devozine

Spiritual Practice

LOOKING FOR LIGHT

Ashley Oliver, 18

Looking for light in the darkness is scary and may seem impossible. For almost three years. I struggled with an eating disorder. Oftentimes, I felt anger and resentment toward God for having to fight such a difficult battle. I felt hopeless, thinking I would never get better. I doubted that God would help me work through this dark time in my life. Finally, I realized that God was at work; but I needed to work as well.

Our God gives light to our eyes and a little relief in our bondage.
Ezra 9:8b (NIV)

I am now in recovery. I rely on scripture and prayer to keep me strong and motivated. I’ve learned that if I trust God in times of struggle, I can more easily fight the obstacles I’m facing. God blesses and encourages me through the other people in my life: my pastor, my friends, my sister, my youth leaders, my teachers. Without them, I wouldn’t be here right now, so I make sure never to take them for granted. At times, I’ve felt mentally and emotionally exhausted, unable to fight anymore. Especially in these moments, it is crucial for me to remember that God loves me. I may not see a way through my difficulties, but God knows the way.

 

JOURNAL: Write about a dark time in your life. Who or what helped you through it?

—from devozine (March/April 2015). Copyright © 2015 by The Upper Room®. All rights reserved.

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