reigns and eight may not be enough. He is a 4.0 student and a three-time All Western Slope League First Team selection in basketball at Delta High School. But none of these factors tells the full story of Eli Baier.

Family

Eli’s parents, Ernie and Teresa Baier, are strong family people with a passion for God. They have instilled solid values in the hearts of their eight children.

“I would say that the top three lessons I’ve learned from my parents are balance, dedication, and faith,” says Eli. “I’ve learned balance from my dad because he works hard every day but still has time for the family or to work on cars when he comes home. I’ve learned dedication from my mom because she works hard all the time raising eight kids. And I’ve learned faith from both of them. They have shown me by example how to live a life of faith, and they’ve pushed me to go further in my own faith.”

Focus

When Eli Baier came to Delta High School as a freshman, he was determined to be more than your average Baier.

“I set three goals when I entered high school,” says Eli. “One: I wanted to be good as an athlete and as a student. I wanted to bust the mold of just being a jock. Two: I wanted to meet lots of new people and be able to help them. I wanted people to be able to trust me. And three: I wanted to live for God and stay strong in my faith.”

Four years later, Eli has accomplished his goals. It hasn’t always been easy. Eli suffered three shoulder separations while playing football and basketball at Delta High School, one in his senior year. This put his final season in jeopardy, but his “game” was far from over.

Faith

“I was sad about being hurt,” says Eli candidly. “I wondered, Why is this happening to me? I worked so hard, and now this obstacle is in my way. But I opened my Bible and found strength in God. I found peace. I began to view the injury as an obstacle to overcome so that I could become closer to Christ. I knew God could bring something good out of this.

“My dad told me to find other things in life for which to be thankful, and that helped. Instead of viewing my injury as a disappointment, I was determined to use it as an opportunity to deepen my faith and to set an example for others.”

Though Eli finished the season in a limited capacity, he garnered All-Conference honors for the third straight season. Yet, he made his true mark on the hearts of the people who watched him live his faith. And that’s the book on Eli, an extraordinary teen.

DIG DEEPER

What situation in your life has caused you to wonder, Why is this happening to me? Read Romans 8:28. Do you believe that God can take the bad stuff in your life and bring good out of it? Read Joseph’s story in Genesis 37–47 to see what God did in this young man’s life. How does your situation compare?

Have you participated in a 24-Hour Famine where you had nothing to eat or drink except for a little water or juice? Many youth groups host this event to help raise money for and awareness of the problem of hunger in the world. If you don’t kill each other during the night, you often begin to feel a deep connection with those who passed the long, hungry night with you. Besides the 24-Hour Famine, I’ve fasted from food at other times. It’s amazing how much my prayer life improves when I substitute prayer for food!

Media Fast

Fasting from food was not nearly as hard as the day I fasted from media. For twenty-four hours, there was to be no TV, no radio, no CDs, no DVDs, no magazines or newspapers, no video games, no texting, no email, no social media, no Internet or computer at all. I probably should have added my cell phone too.

So, I thought as the morning began, what am I supposed to do? I never realized how addicted I was to screens, music, and noise in general. The silence of that morning was unnerving. I got to eat, but I had to force my mind away from media and onto God. I read my Bible at the time I normally would have read the sports section.

Driving to work, I reached for the radio out of habit but pulled back. Instead, I prayed my way through the traffic and thought about other people and their needs. At the office, I couldn’t work on the computer, so I did some reading and took notes by hand. (Wow! My handwriting had gotten bad!) I spent the afternoon visiting people who needed pastoral care.

The night of the fast was the hardest. I really wanted to watch television, but I lingered over dinner and talked with my family. Then we took a walk down the street. When we returned, I read a Christian book. Several times I had to pull my hand away from the TV remote. I went to bed early, thinking about the times I had stayed up late watching or listening to media.

The next morning the fast was over, and I gobbled up the sports section and turned on the radio with the same gusto that I had scarfed down a pizza after the 24-Hour Famine. But I realized, too, what a great day the media fast had been. During those 24 hours, I was less distracted; and it seemed easier for God to get through to me. I was also more aware of others and their needs. And as much as I hated to admit it, my life seemed to be more peaceful in general.

The media fast was difficult. But in that short time, I gained a brand new perspective on life. I believe we all would feel God’s presence more often if we didn’t jam our minds with so much info-clutter. In the silence, the Spirit does speak; and the words of scripture satisfy much more than the chatter of all our media.

DIG DEEPER

What did Jesus mean when he said that we do “not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4b, NRSV)? Consider what things you could substitute for the word bread in this passage—iPods, email, text messages, DVDs, Facebook, Twitter, video games, and so on. What do Jesus’ words mean for our world today?

TRY A MEDIA FAST
For one day, give up media. Instead of info-clutter, fill your mind with God’s word and with prayers for others. Become more aware of God’s presence, and listen for the Spirit’s voice.

My thirteenth year of life was the worst. Nothing happened that was particularly bad. I just felt awkward and out of place. I didn’t like myself at all; and because I didn’t like me, I was convinced that no one else liked me either. Sure, I had friends. We had fun. I looked fine on the outside, but I wasn’t fine on the inside. I wished that I were different: cooler, taller, smarter, funnier, stronger. I hated myself.

That’s when Debbie stepped in. Debbie was the perfect youth leader. She was fun, caring, and full of energy.

My friends and I were terrible to her. When she tried to lead an activity or a talk, we made fun of her. When she led music, we mimicked her. We were awful. Of course, I assumed that she wouldn’t like me because, as you know, I thought no one could.

But here’s the strange thing: Debbie actually liked me.

I didn’t get it. How could she like me? I was unlikable. How could she treat me with love when I was treating her so badly? I was unlovable, and yet someone was showing me love. Impossible! Debbie loved me when I thought nobody could. I didn’t know what to make of it. What had gotten into Debbie?

Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:43–44 (NIV), “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” What had gotten into Debbie? Jesus Christ.

