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Through God’s Strength

Tynea Lewis

Fourteen-year-olds aren’t supposed to have heart and breathing problems. They aren’t supposed to visit cardiologists, where everyone in the waiting room has white hair, hearing aids, and a walker. They aren’t supposed to hear doctors say, “We don’t think this heart monitor gave an accurate reading; it shows that you should be dead.”

Tynea Lewis 100_0296 2None of my friends could truly understand what I was facing. All I wanted was to keep playing field hockey, but my health issues forced me to walk away from my sport before finishing high school.

In my freshman year, during field hockey games, I began having episodes in which I had trouble breathing, became dizzy, had chest pains, went numb in my limbs, and became disoriented. At first, I thought the problem was my asthma; but the symptoms kept getting worse. Visiting cardiologists and pulmonary specialists became a normal routine for me. New medicines were introduced, and diagnoses were added; but still, questions were left unanswered.

I was told I was courageous, but I didn’t feel especially brave. I felt defective and not strong enough to keep fighting. On more than one occasion, I cried out to God, asking why my life was so unfair. All I wanted was to be normal.

Tynea sitting on bench FTROften, my feelings spilled out into my journal:
God, I want to know what’s wrong with me. I am so sick of going through all these tests. Why is this happening to me? All I want is to be like my friends, to be able to run and to do everything without heart problems or trouble breathing. And yet, I know that you’re with me every step of the way.

Even though I was angry and nothing made sense to me, I knew in the depths of my heart that God was with me, walking right beside me; so I could keep fighting. But I couldn’t do it on my own. Only through God’s strength was I able to keep going. I needed to draw closer to God and to trust that God was working for good in my life, even though it wasn’t the life I would have chosen for myself. Looking back, I can see that this whole experience strengthened my faith.

 

Tynea journalingDIG DEEPER

In difficult situations, all we can do is to keep pressing on and to place everything in God’s hands. God will give us courage when we feel that we can’t keep fighting.

What challenge are you facing? Take it to God. Write a prayer, asking God for the courage to keep going and for assurance that God is with you. Then trust God’s promise: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid: do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9b, NIV).

 

Tynea Lewis , the LitPick.com site administrator and the school resource content creator for Family Friend Poems, enjoys writing, spending time with family and friends, and eating chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

—from devozine (January/February 2015). Copyright © 2014 by The Upper Room®. All rights reserved.

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