devozine

Spiritual Practice

WHY LIVE?

Anonymous, 18

I was done. I was ready to end it all. Overdosing on pills seemed the most logical option. People were going to talk. Some would cry. But I was tired of crying.

“Before I shaped you in the womb,
I knew all about you.
Before you saw the light of day,
I had holy plans for you.”
Jeremiah 1:5 (The Message)

For some reason, I decided to say a simple prayer: God, if you need me to live, let someone see my suicide note. In that moment, I had doubts. As much as I wanted to leave, part of me wanted to stay. I left my note in a fairly obvious place.

My prayer was answered. My mum found the note. And I finally realized the gravity of what I had planned to do.

 

In many places around the world, depression and mental illness are not talked about openly. But keeping quiet can be harmful. I survived. And I believe I have a new purpose: to help others see that even when we feel as if all is lost and we are worthless, God loves us and desires good things for us.

 

DO SOMETHING POSITIVELY NEW: Start a journal. Meditate. Walk outdoors. Talk to someone. See yourself as God sees you. Ask for help. Speak up for what you need. Allow God to do a new thing in and through you.

—from devozine (January/February 2020). Copyright © 2019 by The Upper Room®. All rights reserved.

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