It took me some time to understand fully what Debbie was doing and what was happening to me because of her. I finally figured out that because of Christ, Debbie could show love for me in spite of the way I treated her. God’s love was so strong in her that she was able to love the unlovable. She was able to love me with the love of Christ.

Impossible! Yes, but in Christ all things are possible.

Because Christ loved me through Debbie, my life changed. I began to realize that I was not unlovable after all. I began to understand that God loved me so much that Christ died for me. The only way Debbie could love me when I thought no one could is because Jesus Christ loves me when no one else can.

DIG DEEPER

The God of impossible love loves us beyond our understanding, and God’s love dwells in us so that we can do the impossible. Let Christ live in you and love others through you, even those people who are hard to love. Take a few minutes to imagine showing Christ’s love to someone who treats you badly. Now make the impossible possible!

I had a dream. My dream started on a school day. I staggered out of bed, late as usual after snoozing through the alarm. Turning toward the dresser, I fumbled for the hairbrush and forced my eyelids to open. I stopped, bewildered. My mirror had disappeared! I lurched down the hallway to the bathroom. No mirror there either!

Puzzled by this turn of events, I showered and dressed for school. Makeup was guess-work, hairstyling a hurried hunch. Leaping downstairs with my school bag, I confronted the rest of the family over breakfast.

“Sis, you look terrible!” my younger brother remarked.

Ignoring him, I turned to my parents. “Where are the mirrors? How am I supposed to know how I look?”

“You look fine, dear,” responded Dad.

“Gorgeous as always,” remarked Mom from behind her newspaper.

Stares and Giggles

Stepping onto the school bus, I felt even more self-conscious. Were people staring at me? Two girls were giggling. Was it my hair? my face? I looked down at my clothes, which seemed fine. The window refused to offer any reflection that might help my predicament.

For the rest of the day, I was a nervous wreck. Every glance, frown, or laugh seemed directed at my appearance; and I had no way of checking to see what was wrong. Even my friends seemed to give me odd looks, as if something about me was not quite right. Or they smiled as if everything was OK, which, of course, it wasn’t.

I sat alone on the bus ride home, feeling hurt and rejected although no one had actually said anything unkind. Later, in my room, I became rather teary. I realized that lacking any kind of mirror, I had turned other people into mirrors. I had looked to them to see what I was like. Their reactions determined my view of myself. Yet because they had all responded differently, I didn’t know whose opinion to trust. I was a quivering mess of emotions.

True Reflections

In desperation, I prayed, “Lord, what’s going on? How can I live without seeing myself?”

I was silent; and to my surprise, God answered. “A mirror can only show you the outside. If you want to see yourself, look inside.”

With nowhere else to turn, I looked in. I reflected on who I really was, on my hopes, fears, successes, failures, dreams, desires, beliefs, and doubts. I remembered that I was me and not a reflection of other people’s reactions or a projection of their expectations. Looking inside, I saw that I was me—not perfect, but OK.

And God said, “Let me be the one to remind you who you are; you are my beloved, and I am pleased with you.”

Again, in silence, I let God’s words sink into my soul. I realized that God as my mirror shows me who I truly am and who I might become.

Then God said the words that surprised me most: “You, my child, are my mirror. When I look at you, I see a reflection of myself. You are made in my image, and I delight in seeing my likeness in you.”

I awoke from my dream. My mirror was on my dresser, but it had lost its power over my emotions. My spirit was filled with a sense that my life was a mirror, a reflection of God to the world.

Dig Deeper

Read Genesis 1:26–28 and Psalm 8. In Genesis 1:26 (NRSV), God says, “Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness.” Theologian Geoffrey Wainwright says that being made in God’s image means that we are created for relationship with God. As God nurtures our relationship, we begin to take on God’s likeness. In the coming week, look for the image of God in other people. Look for reflections of the holy in their lives.

“You’re not good enough.” “Don’t even try.” “He is so much better than you.” Sound familiar?

The small but powerful voice is all too familiar to me. It started as a whisper; but over the years, it grew into a devouring monster that filled my mind with negative thoughts and bared its vicious teeth at my weakest and most vulnerable moments.

Over the last two years, the monster expanded its territory. I felt physically weak, my heart raced, my mind clouded, and I eventually lost touch with myself. Even on good days, I preferred hiding at home rather than facing the world. Simply put, I disliked myself.

God felt distant. In rare moments when I vaguely sensed God’s presence, I didn’t welcome it. I was angry. How could God, who professes deep unconditional love for me, sit back as I spiraled into detached darkness?

My way of life had become a destructive habit, maybe even a toxic addiction. I fearfully wandered a sharp, rocky path in the dead of night.

A “destructive habit” and a “toxic addiction”—my point is that in the devouring darkness, I still had a choice. I say it again: I had a choice. I could feed the monster with negative thinking or I could starve it.

With the aid of my long-time friend, Dan, executive director of Mount Horeb House Ministries, I learned that God blesses God’s children with the ability to choose. However, God lets us decide how to utilize this gift.

My time with Dan also taught me how profoundly I believed in fear. Fear-based thinking had become so common for me that I trusted it to protect me. Yet I dreamed of freedom from my destructive thoughts. It was time to trust God and to love myself.

I chose a divine addiction, sending my negative beliefs to God and replacing them with empowering thoughts that were grounded in God’s fulfilling peace. God began to show me that God is my protector, that I am good enough, that I do have something to offer, and that I can love myself. Actually, God demands that I love myself.

The darkness lifted, and my path felt smoother. I had purpose: loving myself.

As a society we are convinced that fear is crucial to living, that without it we are lazy or unmotivated. Believing the fear that lurks around every corner, we think we’re a failure if we aren’t chosen for the team. We think we’re not smart enough if we aren’t granted an internship. Sound familiar?

What would happen if we released our fears to God and chose to empower and love ourselves instead? Try it. Grant yourself permission and freedom to love. Love yourself!

