devozine

Spiritual Practice

Loved

Wesley Overhults

Thinking about it used to upset you, but it doesn’t anymore. You did it once, and it felt good; now you think about it all the time. You started with shallow cuts in strategic places, so they wouldn’t show; but they no longer ease the gnawing ache inside. You’re numb, and the numbness is what scares you. You hurt yourself to remember pain, to remember what it feels like to feel. You don’t tell anyone because you’re ashamed. You hide it in the dark so that no one knows you’re cutting and no one can stop you. No one can stop you from feeling.

 

Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: Amend your ways and your doings, and let me dwell with you in this place.
Jeremiah 7:3 (NRSV)

God knows what you’re doing. God has always known and has always been there. The little voice in the back of your head that warns you to stop is God’s voice. The desire to stop hurting yourself is God’s desire. No matter what you think is controlling you, you are ultimately in control of your actions. There’s no shame in admitting you have a problem or in getting help to solve it.

 

REMEMBER: God loves you. Somewhere deep inside, you also love yourself or you wouldn’t be reading this. You are loved. You don’t have to hurt yourself anymore.

—from devozine (September/October 2012). Copyright © 2012 by The Upper Room®. All rights reserved.

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