DIG DEEPER

For one day, keep track on your phone or in a notepad of the negative thoughts you have about yourself. At the end of the day, review the list and release each negative thought to God. Rewrite each thought, transforming it into a positive statement. Then write on sticky notes loving and empowering thoughts about yourself. Stick them on your bathroom mirror, in school binders, wherever they will help you remember that you are loved.

Lent is a season of the Christian Year where Christians focus on simple living, prayer, and fasting in order to grow closer to God.

When is Lent?

It’s the forty days before Easter. Lent excludes Sundays because every Sunday is like a little Easter. Basically, it’s about one-tenth of a year (like a tithe of time). Mardi Gras is the day before Lent, which begins with Ash Wednesday. This year Lent lasts from February 13 (Ash Wednesday) – March 31 (Easter) 2013.

Mardi Gras? What does that have to do with JESUS??

Mardi Gras means “Fat Tuesday.” It refers to the day before Lent starts. Since Lent always starts on a Wednesday, the day before is always a Tuesday. And it’s called “Fat” or “Great” because it’s associated with great food and parties.

In earlier times, people used Lent as a time of fasting and repentance. Since they didn’t want to be tempted by sweets, meat, and other distractions in the house, they cleaned out their cabinets. They used up all the sugar and yeast in sweet breads before the Lent season started and fixed meals with all the meat available. It was a great feast! Through the years Mardi Gras has evolved (in some places) into a pretty wild party with little to do with preparing for the Lenten season of repentance and simplicity. Oh well. But Christians still know it’s origin and hang onto the true Spirit of the season.

So the real beginning of Lent is Ash Wednesday?

Yes. Ash Wednesday, the day after Mardi Gras, usually begins with a service where we recognize our mortality, repent of our sins, and return to our loving God. We recognize life as a precious gift from God and re-turn our lives toward Jesus Christ. We may make resolutions and commit to change our lives over the next forty days so that we might be more like Christ. In an Ash Wednesday service, usually a minister or priest marks the sign of the cross on a person’s forehead with ashes.

Why ashes?

In Jewish and Christian history, ashes are a sign of mortality and repentance. Mortality, because when we die, our bodies eventually decompose and we become dust/ dirt/ash/whatever. Repentance, because long ago, when people felt remorse for something they did, they would put ashes on their head and wear “sackcloth” (scratchy clothing) to remind them that sin is pretty uncomfortable and leads to a sort of death of the spirit. This was their way of confessing their sins and asking for forgiveness.

Where do the ashes come from?

On what we now call Palm Sunday, Jesus rode a donkey into Jerusalem while people waved palms and cheered him on. Less then a week later, Jesus was killed. The palms that were waved in joy became ashes of sorrow. We get ashes for Ash Wednesday by saving the palms from the previous Palm Sunday, burning them, and mixing them with a little water (like tears) or oil. It’s symbolic.

What do Christians do with ashes?

At an Ash Wednesday service, folks are invited to come forward to receive the ashes. The minister will make a small cross on your forehead by smudging the ashes. While the ashes remind us of our mortality and sin, the cross reminds us of Jesus’ resurrection (life after death) and forgiveness. It’s a powerful, non-verbal way that we can experience God’s forgiveness and renewal as we return to Jesus.

So what is LENT?

At Jesus’ baptism the sky split open, the Spirit of God, which looked like a dove, descended and landed on Jesus, and a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, My Beloved, with whom I am pleased.” Afterward, as told in Matthew 4:1-11, Jesus was sent into the wilderness by the Spirit, where he fasted and prayed for 40 days. During his time there he was tempted by Satan and found clarity and strength to resist temptation. Afterward, he was ready to begin his ministry.

(Speculation) Maybe Jesus needed some time with God to sort through the major changes happening in his life. Maybe he needed to get away from family, friends, and the familiar routine in order to see God (and himself) more clearly. Perhaps he wanted some intentional time with God as he searched for direction and answers like you. Like Jesus, we may need to take some serious time to pray and listen for God.

Why “DO” Lent? How do I start?

Are you searching for something more? Tired of running in circles, but not really living life with direction, purpose, or passion? It’s pretty easy to get caught up in the drama of classes, relationships, family, and work. Our lives are filled with distractions that take us away from living a life with Christ. We try to fill the emptiness inside us with mindless TV, meaningless chatter, stimulants, alcohol, too many activities, or other irrelevant stuff. We run away from life and from God.

Lent is a great time to “repent” — to return to God and re-focus our lives to be more in line with Jesus. It’s a 40 day trial run in changing your lifestyle and letting God change your heart. You might try one of these practices for Lent:

FASTING: Some people have been known to go without food for days. But that’s not the only way to fast. You can fast by cutting out some of the things in your life that distract you from God. Some Christians use the whole 40 days to fast from candy, TV, soft drinks, technology, or meat as a way to purify their bodies and lives. You might skip one meal a day and use that time to pray instead. Or you can give up some activity like worry or reality TV to spend time outside enjoying God’s creation. What do you need to let go of or “fast” from in order to focus on God? What clutters your calendar and life? How can you simplify your life in terms of what you eat, wear, or do?

SERVICE: Some Christians take something on for Christ. You can collect food for the needy, volunteer once a week to tutor children, or work for reform and justice in your community. You can commit to help a different stranger, co-worker, or friend every day of Lent. Serving others is one way we serve God.

PRAYER: Christians also use Lent as a time of intentional prayer. You can pray while you walk, create music or art as a prayer to God, or savor a time of quiet listening. All can be ways of becoming more in tune with God.

Top Ten List: THINGS YOU CAN TRY FOR THE LENTEN SEASON

1. Try an electronic fast. Give up TV, video games, texting, tweeeting, e-mail, and all things electronic for one day every week. (Or every day of Lent!) Use the time to read & pray.

2. Start a prayer rhythm. Say a prayer every time you brush your teeth, hear an ambulance, or check your e-mail or Facebook. Before you text someone, pray for them.

3. Read one chapter in the Bible each day. (Matthew’s a good book to start with. Psalms too.)

4. Forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it (maybe even yourself.)

5. Give up soft drinks, fast food, tea, or coffee. Give the money you save to help folks in New Jersey or Haiti or others in crisis.

6. Create a daily quiet time. Spend 30 minutes a day in silence and prayer.

7. Cultivate a life of gratitude. Write someone a thank you letter each week and be aware of how many people have helped you along the way.

8. Be kind to someone each day.

9. Pray for others you see as you walk to and from classes or drive to and from work.

10. Volunteer one hour or more each week with a local shelter, tutoring program, nursing home, prison ministry or a Habitat for Humanity project.

[NOTE from the Editor: For a list of DAILY practices for the 40 days of Lent, check out "Stuff To Do During Lent."]

If you pay attention to the person behind the illness, you will discover that he or she is much more important than the diagnosis.

Vinny has become impossible. He is angry and rude. He doesn’t spend time with his friends. At home, he locks himself in his room. Vinny used to be a nice kid. Now no one can stand to be around him. His family and friends don’t know what to do.

• How would you feel about Vinny if he were your friend? your brother?

• How would you feel about Vinny if he were recently diagnosed with cancer? with a mental illness?

Too often we think that a person who is mentally ill is at fault for his or her illness and that mental illness is the result of bad choices. However, biological or medical conditions often cause mental illness—regardless of a person’s choices. A disease is not a diagnosis of failure, personal weakness, or sin. The person who is mentally ill is not at fault.

Being stereotyped is perhaps the worst problem that persons with mental illness have to face. But if you pay attention to the person behind the illness, you will discover that he or she is much more important than the diagnosis.

Facts about Mental Illness in America*

• An estimated 22.1% of Americans ages 18 and older (about 1 in 5 adults) suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder in a given year.
• Approximately 20% of adolescents have a diagnosable mental health disorder.
• Between 500,000 and one million young people aged 15 to 24 attempt suicide each year.
• Suicide is the third leading cause of death for people between the ages of 15 and 24.

What to Do

If you know people who are mentally ill, you need to “mind less” about their diagnoses and “mind more” about them as persons.

• Make your relationship more important than their diagnoses.
• Involve yourself in their lives. Many people pull away from the mentally ill.
• Never judge.
• Don’t analyze.
• Love because God loves.
• Express your feelings. People who are mentally ill know that you probably have mixed feelings about them.
• Stand up for your rights. If they are mistreating you, say so.
• Show others, by your example, how to treat someone with a mental illness.

If you have a diagnosed mental illness, here are some ideas about making things better for yourself:

• Don’t use your diagnosis as an excuse.
• Involve yourself in treatment. Seek and follow the advice of professionals.
• Accept your diagnosis and remember that God is with you (see Romans 8:35–39).
• Give yourself credit for the good you do. You are bigger than your diagnosis!
• Never give up. Your illness could last a lifetime, but you can still enjoy life! If you are thinking of suicide, talk to everyone who will listen.
• Offer to help others who are less fortunate than you are.
• Stay connected to other people. Some will avoid you because of your illness; others are waiting to be your true friends.
• In the hardest times, reach out.
• Stay connected with God. God knows you and loves you! God may use your illness for God’s glory.

DIG DEEPER

Read Psalm 139:1-18. God created you. God knew who you were going to be. How can this be of comfort to you or to someone you know who has a mental illness?

Mental Illness Is Not

• a diagnosis of failure
• a curse, but a course in life
• a sign of personal weakness
• a sin

Check Out the Following Websites and Helplines

Information on Various Mental Illnesses:

• http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=By_Illness
• http://friendshospital.com/about/mental_health_facts/
• http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml

 Helplines:

• 1 (800) 950-NAMI (6264) — NAMI Information HelpLine (Monday-Friday, 10 am-6 pm ET)
• 1-800-448-3000 — Girl’s and Boy’s Town National Hotline

*Statistics taken from the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), the National Center for Children in Poverty, and the MedicineNet websites.

I have worked with teenagers with depression, Down syndrome, bipolar disorder, autism, epilepsy, cerebral palsy, Parkinson’s disease, and anxiety disorders. I’ve counseled kids who cut themselves, abuse alcohol or drugs, have sex with anyone who’s willing, and attempt suicide. Some of these kids are victims of circumstances over which they have no control; others are suffering the consequences of their own bad choices.

The Blame Game

Our natural instinct is to blame God for circumstances that are beyond our control, whether they come upon us suddenly (our parents’ divorce, the death of a loved one) or have been with us since birth (physical deformities, mental disabilities).

A whole book of the Bible is devoted to the experiences, conversations, and prayers of Job, a man who has lost everything. The Book of Job also reveals our natural tendency to blame others, even God. In the story, Job’s friends try to make sense out of what has happened, suggesting that he is being punished for something he did and encouraging him to simply curse God and die. Job chooses, however, to focus on growing in his faith despite the challenges. His choice seems to please God.

Jesus’ disciples also assumed that people’s problems were a result of their sin or the sin of their parents (John 9:2). Jesus repeats the message that we shouldn’t focus our energy on placing blame but on growing in our relationship with God regardless of the circumstances.

The “Fix-It” Mentality

Our inclination is to fix everyone and everything around us that doesn’t look or behave the way we think it should. Most people view mental illness as something to be fixed. Even the term mental illness implies that something is not right, that people who have mental illnesses are broken in some way.

If we add to that our desire to say something meaningful or helpful in a crisis, we can unwittingly do more damage than good. For example, one of the worst things we can do when consoling a friend who has lost a loved one is to try to explain why it happened as if that would take away their pain. Grieving people need us to be with them in the midst of their suffering, allowing them to grieve rather than trying to explain away their pain. The same is true for people with mental illnesses.

A Change of Perspective

Shifting our perspective on mental illness doesn’t mean that people should not seek treatment. I certainly recommend consulting mental health professionals for advice and treatment of mental conditions, just as we confer with surgeons, nutritionists, and physical therapists to help our bodies function at full capacity. However, for our overall health, it is far more important that we begin to recognize that all human beings, regardless of the challenges they face, are created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).

When we focus only on what needs to be “fixed,” we lose sight of the precious image of our Creator within one another. Perhaps instead of trying to fix people, we need to spend our energy readjusting our perspectives so that we see people through the eyes of Christ, not as broken or mentally ill but as beloved children of God.

DIG DEEPER

Spend a few minutes creating a list of people you know who have mental challenges. Choose one or two of them toward whom you have either negative or neutral feelings. Ask God to help you begin to see them through Jesus’ eyes. Spend five minutes imagining how your attitude and behavior toward them would be different if you saw them as Jesus does. Try to see and hear yourself interacting with them. Be aware of how your feelings for them are changing and developing. Finally, offer a prayer thanking God for beginning to mold you more closely into God’s image.

TV hasn’t always been in high definition. Screens haven’t always been the size of movie theater screens. TV hasn’t always been in color. (Scary but true!) Once upon a time, we didn’t have DVRs and we watched shows live when they first aired, without fast-forwarding through commercials.

For me, thinking about “God in HD” isn’t about particular shows I watch or characters I love. It’s more about the television itself.

When I was a kid, we had a small black and white television in the kitchen upstairs. We watched cartoons during breakfast or game shows right before dinner. It was awesome! But the TV was small; and because it had no color, it got boring. When we wanted a better TV experience, we went to the living room. There, directly opposite the couch, stood a large color TV built into its own wooden cabinet. Compared to the little black and white, this TV was a giant. I was a kid, and the people on this TV seemed much closer to my size. The color was lifelike.

Several years ago, my sister and I talked our parents into making the jump into this century by getting a new TV. I went with them as they walked down row after row of TVs and finally selected the one that became the crown jewel of our family’s entertainment center. Now, in the middle of our living room sits a top-of-the-line 40” High Definition LCD television. I remember the first time we turned it on. The colors were unreal. We could see every detail on every object. To be honest, we didn’t need to see every tiny detail of the local news anchor’s face, but having the option made all the difference.

God in HD

By now, you’re probably wondering, What does this have to do with God? And rightly so!

My relationship with God is sort of like my family’s history with television. In the early days, I saw everything a specific way. When I thought about God, I envisioned a tiny paper Jesus on a bulletin board at church. It had the same depth as that little black and white TV in the kitchen.

As I grew up, my image of God started to change. Suddenly, passages of the Bible took on new meaning. The face of God became clearer and looked a lot different. Now, I’m beginning to see God in HD. Every time I read or think about scripture, tiny details begin to emerge. As I continue to grow, I look forward to all the ways my image of God will change and become clearer. God in HD is more real than ever before.

How about you? Are you seeing God in HD, or is it time for an upgrade?

DIG DEEPER

Go low tech. Grab a piece of paper (go ahead, I’ll wait). Draw, write, or doodle your thoughts about seeing God in HD. These questions may help:

• What does God look like to you? How clear is the picture?
• Where do you see God on TV?
• If you’re not into TV, what technology is God most like? Why?

When I went to summer camp as a child, they told me that if I peed in the pool, a purple ring would circle around me and everyone would know that I had peed in the pool. So I would swim frantically to the edge of the pool and walk briskly to the bathroom in order to avoid the ridicule of the purple ring. I suspect that the purple ring was a summer camp lie, made up to keep campers from swimming in a pool of urine.

As a teenager, I decided that someone should create colors for human gas, coded according to the severity of the exhaust. Then as you are roaming the aisles of a department store, you would have some warning before encountering a foul stench: “Oh, no! A purple cloud. Let’s avoid that aisle for a while.” To my knowledge, no one has developed color-coded gas; but it still seems like a good idea.

OK, keep reading. There’s a point to these stories, I promise!

Beginning a Story

The Book of Genesis opens with God beginning the process of creation by speaking into the darkness: “Let there be light!” Maybe it’s me, but this story seems to begin in a remarkably different way than most stories we hear and tell today.

Many movies, such as the Star Wars saga, begin with a long prologue that tells the current state of affairs and sets the stage for the upcoming story. Generally, the prologue deals with issues or problems that will lead to destruction if they are not resolved. Rarely do movies begin with a life-giving story, as Genesis does; those storylines usually occur near the end of a film. Even I started this article with stories about problems, albeit silly ones.

Telling Stories v.s. Gossip

When it comes to telling stories, we tend to gravitate toward the dramatic. Sadly, our lives have become overwhelmed by destructive gossip. Gossip magazines and TV shows are a huge business. People magazine makes over a billion dollars a year, and TMZ makes millions. The business of gossiping has trickled down into our everyday lives and will continue to shape us until we change our attitudes and habits.

Gossip, by definition, is “rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.” Typically, gossip is information that is considered valid but then turns out to be less than true. When individuals or groups engage in gossip, their conversation is fueled by agitation and elitism. Statements begin with “I can’t believe they . . .” or “They are so . . .” These stories often begin with a preconceived self-righteous attitude.

Imagine how our conversations would change if we concentrated on being creative rather than destructive. We might begin to see the inherent beauty in other people. After a conversation, we might feel alive rather than drained. What stories can we tell that create life rather than belittling or destroying it? By becoming life-givers, we enter faithfully into God’s story for us.

Perhaps my original idea has some merit: Maybe we need to create an indicator for destructive talk, a purple cloud that would encircle people who were speaking in destructive ways. That way, we could easily spot and avoid a gossip, or we could stop our own gossiping before we go too far. Such a thing does not exist, as far as I know. Until it does, we need to figure out how to talk so that the breath we breathe is not destructive fire–breathing dragon breath but God’s creative life-giving breath.

DIG DEEPER

When you start talking about other people, ask yourself these two questions:

• Is this conversation helpful?
• Can something good come out of it?

If you answer “Yes,” if the words you’re speaking are true and beneficial, then keep talking. Otherwise, you may be engaging in talk that is less about God and more about elitism—or dragons.

PRAYER: Creator God, speak life into our hearts and into our conversations. Amen.

Alan Powell was six years old when he first believed in Christ and Christ’s redemption. Ten years later, Alan started asking questions and wrestling with his faith in ways that challenged him beyond belief. He remembers being lost in the song “Here I Am to Worship” and reading the book Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis. At seventeen, he decided to give himself wholeheartedly to God and to live what he believed in new ways.

“It wasn’t until that moment that I decided I was going to follow Christ,” said Alan when I chatted with him, Chad Graham, and Caleb Grimm of the pop foursome Anthem Lights.

Following Christ, for the members of Anthem Lights, is a daily practice that moves them from simply believing in Christ to living out their beliefs by being the hands and feet of Christ in the world and telling others about Christ’s love. Having toured with MercyMe, Jars of Clay, and The Afters, these guys recognize their amazing opportunity to reach large numbers of people. Alan, a singer and songwriter who has co-written all of the songs on Anthem Lights’ debut album, sees the band as a vehicle to tell the world about the gospel of Jesus Christ. Alan believes the band is called to perform so that people leave saying “What a great God!” instead of “What a great show!” He adds, “We want to do performances that help you change eternally and not just entertain you for an hour.” Chad echoes that “for me, going on stage and being able to deliver these messages is such a big blessing.”

While they are blessed to tell people about Christ and to have fun doing it, the guys of Anthem Lights believe they have an even greater calling to live their faith. “The main way for us to express faith is in our daily lives, in the decisions we make day-in and day-out—just as Jesus did,” says Alan. “It’s what happens between the shows.”

Of course, the guys still have to wrestle with difficult questions and situations. Caleb knows he can be “kind of a control freak” and often wants to know what’s next in life. He relies on scripture to remind him to trust God. Alan sometimes wonders why disastrous things happen to good people; he reads scripture to help him learn “how to face the daily struggles as a believer and to have a godly perspective on those things.”

The guys say that it’s vital to spend time every day with God in prayer. After that, Alan says, the next day-in and day-out decision is how we choose to treat people. “We are called to show God’s love to everyone regardless of the circumstance.”

DIG DEEPER

Alan says the songs on the debut album are born out of real experiences. “We’ve gone through moments when we felt close to the Lord . . . and then moments when we felt we were going around in circles and couldn’t find God at all. I think we’ve just tried to be honest about what that darkness feels like and yet make it clear that ‘the Light always wins.’”

Life happens and often makes us wrestle with what we believe. Journal about how you’ve stayed close to God and grounded in your faith. When you have wandered in circles or strayed from the path, who or what helped you to follow the light, to find your way back? How do you practice your faith and live your beliefs day-in and day-out?

Learn more about the guys of Anthem Lights and listen to their music.

Are you a pirate? I’m not talking about the peg-legged, parrot-on-your-shoulder kind of pirate. I’m asking if you are involved in piracy, the illegal downloading of music.

I used to be a pirate. At the beginning of the millennium, when file-sharing programs like Napster and LimeWire hit the web, I downloaded thousands of songs. My friends and I never gave a second thought to the moral or spiritual implications of sharing copyrighted mp3s. After most of the file-sharing programs were shut down, sites like The Pirate Bay popped up; and I downloaded full albums for free.

As a Christian, I knew that stealing was wrong (the eighth commandment comes to mind); but for some reason, I continued to download music. I tried to justify my actions by telling myself that artists and their record labels made enough money in other ways, that my stealing an album would not affect them.

The Casualty List

The Christian music industry has been deeply affected by piracy. Christian music is a ministry. Christian artists go on tour, spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ through music. Merchandise sales and live performance fees keep their ministry going, but they’re not enough. Most Christian artists do not have the support of endorsement deals and don’t have their music played on TV or in movies, which is a major source of income for secular artists. (Have you ever heard a newsboys tune playing in an Apple commercial or seen a Vitamin Water billboard with Chris Tomlin’s picture on it?) Piracy is eating away at record sales; and since less money is coming in, several Christian record labels have had to close or to downsize.

I am passionate about stopping piracy because I was a casualty of it. I majored in music business in college and got an internship my last semester at a Christian music label. I worked hard and was offered a job when I graduated. I helped market records for some of my favorite artists and got to spend over a year in Christian music. Though I was aware that piracy was affecting the industry, I was shocked when my boss called me into his office and told me that our label’s financial trouble had made downsizing necessary—including my job. Since then, I have vowed never to illegally download music again. Unfortunately, I had to lose my job before I felt this strongly about a form of theft that occurs every day and of which I had been guilty. I hope that by telling you my story, you will join me and stop being a pirate.

DIG DEEPER

Ill-gotten treasures have no lasting value, but righteousness delivers from death.

Proverbs 10:2 (NIV)

When we illegally download music, we may think we are getting away with something; but we’re not. We are stealing and also hurting others who have worked hard to create, record, produce, and promote music. Think about the ripple effect of piracy. What role have you played in the pirating? How will you change your habits in 2012?

I love movies. I love going to the movies, watching movies in my home, and making movies (on a very small scale). My passion for movies connects with my day job. I’m an Episcopal priest. At my church, I teach a class called Film School in which we watch classic and contemporary films and use them as a springboard to explore what God is doing in our lives.

Every once in a while, I run into someone who gets cranky, wondering why I give movies so much airtime in Sunday school. I explain that movies are more than entertainment. Movies matter—not simply because they get our attention but because, in a way, they are sacramental. They are outward and visible signs that point to spiritual truths. All movies, even the bad ones, point to something larger than the stories they tell. They are a way of talking about some of life’s biggest questions. Therefore, movies also matter to God.

Asking Big Questions, Opening Space for God

Every culture in human history has told stories—about gods on Mount Olympus; about a trickster coyote who learned lessons the hard way; about a spider, a worm, and their silk; about a child wearing a red hood, skipping through the woods to her grandmother’s house. All these stories serve the same purpose: They give people a way to talk about their fears, to pass on wisdom from one generation to another, and to make sense of what is happening in their lives. As G. K. Chesterton said, “Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten.”

All these stories serve the same purpose: They give people a way to talk about their fears, to pass on wisdom from one generation to another, and to make sense of what is happening in their lives. As G. K. Chesterton said, “Fairy tales are more than true, not because they tell us dragons exist, but because they tell us dragons can be beaten.”

Movies are the way our modern-day culture tells stories; movies offer us a way to express our fears, to pass on wisdom and insights, to make sense of our lives. Two years ago, Hurt Locker won the Academy Award for Best Picture. Why? Because it portrays an ongoing conversation in our country about what wars are doing to the men and women who fight them. The Dark Knight, a popular comic book movie, asks: “How do we defeat evil without becoming evil?” Is any question more relevant to our culture post 9/11?

Because movies grapple with big questions, they matter to God, who has an opinion on these subjects. God also tells a story about how the world works, where our lives are going, and what makes life worth living. When people engage in conversations that ask big questions or wonder about the meaning of life, they open space for the Holy Spirit to change hearts and to speak truth. That is why all movies, no matter how silly, have a place in the way God is rescuing the world.

DIG DEEPER

If you want to start watching movies in a way that matters, keep an eye on the ways three stories overlap. 1) Pay attention to the story the filmmaker is telling. What is the message of the movie? How is it communicated? 2) Think about your story. How are you reacting or relating to the movie? Why? What is going on in your life, past or present, that connects with the film? 3) Consider God’s story. What are the connections between the stories of scripture and of the church and the story being told by the movie? Looking for the connections will help you start watching movies to the glory of God.

Everyone goes through breakups of one kind or another. Sometimes a breakup is between a girl and a guy. At other times, a breakup might happen between members of a family or even between God and us. Every breakup comes with a different set of struggles and challenges, so it’s important to remember the big picture: Each of us will face disappointments, but God gives us hope and strength.

On his new CD, Leaving Eden, singer-songwriter Brandon Heath draws from his own experience to express the feelings of pain and disappointment that follow a breakup. I talked with Brandon after a live rehearsal about some of the breakups that influenced his new record.

Learning to Express Your Grief

“The record is a lot about growing and not letting the world tell you what you think,” he said. Instead of reacting as the world tells us to, Brandon believes we should think about how Christ would act in difficult situations.

We also talked about how he has learned to heal after difficult breakups, because acting in a Christ-like way does not always make the process easier. Brandon admits that sometimes we try to be strong, acting as if nothing is wrong and hoping that we will just get over losing a friend or a relationship. But he knows that holding in our pain is not the most effective route to healing.

“What’s important is that you grieve when those things happen,” Brandon says. “When something hurts, mourn it, let it hurt you, and go through that; and then you will find your joy on the other side.”

Breakups hurt. We do not need to feel embarrassed or weak when we grieve, especially when we express our feelings to God.

Finding Strength in Weakness

Brandon experienced a breakup in his family that God used in profound ways. His dad and stepmom divorced when Brandon was young. After the divorce, he lost contact with his stepmom and her kids.

Years later, Brandon wrote the song “I’m Not Who I Was” about this situation. “She heard the song but didn’t know it was me singing and definitely didn’t know it was about her. But God used that.” When his step-sister found him on Facebook, they were all reunited. “God used my greatest weakness, the experience of that broken relationship, in a song. And fifteen years later, God used that song to help reconcile that same relationship and so many others for other people.”

Relying on God

As we work through breakups, it’s important to remember that God is ready to help us reconcile these relationships and the emotions that hurt most. The lyrics from Leaving Eden echo Brandon’s words about holding on to God to get through our breakups. Scripture tells us that God can use all things for God’s glory. Even when we break off our relationship with God, God is ready to offer us a safe haven in a world so far from perfection, so far from Eden.

DIG DEEPER

Brandon says that part of healing broken relationships is “forgiving people, letting them off the hook, and giving them the benefit of the doubt.” What relationship in your life needs healing because you have not been willing to forgive?

Through the lyrics of “The One,” Brandon expresses his belief that one person can be the difference in another person’s life. How has showing God’s love made a difference to the people in your life, especially when they’re facing heartaches and breakups?

In his song “As Long As I’m Here,” Brandon imagines being in heaven and asking God, “How well did I love?” In what relationship is God calling you to love more, to love well—to love as Christ loves?

What is a God calling? Is it a mysterious voice on the phone? “Hello, this is God calling. I have something for you to do.” I don’t think that’s how God normally works. If God called on the phone, would anyone take God seriously? I wouldn’t!

I experienced God’s calling not too long ago. The frigid November night chilled my room, and our wood-burning furnace seemed to be warming nothing but itself. As I pulled my blankets tighter around me, my thoughts focused on Every Young Man’s Battle, a book about overcoming sexual addictions. At the end of the book are testimonies about teenagers who studied the book together and successfully broke their sexual addictions. Suddenly, my thoughts formed into an idea: What if a group like this existed at my church? As soon as the idea popped into my head, I sensed God’s calling. It wasn’t an audible voice but a feeling deep within my gut. I shivered, not because of the cold but because I knew that God wanted me to start and to lead the group.

Immediately, my mind went into defense mode. In desperation I began to list my disqualifications: “I’m too shy.” “I’m too young.” “I’m not smart enough.” “I wouldn’t know what to do.” I tried to convince God that my youth director or one of my pastors would do a much better job, but the feeling in my soul told me God thought otherwise. I lay under the blankets completely speechless. I didn’t believe I could lead this group; but obviously God did, so I gave in to God’s calling.

When God commanded Moses to rescue the Israelites from slavery, Moses made excuses: “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” “Suppose they do not believe me or listen to me.” “I have never been eloquent.” “Please send someone else.” (Read the whole story in Exodus 3:1–4:17.) Moses’ excuses were almost identical to mine. But reassured of God’s wisdom and control, Moses went on to save an entire nation and to become one of the most famous prophets of all time—and I went on to lead the group.

Not one person walked away from the group without being changed. God had made it a success. But my calling had only begun. Over time, I have realized that God was calling me not only to lead one group of teens but also to lead teens fulltime as a youth minister. Sometimes I don’t believe I’ll be able to do it; but I know that God believes I can, and that’s enough for me.

When God calls you to do something, remember this simple fact: Qualifications don’t matter to God. If God calls you, then nothing can stop you—except maybe your own excuses.

DIG DEEPER

Practice keeping a “discernment” journal. Write down some things you think God might be calling you to do. Pray about each one. Continue to journal and to pray about these things. From time to time, read through your previous journal entries. Do you see a particular theme developing? Is there a gentle nudge that won’t go away? Then God may be calling. And if, like me, you start to make excuses, remember that nothing is impossible with God.

Everybody has problems; that’s just a part of life. Situations spiral out of control, or we get caught in the fall-out of other people’s relationships. During difficult times, we often need some temporary help from friends—a listening ear, a few extra dollars, a little time to hang out together. After that, we usually can find the strength to handle our problems or, at least, can see them from a different and healthier perspective.

“Boat-Swampers”

There are some people, however, who are perpetually depressed, constantly in trouble, or have chronically chaotic lives. They have a different type of need; and their problems are not the result of temporary circumstances but rather stem from deeply-rooted damage which, in most cases, occurred years ago. Perhaps you have one of these friends:

• The person who can never get enough of your attention. No matter how often you call, you hear, “Why didn’t you call sooner?” This friend is a bottomless pit of need. At first, it felt good to be wanted; but now you feel as though you can’t have a moment’s peace. Being his friend used to be a joy, but now you feel drained. You don’t have anything left to give, but still your friend wants more.

• The person who gets angry if you pay attention to anyone else. Her jealousy is like a leash around your neck. You like being with this person; but you feel that if you have any life of your own, she will think that you are being disloyal. You resent being trapped by this envious friend, who is always putting down anyone else you like to hang with, even your family.

• The person who continually makes bad decisions. This friend came to you for advice but seemed intent on doing something dangerous. You warned him about the consequences and tried to steer him down another path, but he did just the opposite and got into a world of trouble. Soon another situation pops up; the same friend asks you for advice but again does the opposite. Your friend seems determined to live a destructive life. You want to help him, but nothing you do or say ever seems to make a difference.

As disciples of Christ, what do we do with these difficult friends who swamp our boat when we try to rescue them?

Sound Advice

I think my friend’s advice is quite sound: If someone swamps your boat, you both sink and no one is rescued. We have to realize that some people have been so deeply wounded that their needs are too great for one person to meet. We have to take care that we don’t get caught as the only friend of these people, for we may find ourselves swamped in the rescue boat with them.

If you have a boat-swamping friend, seek advice from your youth director, your pastor, or a Christian counselor. Consider how your youth group or your friends can work together to care for people who are too much for one person to handle. Do all you can to get your friend into worship, prayer, and fellowship with other Christians. And take heart: God will use you to help others but doesn’t expect you to be their savior. That’s Jesus’ role, and it’s only through his transforming love and friendship that we can solve our toughest problems and heal our deepest wounds.

DIG DEEPER

Take a few minutes to examine the way you care for others. Do you extend yourself to the point of being emotionally drained? Do you feel exhausted by numerous attempts to rescue others? Consider how you protect the boundaries of your life from the overwhelming needs in others’ lives. Who are the friends—both peers and adults—who can help you care for those whose needs are too great for you? Who can help you to restore your energy when you are drained?

JOHN 11:1–44 (NRSV)

Jesus had just escaped an attempt on his life. The religious leaders in Jerusalem were enraged. Because Jesus claimed to be one with the Father, equal to God, they were ready to kill him. Jesus and his disciples left the area.

Then Jesus heard about the death of his friend Lazarus and decided to go to Bethany to comfort Lazarus’s sisters. The disciples reminded him that people there were also trying to kill him and urged him to avoid Bethany; but one disciple spoke up and said, “Let’s go too. If Jesus dies, let us die with him.”

Who said that? Was it the bold, brash Peter? Nope. James or John, the faithful “Sons of Thunder” (Mark 3:17, NRSV)? Not them either. It was Thomas. Wait—Thomas? Doubting Thomas? He was that courageous? Yes, Doubting Thomas was courageous enough to die with Jesus if necessary.

JOHN 14:1–7 (NRSV)

When Jesus was explaining that he would have to die, he said cryptically, “You know the way to the place where I am going.” Only Thomas had the courage to say what everyone else was thinking: “Lord, we don’t know where you are going. How can we know the way?” It takes courage to admit you don’t understand.

JOHN 20:19–29 (NRSV)

It also takes courage to admit you have doubts. Thomas faced his doubts, admitted them, and found the proof he needed to declare, “My Lord and my God!” Thomas may be called “Doubting Thomas,” but he isn’t doubting now. He’s convinced. He knows that Jesus is the Christ. Do you?

Let Doubting Thomas help you find the courage to confront your doubts and to confess your faith.

— Kristee Ravan

DIG DEEPER

Is it really better to be without doubts? Questions are good. Questions and doubts help strengthen our faith. Searching for answers to our questions, even if we never find them, can help us grow closer to God. Blindly following God, having faith without thinking about or understanding what we believe, often leads to a shallow relationship with the Lord.

Besides, Jesus doesn’t mind questions. Throughout the Gospels, he takes the time to answer questions patiently and honestly, no matter who is asking.

What are your doubts? What are your questions? Ask Jesus, or write about them in your journal. Listen and search for answers. Let your questions lead you closer to God.